Sponsored Links
Sponsored Links
Penmai eMagazine November! | All Issues

User Tag List

Like Tree36Likes

need help about my husband attitude


Discussions on "need help about my husband attitude" in "Married Life" forum.


  1. #1
    dazzydaffodil is offline Newbie
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    india
    Posts
    4

    need help about my husband attitude

    Hi penmaiz,

    I am six years married now only got conceived, from the beginning myself and my husband r not in very good terms..we both recently got moved into joined family due to in-laws forced. I am now facing a peculiar problem , my co-sister that's my husband sbrother wife s trying to seduce my husband, I openly asked my husband whether he sights that girl . till now he refuses but Iccould figure out he responds to it.. Not even showing interest on my pregnancy , I am confused in my life. Girls help me

    Similar Threads:

    Sponsored Links

  2. #2
    priya ravi's Avatar
    priya ravi is offline Friends's of Penmai
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Kuala lumpur
    Posts
    191

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    Hi

    Ignore ur co sister and husbands reaction for time being.. enjoy ur pregnancy and don't let others spoil it.. Stay strong and when u bring out that don't care attitude, people change the way they look at u.. Just think of urself and ur little one alone now..

    If living at in laws house becomes miserable during pregnancy, move to ur parents house stating delivery or rest .. start building ur career in the meantime ..

    stay strong..


  3. #3
    madhu001 is offline Friends's of Penmai
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    chennai
    Posts
    280

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    Living in the same house as a joint family , one might suspect wrongly behind others intentions....First clear your head and be friendly with your in-laws and husband. Be cheerful and trust your husband. Pretend like you don't notice such things.

    If you still strongly believe about your co-sister , catch her red-handed....with some proof , talk to your husband's brother , mother in law about that..and get out of that joint family system with your husband.

    Meanwhile be stress-free..You are not doing anything bad here..


  4. #4
    sathya88's Avatar
    sathya88 is offline Citizen's of Penmai
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Ramnad
    Posts
    524

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    hi dazzy, congrats on your pregnancy first! Enjoy your pregnancy and know that unga thoughts are registered to your baby so be stressless. At the same time this is your life and he is your husband you have all rights on him. entha soozhnilaiyilum avara vittukodukka mudiyathu.

    there are 50 - 50 chances that either it may be untrue or true.

    think 1st untrue, if it is untrue you are spoiling two families with your inlaws too their future life and all.

    so be careful in handling the situation

    coming to the 2nd chance there both gents and ladies like this character. If they are like that then you have catch them red-handed (as said by madhu) and prove to your mother in law and father in law first then go to your brother in law.

    in this case, i think no possibility to continue the relation after this. so think and act. dont show your doubt to anyone without proof it will worsen the situation only.

    all the best for your life.


  5. #5
    dazzydaffodil is offline Newbie
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    india
    Posts
    4

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    Hi all thanks for the replies.. Now the situation z my hubby reported his parents about my doubt and none of the fault went in the side.. Both our parents argued and now I CME to my birthplca , but I know why I am observing s correct but no proof, I am scared abt my life.. If anything went wrong I am one suffering ' praying god that they both shld not cross boundaries.. Girls one thing very sutre she s trying to seduce my husband by exposes her cleavage.. But she s criminal mind not yet caught, no one belvs me ..


  6. #6
    RathideviDeva is offline Registered User
    Blogger
    Minister's of Penmai
    Real Name
    ரதி
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,092
    Blog Entries
    11

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    Quote Originally Posted by dazzydaffodil View Post
    Hi all thanks for the replies.. Now the situation z my hubby reported his parents about my doubt and none of the fault went in the side.. Both our parents argued and now I CME to my birthplca , but I know why I am observing s correct but no proof, I am scared abt my life.. If anything went wrong I am one suffering ' praying god that they both shld not cross boundaries.. Girls one thing very sutre she s trying to seduce my husband by exposes her cleavage.. But she s criminal mind not yet caught, no one belvs me ..
    பிரச்சனை இப்ப இன்னும் சிக்கலாகிடுச்சு . சரி இப்போதைக்கு ஒரு வழியும் இல்லை. அதுனால கொஞ்சம் பொறுமையா இருங்க.

    மொதல உங்க கணவர் மேல நம்பிக்கை வைங்க. மனசுல உங்கள பத்தின சுயமதிப்பீட(self - esteem ) உயர்த்துங்க. நீங்க யாரோடையும் எந்த விதத்திலையும் குறைந்தவங்க இல்ல. இத திரும்ப திரும்ப உங்க மனசுல ஆழப்பதிய முயற்சி செய்ங்க. இதெல்லாம் தான் உங்களுக்குள் இருக்குற பாதுகாப்பற்ற (insecured ) மன நிலைய மாத்தும். இந்த மாற்றம் தான் உங்களுக்கு மத்தவங்க மேல உள்ள பார்வையும், உங்க மேல மத்தவகளுக்கு இருக்கும் பார்வையும் மாற பாதை வகுக்கும்.

    உங்களுக்கு அவங்க மேல நம்பிக்கை வரலைனாலும் , பொதுவா நிறைய பேர் இருக்குற கூட்டுக்குடும்பத்தில், தப்பு நடக்க வாய்ப்பு ரொம்ப கம்மி. இன்னொண்ணு, இப்ப குற்றச்சாட்டு சபைல வந்துட்டனால, இனி தப்பு நடந்தா மத்தவங்க பார்வைல இருந்து தப்ப முடியாது. அதனால உங்க கற்பனை குதிரைக்கு கொஞ்சம் கடிவாளம் இடுங்க. (worst case scenario) தப்பே நடந்தாலும் இப்போதைக்கு சூழ்நிலையில உங்களால ஒன்னும் பண்ண முடியாது.

