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Depressed over my brother

Discussions on "Depressed over my brother" in "In-Laws" forum.

  1. #1
    RamyaEswari is offline Newbie
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    Dec 2012

    Unhappy Depressed over my brother

    I Am in great depression because of my mom and brother. I love them as anything else on this wordl.

    I was much possessive over him too once. But at certain cases because of a married lady ( let me call as X here ) in his office, clashes came over me and my brother. He called me as a Prost*** and told she is good gal and am the ***. After that i didn't involve over their matters. They both speak a lot and lot. He used to speak abt her daily in home praising her dressing nature and her advice. He does each and every thing that X tells him. She has a nice husband too who believes her a lot and also know my brother too. She is having a school going boy too.

    After i was called as *** i didnt involve in their matter. At first my mom was disliking her because of this attitude of my brother. We are seeing alliance for him and he is not showing any interest over the gals. But he tells X as we ( mom and myself ) not seeing bride for his marriage. Already my brother's office friends feels me as worst since i am taking the household responsibility after my dad's death. They criticized me telling my brother that " ur sis is going too much, not respecting u a.. bla bla.... " and my brother slowly moved away from me that time. I tried my level to be near him and was keen in getting a bride. Still its in process.

    Recently when i accidentally took his mobile, found him speaking to X by 9PM and after 11Pm even doing msges. I was shocked to see this conversation, X texted to my bro that she got appointment next day for doc and she got seat and settled. This was sent by 11.45PM. My bro was coming to home and he started from office by 10.45PM. They have spoke in phone from 11PM too. I was much shocked on seeing this. How come a married lady speaking late night and texting him like this. Wont her husband speak on her anything ? Wont her kid asks her anything.

    I got much anger and did a great mistake. Next day i msged X from my number asking dont u have sense, texting and speaking to a un married guy after 11PM. Wont ur husband ask u anything? R u a family gal. She didnt called me. She doesn't know its me. She simply called my bro nearly 4 times. Msged me " who is the genuine person speaking abt my family ? ". My bro attended her 4th call and spoke and found seriousness his voice. He was making her calm down there. I then realized that she is doing this only with my bro alone ( becos many unmarried guys are in my bro's office ). I revealed the truth to my bro and fought for this nonsense activity.

    My mom admitted that what i did was right , since she has to be kept far from him. ( She admitted only with me ). For that my bro told that they had a office issue and so they spoke like that. I was much confused that after 11PM, what kind of issue is there with him alone and why not she msg of that. Why did she text some thing else. I also was confused that, why no other gals or guys called my brother for the office issue and only she alone ? I fought and just left over admitting i wont pick his mobile at any cost.

    My mom went out with my bro and came back by night. Next day she fought with me like anything telling what i did was completely wrong. She directly asking me " what is for u , if they move like that ? why do u involve in their affairs? ". She also used same word *** and shouted and beat me like anything. after that i stopped speaking to my mom and brother.

    Yesterday i checked his mails ( i used to check his mail for all bills to be paid and so he gave his pwd ) and chats and found a hell of chats with her. Flirting over her and her dressing. And they are speaking like lovers and not as friends even. If she is ill or hurt , he is falling for her even if me and my mom are near. She too if she is hurt or ill she calls my bro alone and speaks to him. Why dont she call her husband when she is hurt. Updating her doctor result to my bro first. My bro does what ever she tells. I have asked my bro to change his company for good career nearly 100 times. But he haven't tried even. He tells he likes here only a lot. She is mailing him openings and asking him you try this you try that.

    I never seen my brother telling her to or asking her to tell abt her health to his husband when she calls him. She too calls my brother only first and tells that she is hurt there and here like that..

    If she is not there for lunch he is feeling like food is not digested too. He is falling on her legs like anything. In their chats i also noticed that they both are possessive on each other too. In one chat i found my brother telling her " yesterday by 9om malini called me.. ", for that she replied " i guessed that since ur number was busy. she didnt tell me at all today... ". In another chat my brother asking her " r u pet for satish ( their project manager ), others are telling me.. " and she replied him " hey no no am not... satish speaks to me as he moves with others.. nothing between us.. ".

