Be a graceful break-up artist

If your relationship is going nowhere, here are tips for calling it off like a gentleman

Breaking up with your partner is never easy, even if you are the one initiating it. However, rather than dragging your feet in a dead end relationship, the right thing to do is to be a gentleman and be upfront about it. If handled in a sensitive manner, the damage can be minimised. After all, your girlfriend may not be the 'one', but that's no excuse to be a jerk and waltz off without any sense of responsibility.

Here are a few tips on handling the break-up talk with care:

1 Don't drag it out
Break-ups are hard on both partners, but the longer you drag it out the chances of ending the relationship on a bitter note increase. It doesn't mean you rush into the talk before giving your relationship a chance. But if you've made up your mind, do not continue the relationship. It leads your girlfriend on to believe that there is a future there. Remember she has closed her options for you. The hurt is proportionate to the attachment and she will not react very well for having wasted her time.

2 Pick the ight time and place
When you do decide to call it quits, don't just think about your convenience. Pick a time and place that is sensitive to the other person. The holidays, happy occasions for your partner, etc are not a good time to do it. Don't break up in a public place. When emotionally charged, you could end up creating a scene.

3 Give the person a sense of closure
When break-ups are mutual, and admittedly that is rare, both parties are ready for the split. But if it is going to come as a shock to her, it can almost feel like a physical blow. To ease your guilt, you may just skip the explanations and cut off from her. Closure is not optional, if you are going to do the right thing. So never break up over the phone, text messages or social networking sites. It's very convenient for you, but a face-to-face conversation is the only right way to do it. Offer solid reasons for discontinuing your relationship so that the issue is not about the sense of rejection, but a logical reasoning for moving on. Without closure, getting over a break-up can be a nightmare and the healing process is delayed.

4 Space

If you've had the break-up talk and attained closure, give your partner space. Steer clear of places where you can bump into her. If you've moved on first, don't take your new date to the same hangouts and restaurants and coffee shops that you frequented with your ex. No one needs reminders of a bad breakup. Especially when they are still hurting. Space is crucial for both of you to deal with the after shock of the break-up.

5 Move on with your life
When you've put a full stop to an existing relationship, make the effort to move on. Don't call your ex just to chat because you miss talking to her, despite the fact that you broke up for good reasons. When you move on, you also give her space and time to deal with the break-up, the negativity and finally coming to terms with it. You could be friends eventually, but for the moment, it is neither healthy nor likely. Handling a break-up with sensitivity shows your maturity. Given that break-ups are an unavoidable part of life, both people in the relationship should understand that it is not that your partner is a bad person, you were just not suited to each other.

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