Sponsored Links
Sponsored Links
Penmai eMagazine November! | All Issues

User Tag List

Like Tree4246Likes

COMMENTS Thread for Arranged marriage couple's stories


Discussions on "COMMENTS Thread for Arranged marriage couple's stories" in "My Better half" forum.


  1. #181
    lavanyap's Avatar
    lavanyap is offline Registered User
    Blogger
    Guru's of Penmai
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    UAE
    Posts
    7,046
    Blog Entries
    202

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Quote Originally Posted by Shalini_S View Post
    Hi all, these stories in the love marriage and arranged marriage threads, have inspired me to write mine too...but I was not sure which thread my story will go into. But I eventually decided on the arranged marriage thread. You will understand when you read my story. I am warning you it will be very long and may be a bit boring. Not much romance until after our marriage. Ha ha.
    Part1:
    Some background about me:
    I am a very independent girl. Older of two daughters to my parents. Middle class family. Konjam strict, konjam lenient depending on situation. In my school days someone proposed to me...he was a good person, but as I grew older and more mature, I realized that we were not suited for each other. Example, he was an only son and he pretty much expected a wife that took care of him like his mother did. I on the other hand am very ambitious and wanted to have a successful career for myself, wanted my husband and I to be equal partners in the marriage. Nothing wrong with his expectation, but at 16 years age even I did not know what I wanted and eventually, after 4 years I slowly started understanding myself. SO it ended. I felt terrible to break his heart, but had to break up for the sake of both of our lives. He is now happily married to a girl who is much prettier than me and is also a homemaker - perfect match for him

    Coming to me After that event in my life, I was very skeptic about finding the right person. But I was very sure that I will not compromise. I made a list of criteria for my future husband. I felt that there is nothing superficial or wrong in being practical. Here is a partial list in no particular order of importance:
    1. He should be at least 5' 10" tall
    2. Should be as educated or more educated than me.
    3. Should be same religion as me (Definitely practical and can avoid many many problems)
    4. Decent family back ground.
    5. Does not have to have family money or wealth but should be in a good personal financial position (good paying job or business)
    6. Should be fluent in English
    7. Should be very broad minded and should be a person who would treat wife as an equal partner and a best friend.
    8. Should be at least 4 - 5 yrs older than me. (Because only then he will be as mature or more mature than me and that will make me respect him)
    9. Should like music - at least just to listen. (Easy condition right? )
    10. Should have a sense of humor.
    11. Should have a sense of some romance at least...
    12. We both should have good Chemistry.

    Will continue...

    Hi shalini,
    u have narrated in a gud way...
    but too much of conditions...
    does ur better half fulfills ur condition...



    Sponsored Links
    Last edited by lavanyap; 18th Sep 2012 at 05:22 PM.

  2. #182
    Priyakash's Avatar
    Priyakash is offline Minister's of Penmai
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Coimbatore
    Posts
    4,707

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Well Shalini!!!! It's a eight wonder that u were still level headed even after that so called "Thunder bolt" hit...

    Do mention the characteristics of your man, so that we can understand how your practical criteria's just fell off(I'm actually revisiting your criteria's to check if he had got a tick mark against that point...) and you joined the "Head over Heels in Love" club....

    -Priya

  3. #183
    mahara is offline Friends's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Jothi
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    chicago
    Posts
    123

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Wow .. nice thread .. like it very much


  4. #184
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Jayanthy
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Bangalore
    Posts
    31,985

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    JOTHI,

    Apuram ennapa aachu.........seekram sollunga.......

    Jayanthy





  5. #185
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Jayanthy
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Bangalore
    Posts
    31,985

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Quote Originally Posted by Shalini_S View Post
    Part 3 - Final

