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தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?


Discussions on "தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?" in "In-Laws" forum.


  1. #1
    Parasakthi's Avatar
    Parasakthi is offline Super Moderator Ruler's of Penmai
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  2. #2
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    Nuclear family is best....bcos am suffering a lot in Joint family


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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    The answer is very delicate one. But whether the family is Joint or single that doesn't matter. What are the attitudes of the family members is very important. Moreover, our senior generation people also one of the main reasons for the destruction of our joint family system.

    Very sorry to say this, as my personal experience, 99% of our senior citizens have a common characteristic like rigidness, useless superiority complex, teaching new things in a harsh manner, often spot the mistakes not in a soft manner instead wounding us so that the younger generation get the tit for tot attitude.


    Especially in feminine genders, neither mother in laws nor sister in laws willfully hurt the new incomer. As a new one like a new born child all of the sudden how can u expect perfectness. Even as your own family are you very flexible with others? Certainly not. Then ....

    One more thing also. They still never come to the present mechanical life. They only think and telling about their period. Openly telling I am a Single with my only brother's family. Often I squirrel with my mother about the above said things. When they think about their own daughters they spot out many mistakes from their sambandhi's family. But into your own family? I request everybody who are the in laws either genders behave your Manni or Uncle as a friend. Try to help them in every matters. Because now a days expect carrying all other things are very common to both genders. Then why u still the superiority complex as I am a Male etc.,

    I request the famines too, Please try to adjust for a while.

    THE BEST SOLUTION EITHER TYPES THE MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING. AS A UNKNOWN FELLOWS INTO OUR OFFICE WE SWALLOW MANY THINGS EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT RESPONSE THOSE THINGS; THEN WHY WE TAKE IT EASY INTO OUR FAMILY MEMBERS? DEAR SENIORS PLEASE TRY TO CONVEY YOUR THOUGHTS IN A FRIENDLY MANNER AND THE JUNIORS TRY TO ACCEPT OR IF YOU ARE NOT LIKE THAT FOR THE SAKE OF THE AGE WHY YOU KEEP SILENCE OR ACCEPT FOR A WHILE. YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE FIRST CONVINCE THEM AND THEREAFTER WHEN YOU TELL THEY WILL SURELY LISTEN. WISHES YOU ALL THE BEST. LOST BUT NOT LEAST, UNFORTUNATELY THE MEN WHO ARE WILLING TO KEEP HER BETTER HALF GIVE HIM A HAPPY LIFE AND GET INTO A FAMILY LIFE WITH HER GOT BITTER EXPERIENCE DUE TO HER BETTER HALF IS REALLY A BITTER HALF AND VICE-VERSE.

    Last edited by Parasakthi; 22nd Sep 2011 at 01:21 PM. Reason: for easy reading

  4. #4
    Amrutapam is offline Newbie
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    If
    a. Mother-in-Law(MIL) and Daughter-in-Law(DIL) have proper understanding
    b.They do not hurt each other and respect each other's views
    c. MIL allows freedom to DIL
    d. MIL accepts privacy of DIL
    e. They support each other and do not talk ill of each other to others
    f. There is sufficient space in the house
    g. There is no financial problem
    h. They appreciate each other
    i. MIL treats DIL's family with respect
    Joint family is best. this works for us. MIL and DIL work and there is domestic help available for cleaning, cooking etc. This works for us very well. We are in Mumbai and staying together for the past five years

    Parasakthi and girija chandru like this.

  5. #5
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    Nowadays both husband & wife do job in most of the families. So sometimes it may happen that they get less time to look after old people but it doesn't happen always.Sometimes old people may feel neglected.

    There are advantages & disadvantages of joint as well as nuclear families.In a joint family-one always gets guidance from elderly.They are more experienced.They can take care of grandchildren in a proper way rather than depending on a maid.

    There will always be a generation gap & youngsters will not always agree with what old people say.So there can be discrepancies sometime.Opinions may vary & this can cause "hot environment " in joint families.

    Advantages of a nuclear family are


    1)Couple gets privacy
    2)Only 2 people take decision so the things happen smoothly

    Disadvantages of a nuclear family are

    1) No guidance from seniors
    2)Children may get neglected sometimes

    I have seen some old age homes which are well managed & elderly are looked after well.So in some situations,it is justified to keep old people in old age homes & this doesn't always mean 'thrown away parents to old age homes'. Compare this situation - busy couples keep their children in creche for a few hours a day.This doesn't mean that they don't care & love their children.This is just a temporary solution to a proble.

