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Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement


Discussions on "Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement" in "My Better half" forum.


  1. #1
    jv_66's Avatar
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    Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    Tips to Talk with your Fiance after engagement


    Once a man and a woman gets engaged for their marriage,in case if it is an arranged one,then it is very common to share their views and talks over phone, mail and sometimes through personal meetings.

    Both the man and the woman may have some hesitations, as how and what to talk with their fiance. They may hesitate as what not to talk before their marriage.


    Here are some tips for them


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    Jayanthy





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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    Hahaha.. Sollunga Sollunga... Ellarkkum Helpful ah irukkum Aunty


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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    First let’s see the tips for women.

    · The first talk between you should initiate from your fiance only. You please do not initiate the talk.

    · In future, he may tease you for initiating the talks. So, before talking anything, you should be very careful, keeping in mind that he would tease you in future, for these talks, even before marriage.

    · Think him as your close friend and begin to talk.

    · Even after starting to talk, please do not be talking continuously, if you are a talkative person.

    · Initially, your talks can only be the answers to his questions.

    · The next talk can be enquiring about his Parents’ and Siblings’ details , like where do they work, what his siblings are doing , like these.

    · Then ask about his likes and dislikes in various categories like, food, colors, movies, books and other things. Share yours too.

    · Talk about your studies and enquire about his also.

    · Enquire about his friends, just their names and whereabouts, if he himself is telling them.

    · Enquire about his nature of work and the timings.

    · Try to respect his parents through your talks.

    · Also try to respect his feelings.

    Continues......

    Jayanthy





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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    · If he is willing to talk about your future plans, you can go ahead. But let him initiate it. Be clear, that these are only the plans and may change in due course.

    · In that case, you can talk about , when to have your children, whether you are going to plan for certain years or going to have them immediately after marriage.

    · Whether he and his parents have no objection with your job. Or, if you are moving to his place which may be in other state or country, whether he is willing for you to work.

    · If he is telling to quit the job after your delivery, you can tell him that you both can decide about it later when the necessity comes.

    · Whether to own a new house (even if he already owns) as a joint property of you both. Can about the future savings.

    · If you need to help your parents or siblings monetarily, it is always safe , to talk it very well before marriage. Tell him, till how long would you help them and you can also take his assurance that his words should last for ever even if the family burden increases after having children. But be sure, that half of Indian men may not accept this later.

    · If you are having any severe ailments, you can inform him now itself. Later , he should not complain about it, for not telling this earlier. You can also assure him that your ailment is not going to affect your married life, if you have checked the same with your doctor. He would then be relieved.

    · You can enquire him about the likes and dislikes of the dresses worn by you and also the same by his mother, so that you can avoid those , in future, atleast in front of your MIL.

    · If you feel embarrassed or do not like him to talk about sexual matters, you can politely tell him to avoid such talks till marriage. Assure him, that you would enjoy those talks after your marriage.

    · In such case,you can tell him that you both would feel the freshness about the sex talks and activities, if it is after your marriage and till then, you both can wait with the excitement and eagerness about it.


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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    Don’ts

    · Don’t be reluctant to talk with him. Once he starts to talk, talk with him freely but don’t be talkative. He would be irritated by your nonstop talking.

    · Do not talk ill or tease about his parents, siblings or any of his relatives and especially about his friends. This will create a bad opinion .

    · Never tease about his complexion or any other lack of qualification, in any aspect.

    · Before he is initiating to talk about the money matters like his and your salary, spending on various things etc., you don’t even show interest to talk about those things. If he is not willing to talk about these before marriage, just tell him, that both of you would adjust with each other regarding the money matters, in future. But , it is very important to talk about the monetary help to your parents, if you have the plan.

    · Don’t allow any physical intimacy before marriage. These may also be recorded and may land you in trouble later, if the marriage fails. Also be careful with your talks as these could also be recorded.

    · Never try to dominate him, since no men will like this.

    · Never boast about yourself. You can share about your talents (if any) just casually.

    · Don’t always talk about you and your family members and avoid boasting about them also.

    · Do not talk about your previous affairs, if any. And do not ask him also, about his. Leave the past and live the present.

    · Avoid loose talks.

    · Do not take hasty decisions if he is busy with his works. Have patience and think wisely.


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    Jayanthy





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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    Some tips for men


    · You should be the first person to initiate the talk.

    · Follow a regular time, either to talk in phone, or if you are meeting in person.

    · Make her comfortable to talk with you, little by little, as she might hesitate to talk intimately with a stranger.

    · Tell her that she can feel you as her close and best friend with whom she can talk intimately.

    · If you are not able to talk to or meet her for few days, don’t forget to inform her previously, to avoid her disappointment

    · Talk about her likes and dislikes in various aspects.

    · Enquire about her birthday.

    · Please try to remember these throughout your life. Most men lack in this which frustrates their wives.

    · Talk about her parents and siblings like their whereabouts and details. Show much interest in remembering these details.

    · Talk about her studies, office, her friends and even about her childhood activities.

    · You can tell gently, about your likings towards the way of her dressing and caution her not to wear any specific dress (might be little revealing)only in front of your parents. At the same time, you can tell her that she could wear them only when you both are alone.

    Continues.....

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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    · Convey her, about your severe ailments if any, which will not affect your married life.

    · If you want to plan your future, ask her whether she would not mind to talk about those.

    · After seeking permission, you both can plan everything about your future.

    · Discussion about the belief in God, religious beliefs, following vegetarianism or nonvegetarianism is a must before marriage. You both can adjust with each other in future, if you both are aware of these.

    · Tell her if you are a teetotaler or tell her frankly, if you have any habit of smoking or drinking, so that she will not be shocked later and feel deceived.

    · Maintain a physical distance from her, if you meet her in person.

    · Maintain decency in your talks.

    · If she is not objecting, you can just hold her hands and this should be the maximum intimacy between you both. Be careful with these as the technology development is tremendous.

    · Try to respect her parents and try to respect her feelings.

    · Only after seeking her permission, you can open the talks about delicate matters.


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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    Don’ts


    · Don’t forget to talk with her very often, inspite of your heavy work schedule.

    · Never tease about her complexion or any other lack of qualification, in any aspect.

    · Never have the sexual talks before marriage. She may feel embarrassed even to tell that she doesn’t like it.

    · Totally avoid physical intimacy.

    · It will decrease the excitement and eagerness which would last after your marriage.

    · Never tease or talk ill about her parents, siblings, friends or relatives.

    · Never tease about their status in society.

    · Never boast about yourself. You can share about your talents (if any) just casually.

    · Avoid talking much about your parents especially your mother as this may create a jealous mind in her and she would try to plan the way of domination thoughts of hers over your mother.

    · Avoid loose talks.

    · Do not talk about your previous affairs, if any. And do not ask her also, about hers. Leave the past and live the present.

    · Do not try to over dominate her. Only a mild domination and a mild possessiveness will always be liked by women.


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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    By following these tips, you are sure to have a healthy relationship and understanding even before marriage, which will surely help in your future married life.

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    Jayanthy





  10. #10
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    Re: Tips to Talk with your FIANCE after Engagement

    Superb suggestion Jayanthy, very useful.

    jv_66 likes this.

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