    After this, am not able to speak to my brother or mom freely and started to hide my pains too which is due to my fiance. Please help me to come out of this. I dont know what is there between them and why do they do like this. Please......... I feel like dying. Please help me, how to get away from this depression.

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  2. #2
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Dec 2011

    Re: Depressed over my brother


    First of all, DON'T BE SO EMOTIONAL.

    This is not such a big issue that you should decide to die.

    How can your family people call you *** etc. and why your brother's friends are telling badly about you? Only for this you should be much more worried.

    After all it is every individual's wish to form their own life and no body have the right to poke into their matters.

    I feel very bad, in the way, you have poked into your brother's matter, like , checking his mobile, checking his chats etc. If it is your husband, the matter is different.

    These days, a lady who is in the same project may need to talk with her counterpart, even in late nights.

    But it matters, since you have found the proofs of their rubbish talks.

    OK.....coming to your concerns, you can do two things.

    First, you meet that lady x, alone , and ask her , in what way she is behaving with your brother, and leave him away by finding another job, since your brother has to get married and because of her friendship, he is not accepting any bride. Tell her that she too has a family and ask her not to spoil your family.

    If she is talking in a RELUCTANT way, the next step , you may take is, try to meet her husband and explain everything in a calm way.

    PLEASE DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL and it is not going to help you in any way.

    sumitra likes this.

  3. #3
    nlakshmi's Avatar
    nlakshmi is offline Minister's of Penmai
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    May 2011
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    Re: Depressed over my brother

    From your post it seems like you are possesive over your brother. since you are taking care of family, you think that you are considering yourself in your father position and indulging in your brother's action. There are a couple of points to be considered. First its your brother's life. As jayanthy says, now a days, when men and women work together as a team, they had to work late hours too until the problem gets solved. and Considering individual's nature like how they behave social and stuff, the bond between the co workers change. If your brother is having dirty thoughts, then he wouldn't have given you the password for his email, where he chats with the x. Atleast he would have used another account for all those private talks. Poking in to his email account,text messages, email all are not a appreciated actions. Ok you have said that how they behave is not looking good in public eyes.
    You dont have any right to talk about another women, her husband,her kid and her family.Dont jump into conclusion, how come a married women can talk late at night to some unmarried man and judge x character.

    how come you let your brother and mother call that P* word.
    He called me as a Prost*** and told she is good gal and am the ***.

    From your quote, when he compares you and the x then, that mean you said something bad about the x. May be he is furious that you said about a friend(may be their friendship is genuine) and got flipped. but at any case this is not a word to be heard from your brother and mother.You should be angry for that action from your family.

    If your mother thinks he is not doing any mistakes then why should you. Why is your mother beating you? Why is your brother's office friends, talking ill about you? You are poking too much in his life.

    If you really think you want your brother to get married, why cant you speak or befriend the x,and ask her to talk about the marriage. invite her family over for lunch and dinner. If your brother considers high of her friendship , then why dont you respect their friendship.

    Now a days, its really critical to handle friendship matters. There is a thin line between what you call friendship and illegal realtionship. It can be irritating if you have old age thoughts and loo through your naked eyes. Dont judge others from your point of view.

    if you find a chance, meet her and talk to her how you feel, how you are looking a bride for your brother,but dont use harsh words, character assasination words.

    sumitra likes this.

  4. #4
    jessicalife's Avatar
    jessicalife is offline Newbie
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    Dec 2012
    Edmonton, Alberta T5J 3G1

    Re: Depressed over my brother

    Well you need to handle these things with your mind rather than your heart. Try to talk with both of them separately and sort out the issues. Talking works in almost all the cases. Give a positive try.

    sumathisrini and sumitra like this.
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