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career or family


Discussions on "career or family" in "Married Life" forum.


  1. #1
    gomuvishu is offline Newbie
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    career or family

    which is important career or family? i am newly married but having disturbance from my in laws that i should not work.

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  2. #2
    priya ravi's Avatar
    priya ravi is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: career or family

    A generic question faced by almost by every woman.. Be it newly married or just started with parenting, all factors to be considered for answer to this question.. Iam not sure which case u fit from the below -

    Case 1 : Nuclear family and husband is supportive and feels career is important for a women and her family, then u can start focussing on ur job without worrying about rest..

    Case 2 : Joint family and husband is alone supportive, go ahead with ur career but u should be able to manage both the tasks at ease to get their support as well..

    Case 3: Nuclear/Joint family and husband too not supportive, rare case bcoz before marriage u guys would have talked about whether to work or not and marriage wouldnt have happened at ur end if he had asked u to stop working.. or the worst case he supported intially and backfired now..

    In these case, u can convince with the following -
    a) work for a certain period of time and if they are not satisfied with how u manage ur family, u will quit
    b) work till baby arrives
    c)monetary commitment in the name of loans, that both need to work

    Just a note , if u choose career, give the same focus to ur family too and for the other way if u choose family, consider this a learning period for ur career and use the time well..

    Good luck..


  3. #3
    sumathisrini's Avatar
    sumathisrini is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Re: career or family

    Good analysis & nicely advised @priya ravi, thanks much.

    priya ravi and jv_66 like this.

  4. #4
    RathideviDeva is offline Registered User
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    Re: career or family

    Well said @priya ravi

    priya ravi, sumathisrini and jv_66 like this.

  5. #5
    gomuvishu is offline Newbie
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    Re: career or family

    thank you priya i have gained some knowledge. yes my husband is supporting me, but my inlaws are not supporting. my husband said that we can have baby after a year. but my inlaws now itself asking for baby. i even don't know whether to tell this (my husband plan for baby) to them or not. he also said till a year or till you get pregnant you can go for work. i don't have any financial problem just to spend my time useful i thought to go to work.

    i had applied in few companies may be i think that i will get a call by next week. i have plan that if i got selected in company then i can tell this to my inlaws. i said this to my husband he too said ok. am right priya?? or nowitself have to talk with this to my inlaws.

    Quote Originally Posted by priya ravi View Post
    A generic question faced by almost by every woman.. Be it newly married or just started with parenting, all factors to be considered for answer to this question.. Iam not sure which case u fit from the below -

    Case 1 : Nuclear family and husband is supportive and feels career is important for a women and her family, then u can start focussing on ur job without worrying about rest..

    Case 2 : Joint family and husband is alone supportive, go ahead with ur career but u should be able to manage both the tasks at ease to get their support as well..

    Case 3: Nuclear/Joint family and husband too not supportive, rare case bcoz before marriage u guys would have talked about whether to work or not and marriage wouldnt have happened at ur end if he had asked u to stop working.. or the worst case he supported intially and backfired now..

    In these case, u can convince with the following -
    a) work for a certain period of time and if they are not satisfied with how u manage ur family, u will quit
    b) work till baby arrives
    c)monetary commitment in the name of loans, that both need to work

    Just a note , if u choose career, give the same focus to ur family too and for the other way if u choose family, consider this a learning period for ur career and use the time well..

    Good luck..


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  6. #6
    priya ravi's Avatar
    priya ravi is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: career or family

    Hi Gomu

    Once u get the job, u can inform ur inlaws.. Till the time, u both can be tension free without arguments.. when u speak to them, inform them that u and ur husband had mutually decided to work for a year or till pregnancy..

    As u had mentioned "just to spend my time usefully, going to work", so just don't strain yourself about work.. working alone is not the option for spending time useful, there are lot of home science classes which can be very much useful.. u can enroll for these too...

    good luck..

    sumathisrini and jv_66 like this.

  7. #7
    meeraratnam is offline Newbie
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    Re: career or family

    The answer is what you need. Money is important and so is family. If you really want to work, perhaps until you have kids you can. However, a mother should be for her child in the first 3-4 years of life. Then you could work part time. If you are working for spending time, you could do that from home itself

    Manam undanal idam undu


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