6 Love myths debunked!
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2nd Feb 2012, 02:50 AM #1
6 Love myths debunked!
6 Love myths debunked!
Alchemists in ancient Egypt believed that, with some extra effort, they could turn any base material into gold. While the plausibility of that theory had been debunked before the end of the Egyptian civilization itself, the 21st century's global citizens too are engaged in a fool's pursuit of something that is much valued over gold in this day and age - love. Blame it on popular media or our search for perfection in everything that we have built an aura of mystery around a feeling as simple and basic as falling in love. Maybe it's about time we debunked a few of these myths that have been weighing down the modernday love alchemist's pursuit of happiness.
Myth: Opposites attract
Fact: They might, if it's convenient The social misfit falls for the prom queen; the princess is in love with a common thief and a millionaire risks all for the love of an escort. Such stories sound magical and would make you gush. Not to burst your bubble, but such a perfect union of two opposing characters happens only in either fairytales or a John Hughes movie! Relationships are about getting our own needs met, often on an unconscious basis. In other words, we try to find someone who is complementary to us and can help us learn, heal and grow.
Myth: Love at first sight
Fact: Been single a long time, huh? Ever been caught in a situation where you've just met someone and by the time you're done with the first conversation, you're already imagining having kids with that person? Call it love at first sight, a major crush or lustbased reactions; this feeling's been celebrated for quite some time, with even Shakespeare writing about it. But yet again, he also said "love is blind". Sure, it's possible to be absolutely smitten with someone in the first meeting itself. We all nurse the dream of finding a partner and no matter how vehemently we choose to be single, our subconscious is on an eternal hunt for a partner. While in most cases, factors ranging from good looks to olfactory reactions come into play in this matchmaking process, possibilities of it happening are less if you are tired, stressed or trying to solve work issues in your head. So, does that make falling in love as random as we believe it to be?
Myth: Men have to make the first move
Fact: Seriously ladies, this is the 21st century. All bets are off! So here's a question. In a world where we celebrate single mothers and highly-positioned career women, what's the big deal if a woman makes the first move with a guy she's attracted to? Sure, most women worry about what the man would think. And true that, ladies; a lot of men would be intimidated but don't let the rotten eggs screw it up for you. The fact's simple; we live in a world that moves at a pace which is not feasible for those who worry about what someone else would think. In any case, what's the worst that could happen? The guy would judge you, right? That way you'd at least know that he's not worth the trouble in the first place.
Myth: You fall in love only once
Fact: You actually believe that? We've all been brought up believing that we're destined to find a mate and have our own happily ever after love stories; and those who've grown up to the Dil To Pagal Hai breed of romance, erroneously tend to believe that we're all created in pairs. And when the time comes, we meet them, and Pop! goes the weasel. Honestly, that's nonsense. We all expect different things from a partner at different points in our lives.
Myth: A good relationship is incredibly romantic
Fact: You should seriously stop watching too many chick flicks. Yes, your life with your partner should include plenty of romance. But don't expect an unrealistic fairytale. In the real world, being in love is not like falling in love. Falling in love is only the first stage of a relationship. A mature relationship will shift from the initial butterflies in your stomach to a more secure love. Don't make the common mistake of thinking that you aren't in love anymore when the initial passion fades away.
Myth: Happy couples don't fight.
Fact: Unless you're Romeo and Juliet! Conflict is a fact of life in most relationships and isn't necessarily a bad thing. Arguing can actually help the relationship by releasing tension and instilling a sense of trust that comes from knowing that you can express feelings without being abandoned. In fact, you need to be concerned if you've never had an argument with your partner. Well, you know what they say; you're only bothered by the words of those you genuinely care about; a cliched line, absolutely, but true nevertheless! Plus, you can always kiss and make up... Maybe you're just a little tired of the elaborate mating rituals that you have to go through, but it takes patience and time to find out the true nature of your feelings. If you have met someone and suddenly felt the wings behind your back, make sure that you don't fly too high on wax wings like Icarus because in the process of taking illusions for reality, it could result in a painful free fall back to the ground.
The magic is not about falling in love; it's about being in love . . . and it's as simple as that.