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Married Life Without Love or Feelings?Where it might lead

Discussions on "Married Life Without Love or Feelings?Where it might lead" in "Married Life" forum.

  1. #1
    Entejeevan is offline Newbie
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    Nov 2012

    Married Life Without Love or Feelings?Where it might lead

    Dear Friends,
    I think this will be the best site to share my worries and pain that I cant share with friends/family in person.Father of a 1 year old son aged in early 30s with a very successful career in different parts of the world on professional side.I met my wife who is everything for me on a matrimonial site and it was a love at first site for me.Its commonly said or believed that love/attraction or affection vanish when marriage becomes old and my wife was saying the same when I first expressed my love.But I am still madly in love with her and I wont be able to survive without her love or presence.But she changed a lot by attitude after the marriage and some words that comes out from her tears my heart,I speak to her everyday how much I love and all I expected from the day of marriage is Love.Even now,without her with me,I don't like eating or don't get sleep.We really never had a good time after marriage as she feels bored when I talk romantic or she does not want to spend private time with me.She says God I am not Romantic like you what to do?I never let my hopes down and tried to investigate her reason for all these misunderstanding and actions /why she cant see the support I am giving her.Small things or silly discussion gets bigger.My parents love and everyone likes her,she knows that.She has been mostly staying with her parents (that is what she likes the most apart from sleeping when she gets time) when am at work on Oil Rig on 21/21 Days rotation cycle.

    Friends,My pain wont end until she change for good and I will stay as a committed husband till my last moment of life,even if she gives me more pain.But frankly,I need advise from all you readers,Please do advise me:
    1) How do working professional women balance both personal and professional life?How serious are personal life/married life/parenting considered when it comes to professional side??
    2) Ever mistreated your husband by cruel words or actions (some might deserve or some might be misunderstanding?)??What do you feel after pouring out such anger/mood??How do you feel after knowing your words/action was for nothing..
    3) Have anyone/husbands been ignored of private time by spouse always on same story with no no reason,how did you handle such situations.And,what do women expect from her husband??
    4) How much you love your spouse even if you don't get positive response or affection.What will you do if this attitudes never changes after very long run?

    Dear Readers,its 2.30am and am here thinking what to write or share with my tired eyes.If you have any advise or comments,please do advise me and I hope if not a solution,I can at least share my feelings with someone who has passed over my situations.I Wish God Bless All Family Life With Lots Of Happiness And Love,Because life or a home becomes meaningless when we don't have anyone to share it.

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    lashmi likes this.

  2. #2
    lashmi's Avatar
    lashmi is offline Penman of Penmai
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    Re: Married Life Without Love or Feelings?Where it might lead

    Hello jeevan sir......u r perfect guy.......all likes yr character......so dont worry...... sir mrg mudinjathuku appuram unga lifela enta change irukaatuuu.....but ladiesku appdialla.....parents pirijnju thaniya oru puthu placela enter aagarangaa.....so avanga mentala prepare aagaratukku 2yrs thevapadum....athukulla kid...family commitment varumbotu sila idatula slip aavangaaa.......but neenga worry pannikathinga......konja naalla correct pannikuvangaa.......time kodunga avangaluku

    Sir anba velipadutartula pala vitham irukku.......neenga oru type......avanga oru type avlotaan.....athukaga love illanu solla mudiyatuu....mm
    Avanga valarnta vitham apdi irukalam.........romantica pesaratu ellam mrg munnadi taann.....mrg aagita poruppana....amaityana typical husbanda neenga irukanumnu avanga ethirpaarkalam......hus wife iruntaalum manasu vera tana sir......so pls understand her feeling.

    Avanga parents homeku poorangana routine lifela iruntu oru change ethir paarkaranga.....so neenga atha konjam concentrate pannungaaa....

    Sir unga nalla manasuku ethuvum thappa nadakatuu........u dont worry......unga problem ellam clear aagi neenga kid wife santhosamaga irukka enatu vazhthukal...


    jv_66, vaishnav, sumitra and 1 others like this.

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  3. #3
    nlakshmi's Avatar
    nlakshmi is offline Minister's of Penmai
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    May 2011
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    Re: Married Life Without Love or Feelings?Where it might lead

    Mr Jeevan,
    you are a good husband. But you need to understand your wife too. she is a mom of 1 yr old and also a working. she has to look after the kid and also cope with the work demands. In the mean time, she has to play a wife role too... she is also a human being. She needs some rest. you should understand how tiring it is to manage a 1 year old boy. It is even a tough job for a stay at home mom. Needless to say about a working women. At the end of the day all she wants to do is sleep. She may be stressed out both mentally from work and physically from handling your kid. This is a very tiring period for couples. Until the kids get to school it will be very hard to handle. She may be also a romantic person but she may just not have any energy to show it off. Each and every individual is different.. Some can be extremely romantic and so cannot show off how romantic they are...If they try to show it, then it will dramatic and they feel its not them, they are acting. But their love towards their spouse will be very deep. What if she is not showing it off..you can make her comfortable from your side. But when a person is really stressed out, even a tad bit more romance will irritate them. Give her some space.
    She is opting to stay with her mom, means she can feel free there.. Even though your mom is showing love, she cannot be comfortable with her as she is with her mom.. She can tell to look after the kid and she can go for shopping, she can ask her mom for her favourite food. she can rest in the mom;s house.. but with the inlaw.. may be one or two times it can work out.. afterwards your mom will also expect her to act like a daughter in law..she may expect her to cook. She has to be in constraint in her inlaws house without husband being there where as she can be free of constraint in her mom's house. So this is not a big issue as you think... Give her some time and space..

    vaishnav and vijivedachalam like this.



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