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ignoring relatives


Discussions on "ignoring relatives" in "Siblings and Other Relations" forum.


  1. #1
    jalashan is offline Newbie
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    ignoring relatives

    Hi
    My husband supported his all family members. he took care of his mother
    she lived with us and died peace fully. also he took care of his sister's daughter for 12 years and did all the expense for her wedding (a grant wedding) and helped his nieces to study now they are all in good possision
    But for his niece wedding they didn't inform till the engagement they just ignored him. Not only them even his brothers he spent million for them but all their needs they just ignore him and me I don't know why .

    But I am so much worried because I just want to be happy with every one but they don't talk to me . When they see me in wedding or in a public places. I am kind of broken hearted after hepling everyone and seeing them ingnoring me . Making me very sad all day and night . please give a advice

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  2. #2
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Re: ignoring relatives

    Hi @jalashan

    Feel very sad to hear the attitude of your husband's relatives.

    How do they react like this?

    If they still need or if they may need in future, the help from your husband, their reaction may not help them, isn't it!

    I think they may not need further help from your husband.

    Ok....coming to your problem now, even I have seen many people like them who take all kind of help from few person/persons and later, they don't even smile at them. They do not inform any of the family functions or give any importance.

    I have a doubt about this.

    Whether you or your husband have the habit of telling about the help done by your husband to any of them or all of them who have got the help from your him?

    If any of you had been telling them about these helps, then it is for sure, that they will not at all like this attitude and will start avoiding you both.

    You might have mentioned them about this , without your knowledge.

    Because, they cannot avoid you by not even informing the engagement of his niece.

    If this is not the case, then it is their attitude not to give respect to the helping hand.

    You can do one thing.

    You can enquire any one of them about their attitude, like not even smiling in public places or functions.

    With the information collected, you could have a clear picture of any mistake done by you or your husband.

    Then having talks with all of them, you and your husband can retrieve the cordial relationship with them.

    If the above doesn't work,

    you just have to make up your mind for their ignoring attitude and just move away. You also may not talk much to them and loose your self respect. Behave in the same way as they do.


    Think of the condition of the Teacher, who brings up all the students in his life. He may or may not get the respect in the future by those students. They will not care for him, but he never complains for this nor does he expect anything from them.

    You can think like this.

    Moreover, if you happen to donate some money or anything else to any needy person, you will never expect them to thank you in the future. if they happen to thank you in the future, you will feel happy, but at the same time, even if they don't turn out to you, you will just forget them and move on in your life.

    So, you can think like these circumstances and make up your mind.

    For sure, you both will have a very good satisfaction, that you have helped lots of persons when they needed your help and this help will surely save your future life and your children's life forever. So, please be satisfied with this.

    Hereafter, if you do not wish to help those relatives, you may not, but at the same time, you may help to those who are in needy and who are not very well known to you. Thus you will not have any dissatisfaction.

    Jayanthy





  3. #3
    jalashan is offline Newbie
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    Re: ignoring relatives

    Quote Originally Posted by jv_66 View Post
    Hi @jalashan

    Feel very sad to hear the attitude of your husband's relatives.

    How do they react like this?

    If they still need or if they may need in future, the help from your husband, their reaction may not help them, isn't it!

    I think they may not need further help from your husband.

    Ok....coming to your problem now, even I have seen many people like them who take all kind of help from few person/persons and later, they don't even smile at them. They do not inform any of the family functions or give any importance.

    I have a doubt about this.

    Whether you or your husband have the habit of telling about the help done by your husband to any of them or all of them who have got the help from your him?

    If any of you had been telling them about these helps, then it is for sure, that they will not at all like this attitude and will start avoiding you both.

    You might have mentioned them about this , without your knowledge.

    Because, they cannot avoid you by not even informing the engagement of his niece.

    If this is not the case, then it is their attitude not to give respect to the helping hand.

    You can do one thing.

    You can enquire any one of them about their attitude, like not even smiling in public places or functions.

    With the information collected, you could have a clear picture of any mistake done by you or your husband.

    Then having talks with all of them, you and your husband can retrieve the cordial relationship with them.

    If the above doesn't work,

    you just have to make up your mind for their ignoring attitude and just move away. You also may not talk much to them and loose your self respect. Behave in the same way as they do.


    Think of the condition of the Teacher, who brings up all the students in his life. He may or may not get the respect in the future by those students. They will not care for him, but he never complains for this nor does he expect anything from them.

    You can think like this.

    Moreover, if you happen to donate some money or anything else to any needy person, you will never expect them to thank you in the future. if they happen to thank you in the future, you will feel happy, but at the same time, even if they don't turn out to you, you will just forget them and move on in your life.

    So, you can think like these circumstances and make up your mind.

    For sure, you both will have a very good satisfaction, that you have helped lots of persons when they needed your help and this help will surely save your future life and your children's life forever. So, please be satisfied with this.

    Hereafter, if you do not wish to help those relatives, you may not, but at the same time, you may help to those who are in needy and who are not very well known to you. Thus you will not have any dissatisfaction.
    hi jayanty,

    Thanks for your kind advices. I can't find any mistakes in us. Because their act is like this because of small incidents like this , eg:- telling them to give the menu for their daughters wedding party, what ever they wish and we will pay for that , but they all wanted every single thing done buy others .

    They just don't take any risk for that if we order the menu they simply
    look at mistakes we had made. Can't they do a simple thing like ordering a menu for their daughter.

    All of them are like that . My husband helps them a lot but in some time if he have any money problem he refuse to help them . Then they begin to scold him and talk behind him.

    I don't need my husband to beg infront of them because we have done nothing wrong .

    well I hope you can understand me.

    thanks jalashan

    Last edited by jalashan; 27th Jun 2015 at 11:08 AM.
    jv_66 likes this.

  4. #4
    jv_66's Avatar
    jv_66 is offline Super Moderator Silver Ruler's of Penmai
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    Jayanthy
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    Re: ignoring relatives

    Quote Originally Posted by jalashan View Post
    hi jayanty,

    Thanks for your kind advices. I can't find any mistakes in us. Because their act is like this because of small incidents like this , eg:- telling them to give the menu for their daughters wedding party, what ever they wish and we will pay for that , but they all wanted every single thing done buy others .

    They just don't take any risk for that if we order the menu they simply
    look at mistakes we had made. Can't they do a simple thing like ordering a menu for their daughter.

    All of them are like that . My husband helps them a lot but in some time if he have any money problem he refuse to help them . Then they begin to scold him and talk behind him.

    I don't need my husband to beg infront of them because we have done nothing wrong .

    well I hope you can understand me.

    thanks jalashan
    Yes @jalashan

    I can very well understand you.

    This is the maturity of those people.

    Just ignore those activities.

    My husband helps them a lot but in some time if he have any money problem he refuse to help them . Then they begin to scold him and talk behind him.
    Yes....this is the main reason for their activities.

    Whenever your husband is helping them continuously (he would have made this as a regular habit to help them/everybody) and suddenly when he refuses to help due to financial constraints, people will surely react like this only.

    They will easily forget the previous timely help done to them.

    And another important thing is people will try to get all kind of help from the below category persons also , but will never give any kind of importance to them in any functions or in any public places.

    Please bear in mind that I am not mentioning you but saying this generally.

    Couples without any children, Widow, Widower....are these persons who do not get importance in this society.

    Now , as you said, if those relatives are so lazy to do those simple works but are ready to find mistakes in your husband's help, hereafter your husband need not help them. Just keep a distance from those people. Only this could help you both to be calm.



    Jayanthy





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