    I also support staying in a joint family with grandparents,children. But staying with uncles,aunt & their children is difficult nowadays. All these members should be earning & financially independent to avoid financial disputes.

    Regards,
    Sumathi Srini




    Parasakthi and girija chandru like this.

  6. #6
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    Those who are in nuclear family iwll adore joint family and vice-versa.
    I opine that it really depends on individuals.

    When there is sharing, mutual understanding, love and affection, definitely, joint family is best.

    When the essential qualities are lacking..... And, always when one should sacrifice for others, and otheres will not reciprocate, then.... Nuclear family is the best...!!

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  7. #7
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    hi Sakthi,

    Neenga kettirukkara topic rombave criticalaanadhu... podhuva oru answer thara mudiyadhadhu...ovvoru family, angulla members, characters poruthu maarumpa....namma friends sonna ella karuthukalume yerka koodiyavaye...

    Ganesan sir sonnadhil enakku pidithadhu:


    DEAR SENIORS PLEASE TRY TO CONVEY YOUR THOUGHTS IN A FRIENDLY MANNER AND THE JUNIORS TRY TO ACCEPT OR IF YOU ARE NOT LIKE THAT FOR THE SAKE OF THE AGE WHY YOU KEEP SILENCE OR ACCEPT FOR A WHILE. YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE FIRST CONVINCE THEM AND THEREAFTER WHEN YOU TELL THEY WILL SURELY LISTEN.

    sumathi sonnadhil,

    Advantages of a nuclear family are

    1)Couple gets privacy
    2)Only 2 people take decision so the things happen smoothly

    Disadvantages of a nuclear family are

    1) No guidance from seniors
    2)Children may get neglected sometimes


    enakku pidithadhu.

    mudindhavarai vittu koduthu ponaal joint familyil irukkalaam... aanaal vittu koduppadhum, anbu seluthuvadhum oru pakkamaaga mattum illamal, iru pakkamum iruppadhu nalladhu endru ninaikiren....

    mukkiyamaaga husbands oru pakkamaai jaalra thattaamal, escape aaga try pannaamal siru virisalai kooda sari seidhu vaalvai sandhosam aakkalaam...manaiviyayum, thaayayum vasiyapaduthum thiramai ullavargal avargale enbadhu en karutthu....


    Anitha.


    ANITHA.SANKAR

    Dont think how many moments in your life;
    Just think how much life is there in a moment.

  8. #8
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    well said ani... husbands ithula mediate panna pirchanaiye varaathu... atha vittutu ladiesa modavittutu.. appuram veetla ladiesnaala thaan pirchanainu.. podhuva solidurathu...

    Parasakthi and anitha.sankar like this.

  9. #9
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    Quote Originally Posted by girija chandru View Post
    Those who are in nuclear family iwll adore joint family and vice-versa.
    I opine that it really depends on individuals.

    When there is sharing, mutual understanding, love and affection, definitely, joint family is best.

    When the essential qualities are lacking..... And, always when one should sacrifice for others, and otheres will not reciprocate, then.... Nuclear family is the best...!!
    rhomba correct ah solli irukeenga sagippu thanmayum vittu kodukkara panamanmai konjam adhigama irundha join familya iruka mudiyum otherwise nuclear family is the best......

    Parasakthi and fatima15 like this.
    "This too will pass away"
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  10. #10
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    Re: தனி குடும்பமா? கூட்டு குடும்பமா?

    indru thani kudumbangal athigam uruvaga karanam ovovru manithanum avar avar asaigalukkum,thani karuthukkalukum matum mukiathuvam alipathal enbathu en karuthu.kootu kudubathil prachanaikal sila irunthalum alavila santhosam valangum pokkisam.so ennoda vote kootu kudumbathirke..
    according to me joint family is a treasure which gives good and practical thoughts and attitudes to children.Also,joint family guides the adult when they are in confusion and give solutions to their problem immediately.
    many of the children are lack of adjustment and adaptation.This is due to nuclear family.
    I am not opposing nuclear family only when there is true need i.e. jobs are in different places like that.Then there is no other go.
    But we have to take part in each and every important occasions of our family without fail and actively take part in the work.This is our culture.

    Parasakthi likes this.
    முயற்சி திருவினையாக்கும் முயற்சி இன்மை
    இன்மை புகுத்தி விடும்

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