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Shape Children's Behavior


Discussions on "Shape Children's Behavior" in "Preschooler" forum.


  1. #11
    divyakannan is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: Shape Children's Behavior

    8. WITHDRAWING PRIVILEGES


    Withdrawing privileges is one of the few behavior shapers you never run out of. Kids will always want something from you. For this correction technique to have a good chance of preventing recurrence of a misbehavior, the child must naturally connect the privilege withdrawal with the behavior: "If you ride your tricycle into the street, you lose the use of your tricycle for the rest of the day."
    Your child dawdles and misses the morning carpool, so he walks to school. This correction technique is commonly used in adult law enforcement: You get caught driving drunk and you lose your license. But this doesn't cure your drinking problem. So you see, withdrawing privileges has its limits as a discipline technique. What does withholding television have to do with being home in time for supper, a child may wonder.


    Losing privileges can work if it's part of a pre-agreed behavior management strategy decided on during a family meeting. Parents state the behaviors they expect from their children and announce that part of the fun of being a parent is granting privileges to the children so they can have some fun too. But if the children don't hold up their end of the bargain, the parents can not grant those privileges. So, being home in time for supper gets you the privilege of a half-hour of TV rather than the TV time being an inalienable right of every citizen of the household. As children get older they need to learn a valuable lesson for life: With increasing privileges come increasing responsibilities.




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  2. #12
    divyakannan is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: Shape Children's Behavior

    9. NO NATTERING


    "You're picking your nose again." "Watch where you're going." "Late again!" "Can't you do anything right?" Persistent negative comments like these, called nattering, nip away at a child's self-worth. Studies show that nattering does not improve behavior; it actually worsens it. Nattering is especially defeating in children with a poor self-image. Nattering and repeating commands make children nervous. Some children exhibit more than their fair share of negative behavior, but constantly reminding them produces more negative behavior. It is better to purposely pick out some redeeming qualities and concentrate on the positives ("I like the way you stepped aside for your sister"). You will see the negatives melt away.
    Continuing to talk, or repeating advice that you've previously given, tells the child that you don't trust her to carry out a simple request, such as "Put a load of laundry in, please." If you add a string of qualifiers, you're teaching her you don't trust her to do it right (your way). If you can't stop "advising," start writing notes.


    Last edited by divyakannan; 30th Aug 2012 at 05:24 PM.
    nlakshmi likes this.

  3. #13
    divyakannan is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: Shape Children's Behavior

    10. HOLDING A FAMILY MEETING


    Family meetings are good times to set house rules. You are relaxed and the children are more receptive. Spur-of-the-moment rules ("You're grounded!") made when you are angry are likely to be unfair and unfollowed. Getting together to sort out discipline problems is a valuable way for parents and children to express their concerns. Discipline problems that involve one child should be handled privately, but there are times when all the children get a bit lax in the self-control department and the whole family needs a reminder. Suppose your house is continually a mess. Call a family meeting and invite suggestions from the children on how to keep the house tidy. Use a chalkboard to make it more businesslike. Write down the problem and propose solutions. Put together a "kids want/parents want" list in order to set goals. To avoid chore wars, we assign each child a room to tidy. Then we know who is responsible and who to compliment. Formulate house rules for happier living. Arriving at a general consensus is better than voting, which has winners and losers. Try a suggestion box and have the children write their suggestions on little cards. You'll learn a lot about your living habits that way. I got a suggestion from my teenage daughter: "Daddy, please ask me to help instead of giving orders." You can use family councils to help a child solve a problem. Develop a share-and-care atmosphere. Make the meeting fun. Besides your living room, try other meeting places, such as a family picnic at the park. Meetings shape family behavior and are a forum in which to foster family communication.

    Thanks to www. askdrsears.com


    Last edited by jv_66; 17th Oct 2013 at 02:07 PM. Reason: External link removed

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