How to handle my new family
Discussions on "How to handle my new family" in "In-Laws" forum.
3rd Dec 2015, 01:49 PM #1Newbie
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- Dec 2015
How to handle my new family
I saw this page is very useful for many i appericate for this effective work.
Am a newly married girl. Am 25 yrs and brought up in nuclear and city family. But I was married to opposite side. Even they are good i could not accept some old blind beliefs in them. I was to take care of my mother sister as my dad will be busy always. But here they say girls are only to cook and household items. Even going for walk is not good.
Now we are living in muscat with my MIL. She is very orthodox conservative person. She lived in joint family with her husband and their brothers. But nearly 25 years back she lost her Husband. She alone brought my husband and her 2 elder sisters. I can understand her feelings and struggles as a single.
She is over possessive of her son. She says two controversial one and say i dnt kw to do as the time permits. She is not willing to come out but saying us to go if we go out and come she is not normal. She wanted to know mostly all what is happening in bedroom also. As all know some fights will be there between couples she wanted to know those one also. If it is a big one we would say to her sometimes it will be simple one. If am not well she wanted to tell to her but she links all my illness with pregnancy. We got married this april only but within this 7 months we took all tests. Am having POCS but we din say to anybody as it will be bad on me.
She is fault finding in both of us. She has once said that " Vantha ponnu kaila thn vetu pirikama irukarathu, ne avan keta ena pathi solurathu thaipu ila avan yathuku marunanu songa". My hubby asked abt it so she got angry. She wanted to be fully village girl but is not telling directly. If we ask her that she is willing to change me means she says if i want i will say directly to you. But still she is not saying to me that saying like in my home we were like this only. Like this many controversy is happening daily.
I will not talk more to elders as i had seen many probs due to jolly speaking also so i stoping talking much to elders. But in my new home they always wanted me to talk with mil. If started talking it ends in conflict like one so am not talking much.
Please say some thing i cant change all my habits and my dreams. But i dnt wanted to hurt my MIL also.
3rd Dec 2015, 03:44 PM #2
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- May 2011
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Re: How to handle my new family
Your husband is very supportive and u also don't want to hurt yr mill know then don't worry. This is small matter you can handle it easily.
Not only your mother inlaw so many are like this only. Even I had the same problem. athuvum en maamiyaar enaku rombave periyavanka... avankalum village thaan.
en maamiyaarukku veetu velai ellam naamale parkanum. servant vachaa pidikaathu. ethavathu kurai sollite irupaanka. ithuku munnadi vanthu vanthu ponaanka... ippa enkalodave thaan irukaanka.... athanaala naan maid niruthittu naane thaan panren. She will also help me...
En husband avanka parentsku ore son. athanala avanka enkaloda thaan irupaanka. naan thaan adjust pannanum. Husband mattum venum avanka parents vendamnnu solla mudiyathu illaiyaa... naaliku namakum ithe nilamai varalaam.
unka mill avanka young agela ethuvum avankalaala enjoy panna mudiyalai illaiyaa... so athanaala appadi irukaanka. Neenka monthly once avanakalaiyum enakiyavathu kudittu ponka.
Neenka unkaloda enjoyment avankalukkaaga vida vendaam. Neenka pora idathukku poittu vaanka... avanka konja naalla sari aagiduvaanka. athe time avankalaiyum ignore pannatheenka. unka hubbya daily avankaloda konjam time spent panna sollunka. Don't argue or fight with her.
unkalukku kulanthai piranthittaa avanka antha kulanthaiya valakirathula busy aagiduvaanka.. appa konjam problems kammi aagidum.
Neenka ithaiye yosikaama unkalukku pidicha hobbies la concentrate pannunka. Avanka sari agiduvaanka.