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Living without husband... Worrying about son's future


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  1. #1
    INDHUKAVI is offline Newbie
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    Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    my life ........................ everthing gone. my husband feeling very ashame to say him as my husband. so many problems .............
    at last i came out . with my son . now i feel that my son will feel lonely with out his father. but his father has no contacts with us . he even does not now how my son will look like. will it affect my sons future. pls suggest me

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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    Dear indhukavi, why are you crying? don't worry. Nothing is permanent in this world. What I understand from your post is that you have come out of your husband and you have a son who has not seen his father and because of this your son's future will be affected. If I understood correctly I am lucky and I can give a piece of peacemaking words ( i will not say it is my advice) for you to get a relief from your sorrow and unhappy situation.
    On coming to this world, you were not knowing who is going to be your husband. Somehow due to your luck or bad luck you have got him as husband,. due to some torturous moments you have come out of your husband with your son.

    I know a family where the husband has abandoned his wife and a 4 year old son some 23 years ago. that lady's family also not very wealthy but she has not cried like you. what was the education level of that abandoned lady at the time of her husband ledt her you know? only 1oth standard pass. luckily she was having proper marks card and sslc certificate.
    With bold mind she has started doing some small house hold works to the neighbors and she some how managed to lead a respectable life. Presently she has completed her BSC degree and working in a world famous CMC hospital in vellore as a special scanning / imaging machine technician. Her son now completed BE degree in Electronics and communication and working in a multinational company.

    Hence dont give away your confidence. If God has closed a way of getting shelter under your so called husband The god will open another avenue for you where in you come up like any thing. Hence with confidence do prayer and get succeed in your life. dont cry and make others also feel pity about you. God has created you and your son for a definite purpose. Hence you will definitely cross over this hurdle and come out with flying colour. all the best.


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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    Dear Indhukavi,

    Everything is not gone,this is not the end ,this is the new beginning for you and for your son.

    You are worried,your son will miss father's love and he will not experience it in his life but absence of a father is better than a presence of a bad father. what do you say??
    Why don't you consider re-marriage?? there will be many good men out there who can make your life much better and peaceful.

    There are advantages and disadvantages in single parenting.disadvantages are that children tend to grow up more one sided in their knowledge of family relationships, you may feel stressed out and alone more often than not and everything from social acceptability to financial security may be a greater struggle for your family.
    The advantage is you both get great self confidence level. Making it against the odds not only gives strength to your son it's also good foundation for his future, to work hard and win out in life. He may work harder because he have faced hardship in his early age it self which will teach him how to deal with his life on his own terms,trust me.

    Always keep this in your mind that,never ever show your depression or anger to your son, always keep yourself happy that way you can create a good environment for your son.
    Show him loads of affection,dont ever let him feel lonely but be strict when the need arises. If you are working then manage your time wisely, Spend some quality time with your son everyday.
    Indhu,you can do it,be strong, don't be stressed/depressed.Keep your spirits up. My prayers and best wishes for you dear.




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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    Dear preethi, I fully accept your suggestion.it is now left to indhukavi to take it or not. generally people should accept the present state of affairs and go ahead without fearing for repercussions.

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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    Quote Originally Posted by sumitra View Post
    Dear preethi, I fully accept your suggestion.it is now left to indhukavi to take it or not. generally people should accept the present state of affairs and go ahead without fearing for repercussions.
    True Sumitra but you know in the initial stage people will be having lot of confusion in their mind about what to do and how to go ahead of life with this kinda situation,happens dear, Let Indhu read and decide. Thanks dear.

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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    Hey indhukavi,
    Dont feel sorry for yourself!! Every person has a purpose in this world.. Now your purpose of existence has been shown to you. Your kid.. You are a fighter now. Leaving a husband is not a end of the world. Its better to get your kid out of the atmosphere where your husband has no respect for you and disrespects you. Because this atmospher will either make your kid male chavanistic and disrepects you too following his father or he supports you and develops hatred towards his father.. If your reasons are genuine then get a proper divorce and get child support for your son financially from his father. Your responsibility is doubled now.. If you are to do pg studies go ahead finish it and get a good job to support. Ask your parents support to look after your kid when you are busy with your studies but dont leave him to them whole time. Use their help whenever its needed. Take incharge ouf yours and your son's life. Never giveup for your son's sake. Do the father role too..

    Analyse what went wrong in the marriage. Put yourself in his shoes too and think what would be the reaction of yours if he does the stuffs you did. There should be some valuable reason or incident which made him lose respect on u. Find out the root cause of the problem.. This is for yhe self analysis. But if you and your husband decided to seperate have it on papers which will reduce legal problems and also its his paternal rights to know about his son. So so consult with the lawyer about legal stuff..

    Fight ... Fight till the end!!!


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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    Dear nlakshmi, you have correctly pointed out her (Hindukavi) responsibility and her future approach in this problem. definitely she will come out of this trauma successfully and let us all pray the almighty the God to render his full blessings towards Hindukavi to restore her peaceful and pleasant life again, thanks

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    ahana_naidu is offline Newbie
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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    Don't worry about your son future until you are with him. When he became younger the you can share your thoughts about his father and then i am sure he will under stand the situation. Being a single mom is not at all bad, i really don't know about your story but i hope your are well and its better to came out from a relationship in which you are not getting support from your partner, where there is no trust, no respect no values. Just take care of your son dont worry a women is emotionally more powerful than a man you dont know but when you face some critical situation in your life then you realize that how powerful a women is . god bless you and your family


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    Hemalatha Vijay is offline Minister's of Penmai
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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    I agreed with Preethi's opinion.


  10. #10
    Kellen is offline Newbie
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    Re: Living without husband... Worrying about son's future

    I think you must try to change the mind of your son if its will not happen.Than consult with a lawyer and file for the custody of your son.And fix that for how much time your son will be in the custody of his father?

    Last edited by jv_66; 26th Aug 2013 at 05:21 PM. Reason: External link removed
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