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Dominant MIL


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  1. #1
    shrikutty is offline Newbie
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    Dominant MIL

    Hi dears

    I am married for 4 years. my married life going very hectic from the beginning. My mil is very dominant and what she says should be done in home. She don't listen no one's suggestions. Every decision should be taken by her only. I was working for first 2 years after marriage. I left my job during my pregnancy. Now my daughter is 2 years old. I can't live the whole day with my mil. She is ordering me throughout the day. my husband also adviced me only to adjust with his mother.

    There was a big problem with me and her before 3 months and i gone to my mom's house. After some days my husband brought me and my daughter here. Nowadays my mil is doing too much. Over reacting. I stopped talking with her. But she indirectly hurts me with her words. She talks bad about my daughter too. I am really fed-up on quarreling with her daily. I need permanent solution for this problem. what is the solution for my problem.

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  2. #2
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Jayanthy
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    Re: Dominant MIL

    Welcome to Penmai....friend.

    Please do not worry.

    Many MILs are like this dominant characters only. Nothing could be done to change them. They themselves should realize and change .

    Now, since your daughter is 2 years old, you can find a new suitable job for you.

    You can select a job with lineant timings and not of a tension filled job.

    Just inform your husband about this decision and tell him that going to job is used to you and now you find it very difficult without going for job.

    Since he also knows about your friction with your MIL, he would understand. You may plead for his support in this matter.

    Even if your MIL shouts at you and objects to go for the job, you just tell that you feel satisfied just by going for the job as you are very much used to it and now your husband can also support your statement.

    If she is ready to look after your child, then you may leave the child to her.

    Or if your parents are nearby either to your house or to your office (where you find the job), you can leave the child there and go to office.

    Or you can appoint one care taker or nanny in your house to look after the child only. Since your MIL is at home, the nanny may not misuse the situation and look after your child very well.

    Or, you can leave the child in any Creche nearby your office. Later, when she is put in school, you can make arrangement with the school vehicle to leave the child in the creche.

    Thus, most of the time, you will be away from your MIL. The balance time you are with her , please never back answer her or show your frustration or irritation in front of her.

    Cook everything in the morning before leaving for office. And for night dinner also, you can contribute a lot. Thus not allowing her to strain much. She might grumble, if she has to do many works , may be due to her older age.

    Other than this job matter, you can oblige to all her wishes. This will make her happy.

    If your mother is of this kind, will you not adjust her? Similarly, think your MIL as your another mother and now you will feel everything easier to handle. Only thing is , you can shout back at your mother whereas, this cannot be done with your MIL.

    Please her with many gifts then and there. Take her to few places of her choice both with yourself and along with your husband.

    The main word which you should follow throughout your married life will be Adjustment and nothing else. This will do magics in life.


    Please click the below links which may help you more.

    Tips to maintain good relations with MIL

    How to run Smooth family

    Jayanthy





  3. #3
    shrikutty is offline Newbie
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    Re: Dominant MIL

    thank you. i already asked my husband to go for job. but he don't want me to go for job. my mil also can not go around my daughter. she is very naughty and adventures. my parents are also living in totally different place from my place. pls tell me any other solutions without going job. we don't want our daughter to put in creche or with nanny like that.

    jv_66 likes this.

  4. #4
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Re: Dominant MIL

    Quote Originally Posted by shrikutty View Post
    thank you. i already asked my husband to go for job. but he don't want me to go for job. my mil also can not go around my daughter. she is very naughty and adventures. my parents are also living in totally different place from my place. pls tell me any other solutions without going job. we don't want our daughter to put in creche or with nanny like that.
    OK Shri kutty.

    As far as I know, the final solution is nothing else than Adjustment with your MIL.

    Just ignore all her unbearable comments.

    Try to put yourself in her shoes and notice the day to day happenings. Then you may sometimes find them correct.

    So, finally, only adjustment could help.

    Jayanthy





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