Discussions on "single parenting" in "Life without mate" forum.
5th Nov 2011, 04:34 PM #1
Single parenting is not just a full time job—it is an art. The task of raising a child without the support of your spouse is very challenging and treacherous.
A mistake here and a lack of attention there can turn your child into someone you can’t relate with, but a little bit of care in the right direction and your child doesn’t have to face all that agony.
He can very well come up to be a bright, smart and a perfectly normal kid who shares a brilliant and uncomplicated relationship with you.
Single parenting may arise out of your spouse’s death, estrangement or it could even be a conscious decision on your part. But whatever the case is, you must understand that a family is complete only when a child grows up with both the parents.
Once you accept this, you are ready to go that extra mile to ensure that not only do you act as a two-in-one parent, but you also double up as your baby’s best friend.
Find out more on effects of single parenting on children.
Positive Effects Of Single Parenting
While most people think that single parenting can only raise problems for children it actually happens to have a quite a few advantages of its own.
Single parents tend to create closer and stronger bonds with their children. Since this task is about providing for everything that your child wants and understanding him inside out, the bond that you end up building with the child can be stronger than any built by a regular set of parents.
Also, since you are the only source of support, the child would tend to be more close to you. The love that the child has for parents, that is normally shared by two entities, would be solely showered on you. As such, you would end up being more close to your child that parents normally are.
Single parents also tend to treat their kids with more responsibility and maturity. The child, more than being just a kid, becomes their confidant, pal and partner.
This initiates a general level of maturity in the child and the kid turns out to be more mature, understanding and responsible than his/her contemporaries.
The chances of erring and going wrong are generally reduced as the kid is taught to keep his head on his shoulders way ahead of time. Such kids also tend to become more stable and subtle in their approach towards life.
Children reared by single parents have quite a different outlook towards life. They do not look at life as a chance to make most mistakes in life; rather they treat every moment as a teaching experience.
This makes them more confident and independent. Often this decision taking is also triggered by the fact that single parents turn to their kids for advice and such activities only lead to making kids more mature, self assured and independent.
Negative Effects Of Single Parenting
Despite all the positive outcomes of single parenting, there is no denying the fact that it has major drawbacks for kids. While some single parents make sure that they go that extra mile to ensure a normal and healthy environment for the child, most actually make mistakes which can be fatal where child welfare is concerned.
The most suffered aspect of a kid’s life in these circumstances is education. Often single parents may turn out to be financially incapable of providing meaningful education to their kids. If not that, then the general vagabond-ness that accompanies single parenting may distract the kid and he/she may lose interest in studies altogether. Also, since the single parent has to look after everything, spending time on lessons or teaching the child can be an extremely demanding task.
If the single parenting is a result of a painful divorce or a very sudden and unsettling bereavement, then the kid may lose the ability of dealing with stress and may turn into a depressed and pessimistic individual. This condition is very common among kids with single parents, but can be timely treated, when addressed appropriately. The condition may also turn the kid to substance abuse and alcoholism. Hence, it is always better to indulge the kids in some extra-curricular activities.
When the child sees an estrangement or bereavement at a very young age, he/ she can also become extremely insecure about relationships and may not open up to people at all. It then becomes the responsibility of the parent to ensure that the transition of the kid from having both to only a single parent is smooth enough for him/ her to handle. Also, since the child is left with just one parent, he/she may get over possessive about the single parent. As such, it turns out on the part of the parent to make sure that the child comes over the insecurities and possessiveness.
Last edited by Parasakthi; 5th Nov 2011 at 05:06 PM.
30th Nov 2011, 03:42 PM #2
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i am gaining courage to becme a single parent. having suffered enough, i hope i will make a correct decision and be a good parent to my adopted son.
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30th Nov 2011, 03:45 PM #3
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Super article Viji
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