Bad sex is equal to a bad relationship

There is a close two-way connection between bad sex and a bad relationship, and the give and take between physical contact and emotional connect is just the tip of the iceberg.

Although many people refuse to understand the enormity of sexual dissatisfaction in relationships, the fact is that sexual compatibility and appetite is as important as any other aspect of a couple's life together. Today, Dr. Pulkit Sharma, Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalytical Therapist at Vimhans Hospital, Delhi, unravels the mystery of why bad sex is equal to a bad relationship.

Bad sex as a mirror of relationship crisis:
In many couples who come for counseling with complaints of sexual intimacy, it is often seen that bad sex is just an expression of deep-seated issues in the relationship. Either one or both partners harbor rage, envy and resentment towards each other and this gets mirrored in their sex life. Since sexual intimacy involves opening up to the other person, these people resent it. In such cases a change is possible by working on emotional and psychological issues.

Bad sex and dissatisfaction:
Either one or both partners fail to understand that mutually satisfying sex is an integral part of a good relationship. People still hold on to the myth that if you are truly in love, sex does not matter so much. The fact is that it matters a lot and often people feel embarrassed in sharing this. The negative emotions pile up eventually ruining the relationship.

Bad sex and neglect:
Having bad sex indicates that either one or both the partners are neglecting the needs and the wishes of the other person. In a good relationship, both partners take keen interest in gratifying the needs of the other person including the sexual ones.

Bad sex and personality misfit:
Bad sex can also indicate that both the partners are very different from each other and do not understand each other well. Psychological incompatibility in personality can also lead to an incompatibility in sex life. Often people have very different arousal patterns and intimacy needs from each other and a common understanding needs to be built in the relationship.

Bad sex and inhibition:
Bad sex can also be an indicator that either one or both partners feel closed and inhibited emotionally in the relationship. This is a vicious cycle, which makes both the relationship and sex life deteriorated.

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