10 Commandments for a Successful Married Life
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14th Dec 2011, 08:30 PM #1
10 Commandments for a Successful Married Life
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."
~ Erich Fromm
1. Love Comes First: Physical love is good, but there has to be genuine spiritual love also in your heart. Your immediate neighbor is your own spouse. So let charity begin at home and set an example by loving your spouse first and foremost. Follow the scripture: "Love thy neighbor as thyself".
2. Narrow the Gulf: Whether it is a love marriage, arranged marriage or forced marriage, differences are bound to arise. Both of you come from different backgrounds, upbringings and environments. You must be ready to overlook the sharp differences, lapses or shortcomings.
3. Forgive & Forget: Remember, to forgive is divine, and keep doing it, even if you have to repeat this process for infinite times.
4. Begin the Day Cool: Early in the morning, both spouses should try to remain calm and cool. No discussions or arguments in the early morning hours.
5. Silence Can Save: When you leave home for work in the morning, be at your best behavior. If one of you is provoked or complains, silence is the best answer. Conversely, you can say, "We will discuss it in the evening".
6. Inquire & Appreciate: After you return home, enquire and take interest in one another's activity during the day: "How was your day?" You must show your genuine appreciation and sympathy. Top it with a pleasant smile.
7. Listen & Sympathize: Do listen to your spouse attentively and sympathetically. Never ignore. Even at your place of work, if you get a telephone call from your partner, be polite and courteous, in spite of your busy schedule.
8. Don't Forget to Compliment: Make use of "Thank you", "Well done", "You have done a good job", and "I am sorry", as frequently as is necessary. Be generous in your praise and compliments.
9. Don't Compare: Do not enter into comparisons. No one is 100% perfect or 100% imperfect. We all have flaws and shortcomings. Always look at the good qualities of your spouse.
10. Keep Smiling: Be cheerful and smile away your problems. Give a smile as often as you can. Only a human person is endowed with this blessing. Animals do not have this rare faculty. Did you know you use only 20 muscles for a smile but 70 muscles for a frown? So, keep smiling!
"Follow your bliss." - Joseph Campbell
Successful marriage depends on trust, respect and love for each other. These are three pillars of any successful married life. Apart from these if you couples or singles know the tips to success given below, i am sure, you will not face any problem in your married life. Preparations Be with each other.
Provide a refuge and sanctuary for each other from the chill winds of the world. Your marriage is a hearth, from whence comes the peace, harmony, and warmth of soul and spirit. Its like bicycle, where it is necessary for both wheels to work.
Love to be loved.
Warm your loved one's body with your healing touch. Remember that as babies can die with lack of touching, so can marriages wither from lack of closeness. Touch is the best feeling which you can give to anybody, even plants grow faster if you touch them daily and here its you n your beloved.
Be more like a friend.
Friendship can be a peaceful island, separate and apart, in a world of turmoil and strife. Reflect upon the tranquility of the many future years you can share with a true friend, and beware of becoming battling enemies under the same roof. Don't forget," Friendship is a plant whose roots are embedded in hearts and flower blossom in heaven".
Openness is key to success.
Bind not yourselves in the secretness that causes suspicion and doubt. Trust and reveal yourselves to each other, even as the budding rose opens to reveal its fragrance and beauty. This is the most important point in married life, openness, be frank and say what ever you want, don't look like under the carpet deal, as this will built suspicion and tension
Listen to know each other.
And hear not only words, but also the non-language of tone, mood, and expression. Learn to listen to understand rather than listening to argue. Listening each other will help you to know each other better and give little space for arguments and tensions.
Respect each other feelings.
Remember that each is a person of flesh and blood, entitled to his or her own choices and mistakes. Each owns himself, and has the right to equality. Remember criticism divides, while compliments encourage confidence in the other. Try to ignore each other mistakes, this will help you both. Respect each other feelings and choices, don't blatantly speak out about the choices.
Allow the individuality.
Seek not to create for each other a new mold that can only fit with much discomfort and pain. Accept the other as they are, as you would have yourself accepted. Be what you are and never try to restrain your ideologies and words on each other. Let both of you maintain a individuality with space to fit each other rather causing discomfort and pain.
Enjoy your togetherness.
Let no one come between your togetherness, not child, not friend, nor worldly goods. Yet maintain enough separateness to allow each other his or her own uniqueness.
Never boost about your individuality and independence. Boosting in public or parties can cause/develop tension in your life as no person would like to hear boosting unnecessary.
Respect your husband.
The most Important, never give an impression that just because you are not dependent on your husband you can do anything and that your husband has no right to tell you anything. Don't fight over small matters and learn to avoid unnecessary tensions.
"For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it." - Ivan Panin
"Whenever I have knocked, a door has opened. Wherever I have wandered, a path has appeared. I have been helped, supported, encouraged and nurtured by people of all races, creeds, colors and dreams." - Alice Walker, In Search of Our Mothers' Garden
"To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten." - Anonymous
"What will survive of us is love.'' - Philip Larkin
"The mind determines what is possible. The heart surpasses it.'' - Pilar Colinta
"Give your hands to serve and your hearts to love.'' - Mother Teresa
"I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life." - D. H. Lawrence
"Within your heart, keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go." - Louise Driscoll
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." - Chamfort
"Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it." - Robert Mitchum
"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong
"At last you kissed me, I could die in waves again, and one good lick of quicksand took..." - Heather McHugh
"Where love is, no room is too small." - Talmud
"Speak to him, for there is none born wise." - Ptahhotpe
"We can only learn to love by loving." - Iris Murdoch
"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." - anonymous
Sources From Internet.
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