Discussions on "In-laws problem" in "In-Laws" forum.
26th Oct 2014, 02:35 PM #1
I just need reassurance whether what I did is correct.
I am pregnant 5 months with my second child and my first son is 21 months old. I was residing in USA.
My father's health was critical and my mom and brother wanted me to come to India(Kovilpatti, TamilNadu) to see him as he was asking for me. I was confused whether to travel while pregnant and with my child. My in-laws didnt want me to travel. Finally, I took the chance and saw my father. The next day after seeing me and my son, my father passed away.
When my father was not well, my in-laws saw him. But after he died, they never came to my hometown. They are in Chennai. They say that my mother-in-law has back pain and as this was diwali week, they couldnt get tickets and cant travel now and cant come even for my father's death. Its almost a week now. Still they havent come. All my relatives were talking bad abt this. I usually support my in-laws side. But I am upset abt this behavior. I had lots of fight abt this with my husband who is in US. He asked his parents over phone abt this. They say they will come for 16th day ceremony bcos I asked them to. In fact, I told them to come now and again for 16th day. I am still in Kovilpatti with my mom who is alone. They asked me to come to Chennai so that they can see their grand-son.
Is it bad in my part to be upset and fighting with my husband abt my in-law's behaviour? I feel they are very selfish and think only abt their son, grand-son and their daughter-in-law. They dont care abt their daughter-in-law's family. Just I have to become their family and forget my birth family. Is this normal expectation? Am I doing anything wrong?
Thanks in advance friends.
27th Oct 2014, 11:34 AM #2
Re: In-laws problem
Sorry for the loss of your Father. It will be really unbearable for you and your family to loose him.
Yes....many in-laws are like this only. Nothing can be done with them.
Atleast your FIL could have come for the death, if your MIL was unable to come.
You have the same feeling which each and every DIL will have in this situation. So, nothing wrong about your feelings and expressing them to your husband.
Leave this matter as it is. Please do not create any scene when you meet your in-laws.
May be, they might realise their mistake when many relatives ask them when they attend for the 16th day.
Now don't stress yourself on these thoughts during your pregnancy.
I shall pray for your good health and safe delivery and for the welfare of your mom's family.
உங்கள் குழந்தைகளைக் கண்காணியுங்கள்
28th Oct 2014, 11:24 PM #3
Re: In-laws problem
Thanks Akka for the assurance.