Effects of cyber world in Relationship

Tthe virtual world taking over the bedroom space completely and making a couple 'together alone'..It is the modern trend.

Year 1870: A woman lying on the bed could just dream about the stunning looking lady, who passed by her while her spouse and she were busy waiting to board a bus, stealing her husband from her.

Year 2011: A woman dreads not that beguiling seductress, but the cyber world to catch hold of her man, get him addicted such that he spares all his attention to it.

This seems the plight of most women of this era. Not being gender specific here. It's a crisis every spouse, who feels that their partner is playing better half to gadgets, faces. The term for being someone who is disowned because of technology is a cyber widow or widower.

the case of a married couple where the husband would be glued to downloading porn after he gets home back from work. He would also have weird sexual fantasies and would reveal them to his wife, who found it inappropriate.

Another case file states a wife, who gets back home and is constantly on her Blackberry (BB). She's so engrossed checking her mails even when her spouse is around, that they hardly spend time together.

A recent British tabloid mentions the case of a seven-months pregnant, Victoria, who left her husband Craig claiming that that her relationship disintegrated because he would only be adhered to his gadgets. Psychologists term this phase 'being together alone' and state that apparently networking tools such as facebook are responsible for at least a 20-30 per cent rise in divorce cases.

Since this problem has now turned into a world-wide epidemic, let's take a look at the reasons for the same.

1.t technology has advanced to an extent that it has replaced one-on-one communication. Due to social networking, there are more outlets to communicate through technology. This causes greater levels of distraction in personal relationships. one tends to get so preoccupied with their gadget that there is no lucid time spent with the spouse, making them feel that the other is always unwilling to discuss any domestic matters.

2. Communication via social networking tends to become an addiction without realisation. technology seduces more than the spouse. the breakdowns in communication with spouse is what gets technology to take the lead.

3. BB affairs or affairs on the net (flirting virtually without emotional baggage) has become common among people. Anonymity helps disclose more secrets. Thus to discuss problems with a stranger seems more appealing. Some people, who are verbally inexpressive, turn candid and expressive in the virtual world.

4. , "Some get attached to technology to escape problems they face with their spouse."

5. Boredom in the relationship triggers being involved with a stranger in the cyber world. "At times it could be to avoid having sex. When the wife wants to cuddle up on bed, the husband says he's busy working on his gadget."

Here's what can happen:

1. Sexual intimacy gets distracted. The spouse is too busy with his/her gadget that he/she doesn't have the time to enjoy sex.

2. The spouse donates more energy to work, even after getting back home; thus hampering togetherness time with their partner.

3. There's nagging involved too, by constantly viewing others' profile and keeping a track of their lives, the spouse wants their better half to ape what someone else is doing for their partners.

4. Emotional connect fizzes out in the long run.

Here's THE SOS guide:
1. Make sure you don't fight it out, instead talk it out.

2. "Ask him/her if they is upset about something. Show concern but do not nag. Let them know that whenever they need to discuss anything, you are around."

3. Spend time with spouse. Make them feel important and spark it up by being together on weekends, going for that road trip you wished for long or just trying all your favourite things together.

4. Recognise it is an addiction even if your spouse denies. you to check for signs like; he/she can't go to the washroom without his/her gadget; gets restless and irritated if there's a rupture in communication through the virtual medium or their gadget stops working. Decide to deal with their addiction. Keep a log book, everytime they're avoiding you so they check their mails, chat online with friends or have a time out with their beloved gadget. And most importantly let them know about it.

5. make bedroom rules; keep phone away or switched that gadget off while at home. It can be difficult but trying it will only help. Ask them to try by keeping the phone on silent, so they don't constantly hear the beep and become restless to answer to those messages or mails.

6. Try rekindling your live relationship in the virtual world. it is fun to use technology to reconnect. If your spouse is constantly on chat, you too can do the same by chatting him/her through an online medium so you can kick off a fun evening. But then seduce him/her way soon (get back to the real world) and don't end up making love via chat. Also avoid making this a habit.

7. Before things turn bitter, seek professional help.

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