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Tips to maintain good relations with MIL


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  1. #1
    jv_66's Avatar
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    Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    Once you get engaged for your marriage, many of your friends and relatives may be cautioning you about the main person to be adjusted in your in-laws’ house is the MIL.

    All of them may portray her as a demon or witch.

    Some parents seek an alliance where the MIL is not surviving, so that their daughter would be relieved from her tortures, as they presume.

    But , all the MILs are not like this.

    Do not get frightened even before your marriage about facing your MIL.

    You can very well win over her(and also yours) thoughts and fears (she will also have, about you), and maintain a cordial relationship with your MIL.The one and only Mantra is the
    Adjustment.

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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    Here are some tips to maintain a good relationship with your MIL.
    • First of all, you should make up your mind for any situation to come, after your marriage. You should be ready to face with courage, whatever may be the situation.
    • This will surely give a mental strength.
    • Even if you feel frghtened by the earlier talks of your friends and relatives about your MIL, you should tell yourself, that you will never show any hatred towards her.
    • These attitudes will surely help you to handle the situation promptly, once you enter into your in-law’s house.
    • Whatever the practice may be according to your customs, you can call her as “Amma” and your FIL as “Appa”.
    • Tell them, that you like to call them as above, so that you will feel the intimacy.
    • Immediately by this activity of yours, they would have been flattened.

    • Now the situation may be of two different conditions, after your marriage. One is , you will be staying with your husband along with your in-laws , in the same house. Or, after few days, you may be shifting alone with your husband to his workplace.


    . In the second case, your adjustments are limited only to a certain period. Whereas, in the first case, you need to adjust totally, if it requires


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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    • Nowadays, even before marriage, the inlaws are in touch with the Bride, then and there. Now, during this period, you should not talk much and talk only till the limit.Always be smiling in front of them and never talk or laugh loudly in public places. This will create a bad impression about you.
    • You may be talking to your fiancee , daily. Once in a while, talk with care ,to your MIL also and build a good opinion about you.
    • Do not blabber about all your likes and dislikes to her, even before your marriage.
    • Now, after marriage, once you enter into your inlaws’ house, the immediate thing you should do is, fall in the feet of the elders, especially your FIL & MIL.
    • Then , act according to the words of your MIL.
    • From the next day, try to wake up early in the morning and go straight away to the Kitchen.
    • Ask her, in which way to help in the kitchen works.
    • Do not boast about your cooking or any other talents right from the beginning.
    • Even if you are good at cooking, the eating taste may differ from family to family.
    • So, initially, help her only in the minor works in the kitchen, like cutting vegetables, preparing coffee and serving to all the members, if necessary, cleaning the vessels, etc.
    • Even if the kitchen or the whole house is in mess, do not open your mouth about it.
    • Ask her about the tastes of the family and the likes and dislikes of each and every person, related to cooking.
    • Tell her, that you will learn from her to cook, as she has a very wide experience. This will surely please her.
    • She may be cooking in a traditional and olden method. Never tease her for this.
    • If she asks you to prepare some latest dishes, you may prepare. Or else, wait for few months to show your talents.
    • She will also have a fear about you, that you might capture the highest position of hers(like kitchen queen or in maintaining the house) which she is handling at present.


    So, initially for each and every preparation in cooking or in changing any upholstery or in buying any new product, consult her first and then proceed.You should make her feel that she is the final person who will decide things


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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    • Now, you will gain her confidence, that you will not overtake her in any way. And she herself will start asking for your suggestions.
    • From the beginning itself, you should be gifting her now and then with the products of her choice. You can enquire about her likes and dislikes in all the areas.
    • You can make a note of the birthdays and anniversaries of all the members of the house from her and present them surprise gifts. This will make her happy, that you are very much attached to the whole family.
    • If she does not like you to wear modern dresses like Jeans, T-shirts etc., either you can avoid wearing them in front of her or if it is necessary for your workplace, then you can explain her about the necessity. You can assure her, that you will dress according to the situations and the places you visit.
    • If ever , she happens to pass on any harsh words on you, never react of back answer her immediately.
    • As late as possible, if you feel that she is not correct , you can politely explain her or leave it as it is. She herself may realize later. Even if she is not asking any sorry for that, you should not mind it, because, she might think that her ego would be affected by that act.
    • Even to your neighbors and other relatives of your husband, always praise her and never gossip about her. This will create a good opinion about her.
    • Never sit idle, while she is working at home. Always be helping her and ask her to take rest, and that you will continue that work.
    • Show interest to know the details about the relatives of your husband.
    • If your husband is at home, don’t be always around him or very close to him, in front of your inlaws.This will irritate them.
    • Show all the products mainly dresses, which you buy, to your MIL. If you have a SIL of your age or younger, buy something or other, while you buy for yourself. This will please your MIL.


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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    • If you are working, keep all the foods prepared in the morning itself before you leave and keep them either in the flask or hot packs accordingly.
    • Even after coming back from work, you should help her in the household works.
    • As far as possible, try to take off, whenever there is any function at home or on any other occasions. These are the main reasons, why the MILs frown on you.
    • Even if she is backbiting about you, to others, you just ignore it and never reciprocate.Always talk in praise of her to everyone. This will make her realize her mistake.
    • As far as possible, do not talk much about your house people. Talking about them always, will surely irritate everyone including your husband.
    • Take care of their health. If necessary, take them often for the check-ups.
    • You can remind her of the medicines to be taken . Ensure about her timely taken food and medicines.
    • If she is visiting your place, (in case you are staying away from her), make her feel at home. Take her to various places and gift her.
    • In this case, you can talk to her daily over phone. If you are abroad, you can talk atleast once in a week.
    • Altogether, if you think her also a mother of yours, there will be no hiccups between you and her. Even if she is not ready to think you as her daughter, you think her as your mother and serve her. One day or the other, she will certainly realize and show her full affection towards you.
    • Adjust totally to your inlaws’ environment and act accordingly.
    • If you win your MIL's heart, you will all the other's heart very easily.


    Jayanthy



  6. #6
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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    Very useful & needy tips to maintain good relationship with MIL, thanks Jayanthy.

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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    Quote Originally Posted by sumathisrini View Post
    Very useful & needy tips to maintain good relationship with MIL, thanks Jayanthy.
    Welcome Sumathi

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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    Hai jay sis, mil ah amma nu kupdurathu very nice point, enaku erkanave intha idea irunthuthu, athavathu , mil ah amma nu kupdanum, its a very valuable point.
    Ella tipsum romba nalla iruku and very useful too.thanks for sharing..

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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    Quote Originally Posted by honey rose View Post
    Hai jay sis, mil ah amma nu kupdurathu very nice point, enaku erkanave intha idea irunthuthu, athavathu , mil ah amma nu kupdanum, its a very valuable point.
    Ella tipsum romba nalla iruku and very useful too.thanks for sharing..
    Thanks and welcome Divya.

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    Re: Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    Hi Friends,

    Nan indha site ku pudhusu.


    Please suggest me onething. En mother-in-law dhideernu sambandhame illama yaar melayo ulla kovatha en mela kaatuna nan epadi react panradhu?

    Last edited by SaranyaVimalraj; 17th Oct 2014 at 03:37 AM.
    jv_66 likes this.

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