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  • 5 Post By amnilakshmi
  • 5 Post By jv_66
  • 5 Post By sumitra
  • 5 Post By vijivedachalam
  • 3 Post By vdiviga
  • 5 Post By dharani242

Need advice


Discussions on "Need advice" in "Married Life" forum.


  1. #1
    amnilakshmi is offline Newbie
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    Need advice

    Hi all,

    I am back... I am feeling very lonely these days. I noticed that i do not have any friends or relatives whom i have been maintaining a good relationship with. all are either jealous or try to create issues which have no solutions but have been spoiling my day and mood throughout.

    My hubby also says the same thing.. he says that i do not mingle with people. I have tried to change myself but i end up having issues which further spoils mymood. Please let me know how to solve this kind of things. I help others but when i need them no one is there for me.. people take me for granted.... I am really sick of this... and hearing words from DH is even more frustrating me... HElp me please


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  2. #2
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Re: Need advice


    Hi Lakshmi,

    Please do not worry and get frustrated.

    Many people may be of the type, which you have mentioned but not all of them.

    First, you can join many social networks, and you can make many friends there. Really, you will enjoy being friends with them.

    Then, with the friends you meet in person, ALWAYS TRY TO HELP THEM AND DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYBODY.

    Like Lord Krishna has told in Baghavad Gita, "Do your duty, don't expect anything out of it", we all should follow this.

    Initially, it may be difficult, but, when you are used to do similar things, it will be enjoyable.

    Always be friendly with everyone you meet. But don't expect anything from them. Even without your knowledge, some or other persons will come to help you.

    Your husband is the BEST FRIEND in your life. Engage fully with your children. If time permits, please do some social services, which will be a great relief for our heart and mind.


    Jayanthy





  3. #3
    sumitra's Avatar
    sumitra is offline Registered User
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    Re: Need advice

    Dear amnilakshmi, I understand your problem. If you are educationally qualified and you have enough zeal for working, you try to go to work with the permission of your husband so that your loneliness problem can be solved in one way and also your family will get a financial support in another way. If you help others why do you expect that they should show some gratitude or they should be grateful to you in recognition of your help. That and all should not be expected in this world. You should help others but in turn don't expect any thing. Pray the God. Spend your leisure hours by reading spiritual books, Have a pooja room in your house, keep the photo of your favourite God, light the lamp in the pooja room, spend sometime with the God by sitting in the Pooja room and do meditation. By this practise, you can easily kill your loneliness. All the best.


  4. #4
    vijivedachalam's Avatar
    vijivedachalam is offline Penman of Penmai
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    Re: Need advice

    hi lakshmi.....
    dont get frustated pa.... life is too short... so just enjoy the life.... y r u considering others.... just live for urself..... we cant satisfy anyone inthis world.. if we start to satisfy means they will start to discourage us... so leave everything.... u have lot of friends in penmai teamm.. come and join with us.. penmai is abest entertainer.. stories, poem songs, slogam, art, painting ,crafts and ete etc intresting things are in penmai... so dont feel lonely... you can chat here also... be bold and courage da... u r a perfect person inthis world.. no need to change ur attiude.. but change ur dullness.. be happy dear...

    life is so beautiful....

  5. #5
    vdiviga's Avatar
    vdiviga is offline Newbie
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    Re: Need advice

    Hi Lakshmi,
    Truly I can understand Ur feeling.
    U feel lonely as u get disconnected from the rest of the world because of those few friends.
    All your ten fingers doesn't looks similar. U r able to see so many differences even in Ur own hand. In that way each and every people r different from each other. Everyone have their own sets of qualities and characters. U can think or expect y people do like this though I help them or love them. U can't expect them to b same like u.. Too much of expectation is good for nothing..
    So u better ve to ignore them rather than thinking and considering it... Life has to go on.. Don't think too much about these and hurt or stress urself... Try to b urself.. U can't live a life to satisfy other people...
    please try to follow the idea which i ve mentioned below. Hope it will help u.
    1) if u feel that Ur friends or family can't make u feel grounded then just go outside for a walk or go for shopping and see other people in the streets, perhaps saying hello to someone can surely make u feel better.
    2) Join in a social group like penmai. Think about something that interests you; that can be anything like cookery, beauty tips or anything. Share ur experience s, values in ur interests. So u can meet up new people and u can get to do something that u enjoy.
    3) Join in locallocal groups or clubs or classes like exercises, art, music, health and beauty, computer and IT classes; religious and spiritual meetings; parent and baby clubs, sports clubs; meditation groups, slimming groups, etc. U can make new friends and can start to engage in the outer world.
    However, I m hoping that some of the positive advices which i've shared here will surely help you.. B happy...

    sumathisrini, Geetha A and jv_66 like this.

  6. #6
    dharani242's Avatar
    dharani242 is offline Newbie
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    Re: Need advice

    Hello Sister,
    I am dharani and new to this group.I am also faced same problem i.e.,(loneliness and language problem) like u for 3 years(delhi) and noone is here to support..i didnot sleep in the night times.Even at 3 am i getup and prepare food becoz i was not sleep properly.After 3 years i went to hindi class for 2 months in evening after my husband arrival from office becoz am having 2 yrs baby.

    After Learning Hindi,i went out for interviews and i got the job last october 2012.Now i feel free from loneliness and my baby going to playschool.

    U can also try the following to avoid loneliness,

    Gardening,
    Practice Mehandi,drawing
    Reading story,weekly magazine,
    visit the temple,
    art and crafts,
    dont forget to visit the penmai site.

    Akka,Dont expect anything from anyone...I am also experiences the same like u ..

    With Thanks,
    Dharani

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