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how to avoid my sister in-laws?


Discussions on "how to avoid my sister in-laws?" in "In-Laws" forum.


  1. #1
    maryr is offline Newbie
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    how to avoid my sister in-laws?

    my sister inlaws (one is elder and one is younger) are always causing problem in our life. how to avoid them. whenever they are coming to our home they are making us to spend a lot for them. whenever they are going fro our home we need to buy and give them silk saree. if cost gets low about rs.5000 then they are thinking it as cheap and not respecting us. atleast they come to our house thrice in a year. so nearly speding 30k for them alone and then for their kids its coming nearly 50k per year. once in a year is ok for us.. but whenever coming means it is quite annoying for me. tell us how to avoid this situation and make them understandable.

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  2. #2
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    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Re: how to avoid my sister in-laws?

    Welcome to Penmai Mary.

    This kind of behavior by your SILs cannot be accepted and will really annoy you.

    Try the below methods.

    Since now, after visiting to your place, so many times, they may be familiar with all the area of shopping, where they shop.

    So, when they visit you again, you ask them to go alone for most of the shopping, the places, where they will make you spend more, for them.

    You can take excuses, in the pretext of some important works or any bad health condition. You can arrange any vehicle for them to visit there.

    You can tell them, that they are now very familiar with those places, and they don't need your assistance.

    By following this, you can avoid major amount of spending for their purchases.

    You need not avoid to go with them, to all the places. Buy very little things for them.

    And coming to your purchase of silk saree for more than 5K.

    Just ignore their comments. Buy them , whatever you can. You can gift them sarees or dresses worth 1K or lesser than that. Just don't bother about whatever they tell.

    If they comment, you can directly tell them that "whatever is possible for us, we are giving as gifts. We are showing our full affection to you. and that is priceless. We are very eager with your visits and let's be friendly and spend happy moments"

    There is nothing wrong in replying back like this, if they pass on worthless comments on you.

    Once you do this, they will stop expecting any kind of gift from you.

    But be talking with them over phone, very often, so that your relationship will not be broken. Also invite them once or twice, so that they will not have a bad opinion about you.

    If again, they pass worthless comments like" why should we come there.....you are not gifting us any worthy items" etc., you can again tell them, the above dialogue, which I have mentioned.

    Try this and tell us.


    Jayanthy





  3. #3
    maryr is offline Newbie
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    Re: how to avoid my sister in-laws?

    jayanthy sister thanks much for your valuable reply and tips.

    we are in this position to follow your advise but even my mil is not understanding our position that is my very main problem. she knows all our financial position but still she is not saying any word to them. she is indirectly encouraging her daughters.

    we have a very big commitments like owning a home, providing good education to our kids etc. we almost stopped in purchasing for us and even for kids.

    they are again coming here next week for summer holidays. thanks for yoru kind reply sister. i try with both your idea this time.

    jv_66, datchu and ashsuma like this.

  4. #4
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    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Re: how to avoid my sister in-laws?

    Quote Originally Posted by maryr View Post
    jayanthy sister thanks much for your valuable reply and tips.

    we are in this position to follow your advise but even my mil is not understanding our position that is my very main problem. she knows all our financial position but still she is not saying any word to them. she is indirectly encouraging her daughters.

    we have a very big commitments like owning a home, providing good education to our kids etc. we almost stopped in purchasing for us and even for kids.

    they are again coming here next week for summer holidays. thanks for yoru kind reply sister. i try with both your idea this time.


    Welcome Mary.....as I said earlier, just ignore the comments of your MIL also.

    Most of the MIL s may support their daughters' wishes only. They may think that, their son (or brother) should do as much as possible only for them, as he was doing earlier before his marriage and may sometimes feel jealous of him (or you)since he is taking much more care for you people than them.

    They may forget, that after marriage, their brother or son has to take more care towards his own family, and that they have their own family where their husbands will take care of them.

    If you have so many commitments,Just give them gifts worth Rs. 500. Don't ever bother about their comments. And in due course, they will get used to this.

    These are quite common in many families and we got to adjust by just not opening our mouth but at the same time do it in action.


    Last edited by jv_66; 19th Apr 2014 at 08:05 PM.
    datchu, premabarani and ashsuma like this.
    Jayanthy





  5. #5
    premabarani's Avatar
    premabarani is offline Commander's of Penmai
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    Re: how to avoid my sister in-laws?

    Hi Jeyanthi
    Your advice is very very practical & easy to follow without harming anyone.
    Prema Barani

    jv_66, datchu and ashsuma like this.
    Prema Barani

  6. #6
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Re: how to avoid my sister in-laws?

    Quote Originally Posted by premabarani View Post
    Hi Jeyanthi
    Your advice is very very practical & easy to follow without harming anyone.
    Prema Barani

    Thanks for your compliments Prema.

    Jayanthy





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