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Beware of control freaks

Discussions on "Beware of control freaks" in "Married Life" forum.

  1. #1
    vijigermany's Avatar
    vijigermany is offline Supreme Ruler's of Penmai
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    Jul 2011

    Beware of control freaks

    Beware of control freaks

    We all want some control over our lives the circumstances of our life are largely determined by those around us. Our spouses, kids, family members, co-workers, and friends have a huge influence.

    Their behavior, good or bad, determines a lot about what we have to deal with in life.many of us want to control people. Some of us even go too far in trying to control others. They are control freaks

    control freaks especially hate to admit flaws because self-righteousness is really central to the psyche. Control freaks are usually convinced they know the right way for everyone else to run their lives.

    Most control freaks usually grew up in a chaotic environment of anger, abuse and anxiety, with either a domineering abusive or alcoholic parent or parents.

    stress can create anxiety, anger and a desperate urge to control others

    Here are some common characteristics of a control freak:

    Highly critical
    Always needs to be right
    Doesnít listen
    Gives orders
    Tells you what to do and how to live your life
    Doesnít really see or hear you
    Dishes out guilt
    Often anxious and tends to create anxiety for others
    Is tense and terse often
    Seeks to win an argument rather than find a solution
    Is a perfectionist and expects the same from others
    Responds harshly to being questioned

    weapons of control freaks

    1.Rage and threats
    one of the more efficient means of controlling another person is intimidation. The control freak can throw an impressive fit. They will use their volume, size and strength to bully others into doing what they want

    2. Exaggeration
    A control freak will blow the smallest thing out of proportion. They will exaggerate their positive performance and your failures to manipulate the situation.

    Guilt is a favorite weapon of the control freak. The masters can make you feel guilty without batting an eye. It can be used in almost any situation and is effective


    Withholding attention and affection is another tool of the control freak. If you donít do what I like, then Iíll freeze you out. Of course, withdrawal can also take the form of physical absence.

    Passive-aggressive behavior is devious. It involves things like intentional procrastination and stubbornness. An example might be intentionally failing to mail an important application until it is overdue and make you to miss the event

    The intent is to make others weak and dependent.ruin their self-confidence is a technique many control freaks use

    Most ďcontrol freaksĒ are unhappy and insecure people who donít understand how their words and actions can affect others

    here are 30 tips for dealing with control freaks.

    1.If you feel you are in any form of danger, itís best you avoid such people or secure the help of friends family, policeÖÖ

    2.Behave consistently calm and patient with them. Getting angry just doesnít work.

    3. If it has become abusive, take a break and move on in your life.

    4.Monitor their anxiety levels. Control freaks have no coping skills when stressed and that could explain why they flare up at times.

    5.Always find a way out of the grasps of a control freak.

    6. Create friendly banter/humour.

    7. Make decisions and stand by them.

    8. Stay focused on your job, health and other important things that concern you.

    9. Show a bit of assertiveness in your dealings with them.

    10. Summon the courage to walk away.

    11. Work on developing the necessary will power to take action.

    12. Set boundaries and stick to them. Donít agree to demands that are propagated by his/her fears.

    13. Express yourself clearly and constructively stating how you feel about a particular event . Make sure you keep it simple and avoid arguing.

    14. Engage in deep and meaningful conversations.

    15. Seek the help of a professional counsellor, psychotherapist, police, and social services if necessary.

    16.Build your self esteem.

    17. Always stand your ground in any encounter.

    18. Avoid panicking and learn to use your intuition.

    19. Donít have unrealistic expectations of a change in their behaviour.

    20. Know your limits and how much you can tolerate.

    21. Always remain confident in your approach.

    22. Sometimes silence is actually golden.

    23 Figure out what triggers their outbursts.

    24. Always organize and prioritize your work schedules.

    25. Recognize your skills, talents and contribution to the work force or building a relationship.

    26. Be proud of who you are. Appreciate your beauty, good looks, friends, family.

    27 Donít settle for less.

    28. Work on your vulnerability.

    29 Try spotting subtle suggestions, ideas or love advances which are bent on manipulating you.

    30. Have optimistic thoughts about your future once you break free from a dangerous.

    Life is the sum of all your choices.


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  2. #2
    deepat is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Re: Beware of control freaks

    my husband and sister in law are control freaks , i feel endangered by them but I am not able to avoid them.please advise

  3. #3
    FortuneAg is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Re: Beware of control freaks

    We have to analyse the behaviour of such people and get a strategy to handle them...
    Make sure they don't affect us emotianally...else life will be miserable...
    Be bold always...exhibit your confidence and show that you are not shaken by their words..
    Even if nothing works, jst ignoring them will make them realise you don't respect if they msbhave...
    Never feel guilty or grateful to them...its like falling into their pit again...its your life...live it up...



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