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The sexual demands in a marriage

Discussions on "The sexual demands in a marriage" in "Married Life" forum.

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    The sexual demands in a marriage

    The sexual demands in a marriage

    While you don't mind going an extra mile to please your partner in bed, but often there are certain sexual demands to which you do not give in easily.

    Be it male or female partners, everyone has their set of bedroom demands, which, if not satisfied by the other partner can ruin a relationship. Sometimes slightly kinky and not-so-nice sexual demands by your partner are a turn-off as they mar sexual pleasure. It's for the partners to decide how to react to these repeated demands while having sex.

    If your mate is unable to meet your sex demands, chances are high that you are going out of their comfort zone and over expecting. Here experts dole out advice on easier ways to control your sex demands so as to enjoy having sex with your partner without much of disagreement...


    Instant undressing :

    Men find it very fascinating to see their girl naked. So mastering the act of undressing is a vital which men will insist on during a quickie. What irks women about this demand is the continuous pressure to undress all at once as most women prefer a long and sensual foreplay.

    Meet the demand :

    Sex therapist Dr. Ratan Mehrotra suggests, "Men need to be a little more calm and patient and let women enter a comfort zone where they can undress sans any inhibitions. Expecting your mate to strip at once isn't as simple as it may sound, so give her space, make her feel at ease and make it an enjoyable act. Maybe your lady is feeling shy; so turn off the lights and then tell her softly about your desire of getting a glimpse of her body."

    Wicked & Wild :

    It's official that men are more sexually aggressive and they often expect their female partner to behave in a similar manner. While asking your babe to get adventurous, remember that your lady love may feel like you are behaving like a wild animal in bed.

    Meet the demand :

    Mumbai-based sexologist Dr. Amit Agarwal states, "Demanding that your woman acts wild and wicked in bed as you expect them to be is unfair. Your female partner can't step into a porn star's shoes and perform wild sex moves. Try and let her do what she enjoys doing in bed instead of forcing her to do things which you want. Once she is open to trying out newer sex positions, try asking her if she wants to opt for wilder moves."

    Oral pleasure :

    Oral pleasure can be enjoyed only when both partners give mutual consent. And quite often, it's an imposed act on the female partner, because not all women are happy with the idea of going down to please their men.

    Meet the demand :

    Sexologist Dr. Pushkar Gupta opines, "When it comes to intimate moments, nothing should be forced. Rather each act should be an expression of love. In case of oral sex, it's true that men are more eager to receive oral pleasure and women often are reluctant mainly due to hygiene issues. Men must let the woman realise that this is equally a part of their physical intimacy and he is not forcing oral sex on her. Once a woman starts taking pleasure in the act, just wait for an initiative from her side rather that asking her to indulge in an oral act every time you get intimate."


    Multiple orgasms :

    Most women complain that their male partners fail to give them the ultimate Big 'O'. Thus, they start over expecting from their man and hold them responsible for perhaps failing to reach a gratifying orgasm. Men on the other hand, find it disgusting when their female partner concentrates more on her orgasm, being least bothered about his enjoyment.

    Meet the demand :

    Dr. Agarwal explains, "Women must not act aggressive if they are not getting an easy orgasm from their male partner. There might be several reasons behind this, so instead of showing your anger and making it look like an obligation for your better half, try enjoying the act to the fullest. And once you stop posing a demand for a gratifying climax, you will not only perform the act in a better way, but the enjoyment level would soar too."

    Slow and steady moves :

    Women are no less ravenous when it comes to sex, but they do define their limits when it comes to performing. They prefer a man who is not too wild in his sexual behaviour. The reason why men find it tough to give in to this demand is because they indulge in sex to enjoy and get pleasure, whereas women seek more of intimacy, cuddling, snuggling, which might not sound stimulating enough for a man.

    Meet the demand :

    Dr. Mehrotra shares, "Expecting men to perform in bed as per your terms and conditions will kill sexual passion and lead to troubles in your sexual life. Though it doesn't mean that you start accepting whatever your partner does in bed, but being too rigid and expecting them to perform slowly always is a bad move. Women need to understand that men harbour certain sexual desires and if you start imposing your viewpoint on them, it would lead nowhere. If their acts are uncomfortable, let them know about what turns you on and build a relationship based on mutual understanding."

    Using protection :

    Treating sex like a duty or responsibility that has to be played out every night is not a healthy practice. Women, in general, insist a lot on using contraception and men aren't too keen about it as it reduces their pleasure quotient. Also, the demand of using protection during every sex session is mostly driven by women's pregnancy fears.

    Meet the demand :

    Dr. Gupta suggests, "If you are too firm that your partner use protection during sex, explain this to him with logical reasons so that he can understand your mind space. Putting it as a demand will only make them furious; they might even refuse to perform. So follow a proper way to have your demands fulfilled by your partner, as forcing won't help whatsoever. Moreover, there are other methods of daily contraception like oral pills, which can be easily resorted to. It's important to build mutual understanding in this regard."

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    Last edited by Parasakthi; 7th Jan 2012 at 10:22 AM. Reason: Alignment



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