Do women regret failed romance more

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day, you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears. I'll give it to someone special - The lyrics of this popular song by British pop duo Wham could very well reflect the psyche of most men and women when it comes to how they deal with relationship regrets.

For a new study conducted by American researchers at Northwestern University in Chicago reveals that the most common disappointment was romance among single women who were most likely to regret the one that got away. Men walk away with far less baggage than women after a break-up. We get experts to tell us why.

'What ifs?' and 'Should I have?' questions plague women for a long time
Clinical psychologist and traumatologist, Dr Seema Hingorrany, says, "Most men put stuff in compartments and focus on one thing at a time depending on what they think is top priority. Women, on the other hand, tend to give emotions more priority. As a result, they are more likely to introspect about a failed romantic relationship than men. Also, because we live in a patriarchal society, a woman is conditioned to think about her family first and then about herself. As a result, most women are often plagued by doubts."

Media executive Sonal Shah, agrees with Seema, and adds, "When I look back at my life, I still regret the fact that I chose my parents over the guy I love. I let them dictate terms and agreed to a marriage within my community, and now I am miserable."

Don't men have regrets too when it comes to failed romance?
Of course they do, it's just that most men choose not to dwell on them says, Dr Rajiv Anand, psychiatrist and marriage counsellor. He adds, "For most women being in relationship is the ultimate happiness,which is vital for her contentment. She wants to share everything with her 'soulmate'. She wants to lean on someone and get the feeling of a secured future, financially and emotionally. This makes her more dependent on her man. Most men, on the other hand, tend to focus their energies on work and other responsibilities, and avoid visiting the past as they see that as a dead end." Also, very few men will admit to regrets because they think it is not masculine to do so.

Why you should not live in the past
Pondering over a failed relationship will only bring you down, make you moody and leave you with a sense of helplessness.

Tips to help you bury the past and move on
- Understand that nothing is permanent in life. Things, people and relationships do change, and we should be ready to accept this fact.

- It takes huge time involvement and investment to understand people. So, don't rush into a serious relationship while the scars of the first one are still fresh.

- Don't spoil or throw away your own happiness and joy in life because of the mistakes, faults and imperfections in others.

- Relationships collapse due to expectations and very often less realistic ones. So, if you want to have a lasting relationship, have minimum expectations.

- Don't remain obsessed with what you have given to the relationship. Also, celebrate what you have received.

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