    Then that Saturday came and I was so nervous...I chose a light yellow chiffon salwar after a long time to decide what to wear...I was waiting at home since I was ready more than 30 mins before the time we had set. The restaurant was just 5 mins from my apartment. Then he called me and said he'll be there in 20 mins. After some more painful minutes of waiting, I left to the restaurant...as I was parking the car I saw two guys getting out of another car, but i didn't pay much attention as that was an Indian restaurant and many indians come there...I was struggling to park the car properly as I was very nervous...then finally I got out of the car and those two guys were looking directly at me...one guy was sooooo tall the other guy shorter..Now I knew Leo was 5' 11" but the tall guy did not look anything like the picture...then I saw the shorter guy and realized he is the one in the picture...then I realized the taller guy was very very tall like 6.7 thats why Leo looked shorter he had brought his friend with him so that I wont feel too uncomfortable to meet some guy alone so Sweet and decent of him no? Then I gave a tentative smile at them and we moved into the restaurant...they both made me feel very comfortable, just like a casual meeting with friends..we chatted about politics and movies etc. nothing serious. Then after we were done with lunch, I invited them both to my apartment for coffee or something... they then followed my car and I served some drinks...then his friend Karthik got a phone call and he went outside pretending signal reception was weak inside. Now we were left alone He smiled and told me he is going to call his dad tonight. I asked him what that meant...he said it means he wants to get married to me as soon as possible (I am on cloud nine) Then he asked what about me? I said "what what abt me? " He said "will you talk to your parents?" " I said "I already have and they know every detail about him" He just smiled and said ok its time to leave I will call you once I reach my friend's place in Ohio. And then he got up and walked towards the door...I got up too and before he left the outside door he turned back and gave me a smile, a smile that was meant only for me...I thought I was going to faint. And I knew that moment that no matter how mature we get and how practical we try to be, love just sneaks up on us. I was so in love that even though I knew so little about him I didn't care. I just knew he was my soulmate and I could imagine having kids and getting old with him and I could not imagne anyone else in that place...
    The rest is history, he spoke to his dad that night and his dad really liked my family background etc. He emailed my photos to his brother and his whole family liked me! My brother in law was so sweet he censored all the pictures I was wearing jeans and skirts and only showed his parents the pics where I wore saree, salwar etc. My in-laws know that wearing western outfits is not a big deal these days, but still when they see a would be daughter in law for the first time they would prefer to see her in saree no? My arumai husband didn't know all that. But luckily my BIL did and my in-laws liked the pictures a lot. Same with my family...My father typical of a girls father secretly arranged to 'visarichufy' about his family and found that they were very much to his liking and satisfaction, although they were a little bit financialy not up to us. My dad asked me if I was ok with that? I said we both are educated and can have good financial security in a few years, why should I worry about whether his family has money or not. My dad again adviced me to think more because he still has a sister not yet married, his younger brother is not yet settled etc. I was too much in love to think about all that. I told him I will manage all that. So he was ok. He liked the family overall so this money issue was not a big one for him too.

    The only sad part was they fixed our marriage date to 8 months later!! His dad said they would keep looking for an alliance for Leo's sister and if anything works its fine otherwise our wedding will take place on the fixed date. Actually they did not find a match for his sister until after our wedding,. Then I made it a point to look for her and found a great match for her. She got married exactky 1 yr after our wedding.
    So its 6 1/2 years now and we have a 3 1/2 yr old vaalu ponnu. Its as though we just met yesterday. So in love with my husband and you know what? He meets every single one of my conditions even though I did not know it when I met him

    Very nice Shalini........somehow, you are destined to your husband who also fufilled all your CONDITIONS......

    Jayanthy





  6. #186
    harsne's Avatar
    harsne is offline Friends's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Harsne.S
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Chennai
    Posts
    236

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    hi Jothi,

    Read your post.So nice ma...Short and sweet ah eluthireenga..






    HARSNE

    Be yourself..Everyone else is already taken...

  7. #187
    harsne's Avatar
    harsne is offline Friends's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Harsne.S
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Chennai
    Posts
    236

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Hi shalini,

    very nice posts ma..

    You have thought practically and framed conditions.But unknowingly u have fallen in love on seeing his photo itself. Athunala than positiveslam highlight ayiruku unga mindla....itha vena arrange cum love marriagenu sollalama..?

    My best wishes to your family...especially to your daughter..

    HARSNE

    Be yourself..Everyone else is already taken...

  8. #188
    mahara is offline Friends's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Jothi
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    chicago
    Posts
    123

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Quote Originally Posted by harsne View Post
    hi Jothi,

    Read your post.So nice ma...Short and sweet ah eluthireenga..




    Thanks Dear , Glad you liked it


  9. #189
    harsne's Avatar
    harsne is offline Friends's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Harsne.S
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Chennai
    Posts
    236

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Quote Originally Posted by mahara View Post
    Our personalities are just opposite.
    he is talkative, i am shy.
    he is modern but i am traditional.
    he likes non-veg, i am veg.
    he like pets, i am scared of them.
    he never get angry, I am short tempered.
    List goes on ... but we like and love each other so much , We are happily married for 10 years with 2 kids (boy and girl).
    Chandrasekar engira chandu become my chandumma ..

    Thanks,
    Jothi ChandraSekar
    Opposite poles attract each other... my ward regards to u dear...

    HARSNE

    Be yourself..Everyone else is already taken...

  10. #190
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
    Real Name
    Jayanthy
    Gender
    Female
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Bangalore
    Posts
    31,985

    Re: Special thread for Arranged Marriage Couples

    Quote Originally Posted by mahara View Post
    in earlier days company itself take care of l2 dependent visa, we need to just give the marriage certificate and go to the company to sign the papers. We don't go to embassy. But it takes few weeks to get the visa approval. Chandru didn't want me to come alone to usa after marriage.so we decided to do register marriage before the actual marriage and move the visa process. I actually meet him in person on the day of our register marriage . I don't have words to explain what i felt that day.
    Our personalities are just opposite.
    He is talkative, i am shy.
    He is modern but i am traditional.
    He likes non-veg, i am veg.
    He like pets, i am scared of them.
    He never get angry, i am short tempered.
    List goes on ... But we like and love each other so much , we are happily married for 10 years with 2 kids (boy and girl).
    Chandrasekar engira chandu become my chandumma ..

    thanks,
    jothi chandrasekar
    wow!!!!!!!!! Super..........jothi

    Jayanthy





loading...

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Like It?
Share It!







Follow Penmai on Twitter