    இப்போதைக்கு, நம் தோழிகள் சொன்ன மாதிரி , உங்கள் முழு கவனமும் குழந்தை மீது தான் இருக்கணும். அம்மா வீட்ல தயவு செய்து சும்மா மட்டும் இருக்காதீங்க. "சும்மா இருக்கும் மனம் சாத்தானின் இருப்பிடம்" , அதனால நல்ல விஷயங்கள மட்டும் கேளுங்க, படிங்க, பாருங்க. முக்கியமா டிவி சீரியல் மட்டும் பாக்காதீங்க. உங்க குழந்தைய பத்தி கனவு காணுங்க. எதாவது செஞ்சிக்கிட்டு உங்கள பிஸியா வச்சுக்கோங்க. ஆன்மீகத்தில நம்பிக்கை இருந்தா, கடவுள் மீது பாரத்த போட்டுட்டு, நிம்மதியா இருக்க முயற்சி பண்ணுங்க. அப்படி இல்லனாலும், எந்த ப்ரிச்சனை வந்தாலும் நம்ம சமாளிக்கலாம்னு நம்புங்க.

    உங்க கணவர் நிரபராதியா இருந்தா, நீங்க செய்ற தப்புக்கு மன்னிப்பு கிடைக்கிறது கஷ்டம். அதனால மேலும் மேலும் இத பத்தி பேசி, உங்க கணவரையும், மற்றவங்களையும் குறை சொல்லி , இந்த பிரச்சனைய இன்னும் சிக்கலாக்கிகாதிங்க.

    காலம் தான் எல்லாவற்றுக்கும் தீர்வு. சிறிது நாள் பிரிவு உங்க இருவருக்கும் நல்ல புரிதலை கொடுக்கும்னு நம்புங்க.

    உங்கள் வாழ்க்கையில் சூழ்ந்துள்ள, இந்த தற்காலிக இருள் நீங்கி, நீங்கள் வெகு விரைவில், உங்கள் குழந்தை , கணவருடன் சந்தோஷமாக வாழ வாழ்த்துகிறேன்.

    Last edited by RathideviDeva; 24th Apr 2015 at 05:48 AM.

  7. #7
    sathya88's Avatar
    sathya88 is offline Citizen's of Penmai
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Ramnad
    Posts
    524

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    hi, so sad to hear your situations. you didnt mentioned whether you went to your birthplace for your pregnancy time or because of the fight.

    If it is because of fight, please do clear it immediately with the help of parents and in laws. if you left it may create problems in future.

    If you went for pregnancy, please do call your husband and inlaws and talk asusual and convey. if your husband is not showing interest, then you can tell him gently by asking him to come with you for check ups.

    If needed you can go for counselling to psychologist with your husband to save both of your life.

    All the best.


  8. #8
    dazzydaffodil is offline Newbie
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    india
    Posts
    4

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    Hi all,
    Thanks for the reply, wright now I am staying with my parents I came here early bcz of the fight, so far its been one month none called me or visited my place .. My parents r worried about my life.. My in-laws r provoking my husband and making him rude... My parents said u don't call we all notice howthe y r behaving in the forthcoming Months.. Once baby s born we will talk with them..my worry s if he s this much careless about me, how secured my life gonna be, I CNT marry again nor I CNT live alone due to many constraints.. What to do girls... Will these people change after seeing baby..


  9. #9
    RathideviDeva is offline Registered User
    Blogger
    Minister's of Penmai
    Real Name
    ரதி
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,092
    Blog Entries
    11

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    Quote Originally Posted by dazzydaffodil View Post
    Will these people change after seeing baby..
    Hello friend @dazzydaffodil,
    Before you expect others to change, first check what you can do to change yourself( this is the only thing, you can control). You still have negative thoughts and you are worrying too much. This not only impacts you, it also impacts the baby. How many months left for your delivery. Will there be any valaikaappu function?

    As Sathya said, if your husband is not talking, you initiate the conversation. Invite him for routine scans. Seeing the baby in the scan image, would make both of you forget any issues. But before doing this, try to trust your husband. Without trust, you cannot move forward. If you are not able to trust him, seek counsellors help. First you go alone, as your husband might not accompany you, in the beginning. Just because, you are asked to get counsellors help, doesn't mean that you are to be blamed for the entire issue. For any current issue, there might have been past sequence of events, which might have lead upto this. Clear your mind of any negative thoughts. THis is not easy. Thats why we need professional help. You only need to close the gap between you and your husband, atleast for the baby's sake.

    Best regards,
    Rathi

    Last edited by RathideviDeva; 30th Apr 2015 at 01:14 PM.
    sumathisrini and jv_66 like this.

  10. #10
    dazzydaffodil is offline Newbie
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    india
    Posts
    4

    Re: need help about my husband attitude

    Hi,
    Actually we already had one set of counselling before one year itself, the said he's Ina very controlling environment, without getting permission from his parents he will not even to go from home.. My ILS doesn't like the opposition from my family for joint family so they slightly started not allowing there son to talk or ingle with any body in my family side.. Four months left to my pregnancy , there's no function custom in my inls side.. My parents wants to talk again with them before sending me to them with thebaby.. I got very hurt when the s arrogance behavior with me though I am pregnant.. Basically his mom will never allowed both of us to go alone even for medical Check up she will accompany us, even for buying inner wear for me he asks his mother.. Now I came after the fight so I am not sure whether he comes if so may be with his. Mom... I am fully upset to call him..

    jv_66 and RathideviDeva like this.

loading...

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Like It?
Share It!







Follow Penmai on Twitter