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Maladies and the way to manage Mother in law

Discussions on "Maladies and the way to manage Mother in law" in "In-Laws" forum.

  1. #1
    vijigermany's Avatar
    vijigermany is offline Supreme Ruler's of Penmai
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    Jul 2011

    Maladies and the way to manage Mother in law

    Maladies and the way to manage Mother in law

    “Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.”
    Japanese Proverb

    “The mother-in-law frequently forgets that she was a daughter-in-law”

    I hardly know of anyone who didn't complain much about their mother in laws

    Mother-in-laws who are humble and accepting of their daughter-in-laws are a rare breed. Most of us do not belong to this fortunate group It becomes harder to deal with them when we have children

    Mother in law is a great Director who gives comments,tips in all fields of life and knows how to make us mad.

    she is a living Encyclopedia

    our maladies

    About herdelf

    1. I've got his number.

    When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don’t call your house. I call his cell phone.

    2. I know he's your husband now.

    But he’s still my son.

    3. It hurts to be downsized.

    I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role.

    4. You don't seem very confident about yourself.

    The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I’m very careful what I say around you.

    5. A little gratitude wouldn't hurt.

    Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year,
    I said, “That’s it. No more.” Yet look at me: I’m about to send another present. I guess that’s how I am.

    6.I know a little something.

    I’ve brought up 2 sons in my life. Why won’t you ask for my advice?

    7. I want the best for both of us.

    We mothers say to our children, “I want you to be happy.” And we mean that. What we don’t say is, “But I would like to be happy too.”

    8.When I visit you, I'm just coming to see the family.

    I’m not coming for a white-glove inspection.”

    9 .I'm truly appreciative.

    I’m so happy that you allow my son—your husband—to visit me . It’s a long trip and a big expense.

    10. I'm lucky to have you!

    Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things.

    11- You know me well.

    I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: “Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.”

    comments on our Parenting

    1. Be her parent, not just her friend.

    2. Do you really think she needs to play chess, study violin, volunteer in a homeless shelter before she starts kindergarten?

    3.computer? Webcams? Videos? Can't I just see the kid in person once in a while?

    4. Just in case you’re wondering, discipline is not a dirty word.

    5. I respect your parenting style, but why so many languages at a time?

    6. Why are you asking her? she is not even 3

    comments On the Family

    1. Hello! yourr parents aren’t the only grandparents in this family.

    2. Yoo-hoo! I know you’re busy, but please keep me busy too

    3. Let me see the kid more often. No matter how great a parent you are, you can’t take the place of a grandparent.

    4. I love you — so let's not talk about politics or religion or poems

    5. If you are stressed or angry ,cry,shout,quarell or break something,why to manage any feeling, are you mad?

    6. Stop smiling always.are you laughing budda?

    so how to manage your mother in law without an uneasy feeling on both the sides?

    some easy ways to practice

    1. Smile when you see your mother in law. She won't know how you are feeling and won't know how to decipher your facial expression.

    2. Always maintain an open and honest approach. Refrain from 'making' things up just so you don't have to engage in conversation. She will interpret this as you being 'comfortable' in the relationship

    3, Refrain from becoming angry and upset. It's probably exactly what she wants so she can say..."I told you so" to others.

    4. Hold you head high and maintain your integrity. If she upsets you, or says anything degrading, simply advise her that she is entitled to her opinion and do not retaliate. Remember, most people do this to get a reaction.

    5.If you happen to have a mother in law who knows 'best', and wants you to do everything her way,
    simply thank her for her advice/assistance and advise her that you and your partner have made the decision to do whatever it is together. Give her the appearance that you and your partner stand together on a united front.

    6 .Never speak ill of your mother in law to others that know her, or may likely speak with her. Let's face it, people naturally love to gossip,

    7. Develop good relationships with the extended family such as sister or brother in laws, father in law and aunt and uncle etc. If everyone else can get to know you and learn to like you, chances are they will pressure the
    mother in law to do the same

    8 , Do something nice for your mother in law. take her to a big supermarket and allow her to choose her likings

    9. Ask your betterhalf to spend lot of time with his mother

    10. Maintain your ground and respond respectfully but assertively. It's unfortunate but there are adults out there who enjoy to bully and sometimes it pays to come across as strong and assertive. She will quickly learn that you are not to be messed with.

    11.Take her to your office and show your responsibilities and work burdens there. Expöain her, what you need at home is peace of mind and nothing else.

    12.It is important for us to be as independent from our mother-in-laws as possible.

    13. Set limitation.even in parenting.,

    14.Make her conscious of her jealouay.her son ,your man both of you are two important equal roles.in his life.

    15. manage family gatherings in a way where you don't have to interact with her. There may come a time where she realised what's important and may start to make an effort

    I think we should stop dreaming that we will one day have a perfect mother-daughter relationship with our mother-in-laws, because it rarely happens. We come from different backgrounds, values and beliefs and it is
    very difficult to expect two women who didn't choose to be together (well, you married your husband, not your mother-in-law)
    to gel together. If your difficult mother-in-law cannot respect you as a person, then keeping a safe distance from her is the most practical remedy.

    Best wishes,

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    Kavibhanu and Prabha RK like this.

  2. #2
    natpudan's Avatar
    natpudan is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Aug 2011

    Re: Maladies and the way to manage Mother in law

    A good one Viji.

    If we manage to handle the maladies in relationships then life is full of melodies....

    Prabha RK likes this.
    நட்புடன் - வெங்கட்

  3. #3
    vijigermany's Avatar
    vijigermany is offline Supreme Ruler's of Penmai
    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Re: Maladies and the way to manage Mother in law

    Hallo venkat,

    Thanks , I hope you already started to hear meöodies in your relationship.



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