Mom's the word
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19th Jun 2012, 11:24 PM #1
Mom's the word
Mom's the word
Are you often blindsided by your children who come up with the oddest questions? Or are they slowly driving you round the bend? Do you suffer from a perpetual foot in mouth disease when it comes to your partner? Or are down in the dumps? We give you 10 ways to solve all these problems.
TEN QUESTIONS CHILDREN ASK
1. Why? As in why do I have to wake up so early. Why do I have to go to school. Why do I have to take a bath. Why do I have to complete my homework. You get the picture, hmmm?
2. Why can't I? As in why can't I have a mobile like my friend. Why can't I watch an adult movie. Why can't I sleep over at my friend's place. Why can't I bunk art class? Why? Why? Why?
3. Why should I? Pick up my toys. Clean my room. Put my T-shirts away. Close the cap on the toothpaste.
4. Can't you give me two minutes more? This is when they are sleeping and have a 7.45 am class to go to. Needless to say the two minutes are never just 120 seconds. It's children standard time.
5. Don't you love me? Accompanied by what looks suspiciously like a tear, this question gets asked immediately after a demand is made for the latest PSP game or the super-expensive IPL team jersey.
6. Can't you see I am busy? The response whenever the question of homework comes up. "Being busy" usually involves watching inappropriate shows on television, playing GTA on the PSP or chatting with friends on the phone at a very late hour in the day.
7. How come he gets everything? Usually asked by one brother when the other gets something. It could range from a Ben 10 toy to a gameboy; from the last doughnut to the first kiss of the day. And of course neither remembers the toy you got them just yesterday.
8. No, but why can't you explain it to me? This is usually when something has been denied. Obviously, you can never ever say "because I say so". And obviously your explanation is never satisfactory.
9. Can you help me? This is the only time the question is accompanied by a please. This happens ONLY when a big project is due. Or when your boy needs to make a good impression on someone.
10. Do you have to go? This one is the guilt-tripper. It is usually asked just as you are packing your bags for an important business trip or putting on your lip gloss for the official dinner.
TEN THINGS ABOUT CHILDREN THAT DRIVE YOU MAD
1 The minute you get home, they want your laptop. You think they are happy to see you? Forget it. What they want is not your time but your internet connection to check the latest WWE results.
2. They never have a straight answer for a perfectly civil question. How was your day, beta? It is either met with a grunt, a smirk, or a straight one-word answer. Bad. Not what you want to hear.
3. Books? What are they? They don't believe in reading. Buy the world's best children's book, place them discreetly all over the house. They will reach for the city supplements of the newspapers and the sports pages. No more.
4. When you refuse them something, they will go to a higher power. Depending on the day, it could be their dad, their grandmom, even a visiting uncle. Anyone but you, who gives them permission to do something expressly forbidden by you.
5. They will never watch Discovery Channel causing you to always look upon with envy at those mothers who toss their wonderfully blow-dried hair and wax eloquent on how their children absolutely adore educational TV.
6. They will always say something embarrassing to the person you most want to impress. Such as, he's so old, to your boss. Or he's so fat to your colleague. Or even, "where is aunty," to a recently-divorced friend.
7. They will promise you the earth when they want something badly enough (I will start my holiday homework today or I will study for my Monday test tomorrow) and then conveniently forget the next day.
8. Just when you heave a sigh of relief about no more complaints from the school and tell your husband how things are going so well, they will make sure they a) get into a fight with a classmate, b) do very badly in a test, c) not submit their written work. Enough to wipe that smile off your face.
9. They will never ever come home on time from a neighbourhood friend's place. "I will go for an hour, maximum," becomes "I was gone only for four hours, mom."
10. When they grow up, they forget all the troubles they've caused you, all the sleepless nights you've had and all the anxieties that made your blood pressure shoot through the roof. Just be grateful that they don't forget you.
TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER TELL YOUR LOVER
1 I love babies. An absolute no-no, especially at the end of Date No. 2. He will be out of the door so fast; you'll end up paying the bill.
2. Can I come hang with your boy buddies? Girl, heard of something called space? Or even man date?
3. Are we done yet? This one is the cold shower comment that will douse any little chemistry you have with your partner.
4. Wow, that T-shirt looks tight. Have you put on some kgs? Right, we know putting on the flab is easy, but please, there is no need to rub it in.
5. I need to leave now. We have already spent so much time together. Like, please now, I am boring?
6. Are you always this touchyfeely? Um, affection. Ever heard of that word?
7. Can I move in? What are you trying to do? Trying out for a role in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?
8. I think we are moving too fast. Maybe you are. But there are nicer ways of saying it. And now, not picking up calls from your significant other is not one of them. How about, let's take this nice and slow, instead? Doesn't that sound better?
9. Hey she looks like my ex. Like do I really want to know that? Ever heard of too much information?
10. What's that thing you are wearing? Let me spell it out for you. C-L-O-T-H-E-S.
TEN THINGS TO LIFT YOUR SPIRITS
There are always those days when things just seem a little too difficult, a little too tough and a little too complicated. All the retail therapy in the world doesn't seem to help and you are searching for something that will make you feel a little lighter. Here's what Actor, writer and director of Hindi and Marathi films and theatre Makrand Deshpande does to feel good.
1. Reading: Any kind of book. One of my favourites is Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha, stories of mythology and plays in Sanskrit. I just finished reading Dharamvir Bharti's Kanupriya. Books excite me, especially those that have a different angle to their story line.
2. Watching a woman: Self-explanatory
3. Singing my favourite song: I love singing the national anthem.
4. Flying: Whenever I fly, I wonder who has invented such a spectacular thing. It's a lift-off.
5. Writing: Anything I write. It's a reflection of your own self. When I write, I go into the subject, know about it more and it empties my system, allowing me to introspect.
6. Watching a beautiful film: I just saw Turtles Can Fly. It's a perfect example of how a docudrama can be told by adding a little fantasy. The master stroke is the way the children have been portrayed.
7. Flying kites: Yes, I am a kite flyer, especially the ones that have lanterns. My record is 21 lamps that I flew after Lagaan qualified.
8. Buying gifts: I love buying gifts for people. Recently, I asked a boy I know what he liked to play and he said video games. I took him to a store, bought him a whole cricket kit and told him to also play real games. He then told me he loved cricket.
9. Meeting different people and figuring out where they can be the best.
10. Going to the dargah: I love the Sufi spirituality. Its soul-searing.
19th Jun 2012, 11:28 PM #2Newbie
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
Re: Mom's the word
enjoyed lot with all the ten's of your postings