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Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL


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  1. #1
    jv_66's Avatar
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    Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    Once your Son gets married, now you would enter into a new Phase of your life and that is your new Avtar as the Mother In Law.

    This may seem to be a delicate job, but will surely be an easy one when it is handled smartly by you. The foremost thought which you should make up your mind is, the DIL is your another child and must take care and treat her
    as your own daughter.

    Lets see, few tips to handle your new position wisely.


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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    Even before the marriage of your son, you can start talking to your would be DIL. But let this not be an elaborate one.

    While selecting the necessary jewels and dresses for her marriage, you may give importance for her wishes.

    The above activities will create a good impression on you.

    As the D-day nears for your DIL to enter into your family, you also might have a little fear about the future cordial relationship with her.

    Wipe off this, atleast from your face, and show yourself cool.

    Once she enters into your house, you can hug her and say that “ I think you, only as my daughter. You may also think me as your another mother. Let us both help each other to maintain a Harmonious family.” These words
    should come from your heart.

    On the 1st day of her entry, ask her to take rest. You may introduce all the family members to her and say that she will be acquainted with everyone in due course.

    Continues......


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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    From the next day, when she enters the kitchen, initially, ask her to watch the happenings in the Kitchen and she may be asked to help you in small things.

    Enquire her whether she knows cooking. If she knows, initially ask her to cook once in a day. Tell her that after she gets accustomed to everyone’s taste and liking, all of you will be very eager to taste her cooking in full swing. Help her to know everyone’s taste.

    If she is not at all familiar in cooking, or in any other household activities, never scold her or tease her for her ignorance. She is like a fresh clay in your hand. You can mould her accordingly. And remember not to tease her in front of anyone.

    Encourage her to cook according to her wish and the whole family may need a change. If your family members praises her cooking , never become jealous of it. After all , they need some different taste.

    Encourage her special talents if any.

    If she is going for the Job, let her cook in the morning along with your mild help. In the evening, while she returns, welcome her with a cup of coffee which would please her. If necessary, you may cook in the night.


    Continues.......


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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    You should always remember that your generation as a DIL is entirely different from her generation. Hence you should never force her to follow all the Traditions and Customs of the family which already exists , if she is not interested in them. At the same time, if she is interested to follow them, help her to know all the details.

    Do not interfere in her way of dressing or the type of dresses she wears. If she finds difficult to discriminate the dresses on the basis of various Occasions, you may explain her.

    Never interfere in the personal matters of your Son and DIL.

    When they wish to spend their weekends through outings, allow them wholeheartedly.

    You should learn to maintain a distance from your Son, as he has to share his priority Love and Affection to his Wife. Till now, you have enjoyed his affection solely, and now it is the turn for his Wife and Children.

    Never use harsh words towards her, at any time. Only through Love and Affection, you can teach her to change her habits and attitude, if necessary.

    Never talk ill about her , among your relatives, even if they are very close to you, and also to your neighbours.

    If you are not satisfied with any of her character, you may share it only to your husband and your daughter, who could understand but not reveal to others.


    Continues.......


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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    Give respect to her Parents and other family members of hers.

    Never demand any money, jewelry, or any other things from her family.

    Even if any of your relative talks ill or makes fun of the things brought by her during the marriage or subsequently, please do not encourage their talks and immediately control them, that nothing is necessary from her house, as your Son will be able to fulfill all her needs.

    During her Pregnancy, help her as much as you can.

    Do not insist old customary during pregnancy and in the upbringing of the child, if she is not interested in them. Tell her once or twice, and if you find it ignored, just leave it.

    If she is not able to Conceive early, never blame her. Remember that Your son is also responsible for the situation. Think her in your daughter’s position and act accordingly. Give them encouragement and act patiently.


    Continues......


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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    Now, with your Grand children, again you should maintain a distance. Your DIL should have the full authority over them and it is your duty just to help her through activities and mild advices as an elder of the family. If you find your advices ignored, never repeat it. The youngsters will learn it through trial and error.

    If your DIL wants to handle the financial position of the whole family, (this could be understood by you from her activities), just handover it to her willingly without hesitation. On the other hand, you ( you and your husband) can be financially independent , either with the help of the income you may get or talk to your son to provide money separately to you both, for your needs.

    If suppose, your DIL wants to stay away from you and your husband, allow them willingly. Let them visit you on the weekends and on all functions & festivals.

    Never create a Scene or Drama over the above two issues. You should make up your mind to overcome these situations and thus, your mind will be free of tension.

    . This may sound harsh, but it is today's reality. If you are staying in your Son's house, and if your DIL happen to dislike your presence with them, immediately you can
    willingly stay in the Elder care homes. There are many such homes where utmost care is given for paid services. Or, there are separate cottages for the elder couples where you can stay separately and all the services will be provided at your door steps. Your Children can visit you often.


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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    When you follow all the above, you will be the best MIL for your DIL and both your relationship will be well built.


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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    Very good suggestion Jayanthy, if everyone follow it, there will not be misunderstanding & troubles in our life. Thanks much for sharing these advise here.

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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    Quote Originally Posted by sumathisrini View Post
    Very good suggestion Jayanthy, if everyone follow it, there will not be misunderstanding & troubles in our life. Thanks much for sharing these advise here.


    Thanks and welcome Sumathi.

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    Re: Tips for MILs to maintain good relationship with DIL

    Hi Jeyanthy,

    Very nice tips.

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