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how to compromise my wife


Discussions on "how to compromise my wife" in "Married Life" forum.


  1. #11
    kanivel's Avatar
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    If you are not good enough in writing, better choose a card which says sorry with touching words.


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  2. #12
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    First, go and visit her.. Dont just get into ideas before seeing her in person. There might be hundred reasons why she dint tell her family. She might be concerned about their health. Or she just needed time in where your marriage went wrong. This is not the situation where she will forgive you easily.. First go and see her in person.. Let her out her anger and frustration and the feeling of deceived by her soulmate. So what she is not picking her phone up. You know where she is . So go and tell what you really meant in person. Theres lot your expression and body language can emphasis her when you are true to ur heart than writing letters.. By just waiting for her to pick up ur call, you are just wasting your golden hours of ur relationship.

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  3. #13
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    //Theres lot your expression and body language can emphasis her when you are true to ur heart than writing letters..//

    I think
    nlakshmi has underestimated the power of written communication. Especially when somebody is angry, talking face to face may result in quarrels and bitter feelings. Both will have chance to become emotional, and words may fall out unguarded! Reactions come spontaneously, and there is no time to think and react!
    But written communication gives time to muse over the words and get cooled down slowly. It helps to filter only the good emotions to pass on to her! As a result, she feels good while reading it, and it comforts her broken heart.

    Another advantage is, it avoids unnecessary scenes in front of her family members, who seem to know nothing about this affair!

    I have seen people who went for compromise, and came back hurt after a heated quarrel. This makes the damage irreparable at times! So, writing is the best way to tell her that you are sorry and that you miss her! Time heals anything! Letters give that time!


  4. #14
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    Well kanivel opinion differs... And in this situation one has to face the consequences... This one Is the king of mistakes in any marital relationship.. The victim shoul let out her anger first as she had been deceived while married(you know what i mean). Just apologising and writing in letter the feelings for her will not work out in this matter as this incident would'nt have happened if the feelings were true. Here the trust is lost.. Only time will heal and his confrontation face to face.. He lost his previlege in any argument.. Only thing he can do is regaining her trust.. Which is mot that easy.. May be letters can help how he misses and realises his mistake during the reassuring period but now he has to face her and also may be her family. You cant take a girl's life for granted.. Of course he has the responsibility to answer her parents if it comes public... Its her life that has got in jeapordy ... By writing love notes and how much he feels for her will irritate her more before face to face confrontation...

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  5. #15
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    Day before yesterday night i messaged her and apologized.. She replied that, i don't want to talk anything with you hereafter...

    And yesterday morning she came back to our home.. but she is not talking anything to me. I asked sorry many time and said that i will be true to you hereafter.

    But she is not talking to me.. She slept in the hall alone. Today she went outside and came back afternoon only.. again not talking with me..


    Kovathil ethavathu thitita.. kooda manasu nimmathi agidum, aanal pesam irupathu mansai romba kastap paduthu thu..

    I had taken leave to the office for the last week, tomorrow i have to go to work, but i am feeling tired mentally. I don't know what will happen in our life.

    Don't know how to make pacify her. so so depressed.. help me...

    Last edited by ravindar31; 2nd Sep 2012 at 07:16 PM.
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  6. #16
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    Quote Originally Posted by ravindar31 View Post
    Day before yesterday night i messaged her and apologized.. She replied that, i don't want to talk anything with you hereafter...

    And yesterday morning she came back to our home.. but she is not talking anything to me. I asked sorry many time and said that i will be true to you hereafter.

    But she is not talking to me.. She slept in the hall alone. Today she went outside and came back afternoon only.. again not talking with me..


    Kovathil ethavathu thitita.. kooda manasu nimmathi agidum, aanal pesam irupathu mansai romba kastap paduthu thu..

    I had taken leave to the office for the last week, tomorrow i have to go to work, but i am feeling tired mentally. I don't know what will happen in our life.

    Don't know how to make pacify her. so so depressed.. help me...
    manasula patta kaayam romba perusu brother... neenga vendaamnu confirmed aa ninaichirunthaa kandippaa thirumbi vanthu irukka maataanga... she has come back... thank god...

    konjam kobam theerum varai appadithaan iruppaanga... neenga avangalukku enna pidikkumo athai seinga... naan inime 100% unakkaaga thaannu unga attitude moolamaa proof pannunga...

    konjamaa kaayam patta pengal thitti theethukkuvaanga.... romba deep hurt naa silence is the way to show their anger... avanga hall a paduthaa neengalaum hall a vanthu amaithiyaa padunga....

    avangaloda pains ellaame ungalukkum sonthamaanathunu indirect aa theriyap paduthunga... don't leave words... everything will be allright... god bless u...

    nallaikku office pogavaa vendaamaanu avanga kittaye soft aa permission kekkara maathiri kelunga... i don't know whether u understand tamil...



    Last edited by suganthiramesh; 2nd Sep 2012 at 07:36 PM.
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  7. #17
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    As suganthi said ... When the pain is very deep, you will get only silence... You cannot get the normal life this soon.. You have to prove her that you are really sorry for what happened and how you have changed.. You will have to wait patienly in this matter.. You still dont know how she is feeling. Until and unless she lets out her anger to you, you are still in the first phase... Give her space but ensure her your change in even small things.. You should have the talk . Time is the only medicine.. Support her decisions, if she wants to go for a job if she is not employed... All the best


  8. #18
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    I'm happy that she came back. It surely shows that she still wants to live with you. be patient till her anger wanes off and act as our other friends have advised you. You can make it! All the best!

    Dont forget to share it here if she becomes alright!

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  9. #19
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    Hello anna, I am a new member here and I just read all the posts in this thread. First of all accept my empathy. I feel for your situation. But Vinai vithaithavan vinai aruppan right? You have to face these consequences. The hurt you are feeling because of the guilt of your mistake, and because of your wife's reaction and rejection is nothing compared to what she is feeling. She is probably thinking of all the good times you both had and all the sweet things you said to her and that all that was fake from your part. She feels like her life is over and that she just has to put up with you for the rest of her life for the sake of her parents and the society... So try to give her as much time as possible. No amount of apology from your side will be enough for you to lose patience. You just have to show your love while making sure you are giving her the time and space to heal. Eventualy when she is willing to talk to you tell her the whole truth...about your affair and how you ended it. Give her password to your phone, email, computer etc. and make her understand you no longer have secrets. It will be hard to gain her trust, but strong love and true repentance from your side can save your marriage.

    Final suggestion. Do not ever talk to that other lady again. Through phone, facebook (block her) and email. She does not deserve any bit of your time. No matter what a wonderful person she is, if you want your marriage to succeed she has no place in your life whatsoever. Stay away from social media if needed and stay away from her vicinity,. If she is your colleague and you have to meet her everyday, you might even want to take big steps like changing your job and location. All the best!


  10. #20
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    Re: how to compromise my wife

    thank you suganthi, lakshmi, kanivel and shalini... i can understand the pain i caused..

    but the same state exists, she is not at all talking to me.. but still we both living in the same house. except one thing that she cooks and give for me.. not even looking my face.

    i still feel very bad.. day before yesterday i tried to talk with her, but she said that i don't want to talk wiht you..

    she is not at all listening me, yeah i know i have to face this, since i had done the mistake. but now i fully came out, but my wife is not accepting me.

    she is conveying her needs through a written paper only, its hurting me a lottttttttttt. again looking for all your suggestions

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