rule for being men
Discussions on "rule for being men" in "Married Life" forum.
7th Feb 2015, 04:26 PM #1Newbie
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
rule for being men
i want one clarification. i am working as senior analyst in mnc company. my husband also working in it company. we both are working. but considering house hold works my husband don't do anything. he simply sits and watch the tv or doing something in his laptop. he not even do a simple work. more ever i need to help him for getting ready to office. if i asks him for any help he simply says its your work my dear, i can't help you. it is bit annoying right. should women only do all works? can't men help?
9th Feb 2015, 03:06 PM #2
Re: rule for being men
Welcome to Penmai....Pooja.
Yes...what you are saying may be true with many men.
If husbands do not help in household works for their working wife, it will really be annoying and very tiresome.
But there is no other go. Most of the Indian men are brought up by their parents only in this way, not to help in the household works.
But lots and lots of men have changed nowadays even if they are never used to do them. They do help their wife in their works at home and by looking after the children.
Now, coming to your problem, what you can do is,
One day, in a leisure time, you may sit and talk to him about all the issues.
Tell him that you find it very difficult to handle all the household works alone , along with the office works.
Tell him that he also knows the pressure and tension in working for the IT companies.
And if only he helps you to some extent at home, you will be able to handle everything smoothly.
Later, if you give birth to children, much more tiresome works are awaiting you. So, from now on, he should learn to help you little by little.
Also tell him that, after all he is helping/doing only his house's works and every work will be handled well if he is lending his hand in them.
Also tell him that, you will have to skip some of the routine works due to your pressure & tension.So, In order to finish everything intact, you need his help badly.
If still he is not helping you, you may skip one or two works in between and tell him that you are not able to handle them singly.
For sure, these talks, your pleads, everything will make him lean towards you and he will surely start helping you.
Once he starts helping you, the main mantra you should follow is, whatever work he does, your immediate reaction should be "very nice". And you may also thank him then and there for his works.
These words will surely please him and will continue to help you always.
Initially, even if he does any shabby works or not able to understand the way to work, for example, if he prepares coffee for you, even if it is not nice, you don't tell or shout at him for that.
Tell him, "it is very nice, but the next time when you prepare the coffee with some more sugar or anything else, it will be fantastic". similarly, you can teach him about the works.
If you shout at his inability, he will never help you further.
Never find fault with any of his activities even if you are angry. Immediately drink some water and your anger will subside a little.
you can follow the same technique with anyone else also being it your husband or your children or any one else, by praising them even for their simple activity. This will give a boost to them.
Initially, start with the help for handling the Washing machine or any other simple works.
All the best. Everything is in your pleasant words. They can do magic.
You can click the below link to know the tips handle the works easily. Another friend had asked for the suggestions
time management - work, cooking, peace
Last edited by jv_66; 9th Feb 2015 at 03:09 PM.Jayanthy
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