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Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

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  1. #1
    Penmai's Avatar
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    Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    Here is a new contest to feed your minds and win exciting prizes. Write up on the title “Role of mother in child's life”.

    A child needs an Eternal love from her parents and in particular with mother. Mother plays a vital role in the early life of a child which makes him a perfect man to the entire society and to the world. There is no substitute to a mother for her baby.

    Parenting a child is really very much enjoyable, thrilling and crucial period in every mother’s life. But present world makes this hard to parenting a child due to their busiest time schedule. Nannies and relatives are quite helpful but they simply cannot substitute a mother’s compassion for the baby.

    Although fathers too have a vital role to play, the truth is that it is the mother who happens to be the affectionate and caring figure in the life of the child. Since it is the mother who brings the child to this world after nine months in her womb.

    When a child attains the school-going age, teachers plays a major responsibility in the life of a child. Sadly, numerous moms feel that their responsibility is not as vital as during the birth and the early age. But, it is not the case. The older the child becomes, it is very much important for the mother to make and guide her in right path. Since, a mother is fully aware of the abilities and failings in her child she can appropriately guide her child to select the profession that is best for him or her.

    Share what you need to do as a mother to ensure a happy life for your child. Share here how to maintain a good relationship with your child and how to bring his or her life well?

    1. How to bring up a child to be a good citizen to the society?
    2. How to encourage your child in their way?
    3. Whether we need to be strict or lenient in parenting?
    4. Mom’s role in shaping children’s character?
    5. How a mom can seed a good thoughts and habits in children’s heart?
    6. How to mold up their career life?
    7. How to find the peculiar interest of the children other than studies and how motivate them to perform well in that line?

    Share your thoughts and values here and win exciting prizes. Prizes will be for the 1st and 2nd person and Penmai's Judging panel will be there to select the winners.

    Let other new mom’s learn from your thoughts and Let we create a better world.

    • Minimum 10 points on the whole and it will be best if you share atleast 3 points for the important 7 questions we had asked.
    • Don't copy paste from website, write up thoughts on your own.
    • Contest winner will be announced in the start of the next month.
    • You can post your entry either in Tamil or English
    • Last Date - 31st of this month (July)

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    Last edited by Parasakthi; 9th Jul 2012 at 11:10 AM.
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    Penmai eMagazine July 2016

  2. #2
    suganthiramesh's Avatar
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    ques 3.
    first i wish to answer the third question
    ....i had never been a very strict mother in bringing up my child....i prefer to be more friendly and sometimes i forget my age and give him a company imagining myself as seven years old....this makes him to share whatever he wants to say without any fear about the parents and he feels very happy about the friendship i offer him.....even i compul my husband to be more friendly to him.....i always see that there is always a good communal relationship between all three of us.

    ques 2.
    when the child grows up, the mother definitely knows his skills and abilities as we are in constant observation....
    instead of forcing to do what we like, it is better to motivate them in the way what they like....my son likes drawing imaginary pictures and coloring them with vibrant colors... i never stopped him from doing that.... i provided him all the types of coloring materials available in the market and he keeps on improving his imagination and skill by drawing rockets, cellphones and whatever pictures that attract him....after completing when he shows me the picture i never fail to appreciate him and i keep saying that he has some magical powers...that is a boosting and motivating statement for him...

    i guess the same answer can be provided for question 7.

    ques 4:
    now coming to the matter of how to
    build your child's character the parents should set as good examples.... children simply follow their parents through out their life.... so let parents follow some principles like

    not to pick up quarrells in front of the child

    not to expose any bad habits like smoking etc. in front of the child

    not lying to each other....

    not teasing each others family members and relatives

    not throwing things out of anger

    not spending too lavishly

    not talking ill about the schools and studies

    are some of things not to do...

    knowing and showing the value of money and doing their duties correctly will bring up the child automatically in a very good way...

    regarding the career i have not yet seeded any particular thing on his mind... i just keep on talking about prominent and successful people whenever i get a chance and he listens to that.... i keep talking about my BIL who is a doctor and some of my relatives who are in good posts at present... let him decide what to become and this can be expected only in his teen age....now it is too early....

    Last edited by suganthiramesh; 7th Jul 2012 at 05:51 PM.

  3. #3
    yams's Avatar
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    ஒரு தாயை விட சிறந்த உறவு உலகத்தில் வேறில்லை..அவளே தன்னை வதைத்து கொண்டு ஒரு புது உயிருக்கு ஜனனம் அளிப்பவள்..

    அன்னையரை பற்றிய இந்த போட்டியில் ஒரு அன்னையாக நான் இப்போது இல்லாத போதும் நான் வருங்காலத்தில் எப்படி இருப்பேன் என்பதை பகிரவே விரும்புகிறேன்.

    சேய் நலமே தாய் நலம்!
    அத்தாயாய் இருப்பவள் பிள்ளைக்கு உயிரை மட்டும் அளிக்காமல் நற்பண்புகளோடு அவனை இவ்வுலகத்தில் சிறந்த குடி மகனாகவும் மாற்ற வேண்டுமென்றால் அது அவளது வளர்பினாலேயே முடியும்.

    அந்த வளர்ப்பு எப்படி அமைய வேண்டும்?
    முதல் கேள்வி: ஒரு மகனை சிறந்த குடிமகனாய் வளர செய்ய ஒரு தாய் என்ன செய்ய வேண்டும்.?

    அவனிடம் சிறு வயதில் இருந்தே இரண்டு விஷயங்களை ஊட்டி வளர்க்க வேண்டும்.
    அவை ஒழுக்கம் மற்றும் நேர்மை.
    ஒழுக்கத்தை கடைபிடிப்பவன் என்றும் மற்றவரால் தவறாக பேச படமாட்டான்.
    எந்த ஒரு சூழ்நிலையிலும் நேர்மையை கடைபிடிக்க அவனுக்கு பழக்கம் செய்தால் நாளை தவறான பாதையில் மறந்தும் கூட நடக்க மாட்டான்.இவை இரண்டும் பெற்ற குடி மகன் கண்டிப்பாய் ஒரு சிறந்த குடிமகனாய் தான் அமைவான்.

    இரண்டாம் கேள்வி: ஒரு மகனை அவனது வழியில் ஊக்குவிப்பது எப்படி?

    சிறு வயதில் இருந்தே ஒரு மகனோடு இருக்கும் தாய்க்கு அவனுக்கு எந்த விஷயத்தில் ஈடு பாடு அதிகம் என்று அறிவது கடினமான விஷயம் இல்லை. அவனுக்கு விருப்பம் உள்ள துறை அது படிப்பு சம்மந்த பட்டதாய் இருந்தாலும் சரி இல்லை விளையாட்டு,கைத்தொழில் என்று எதுவாக இருந்தபோதினும் அதில் அவர்களுக்கு கிடைக்கபோகும் வருவாயை கணக்கில் கொள்ளாமல் அவனுக்கு பிடித்தது இது தான் என்பதை உளமார ஏற்று அதில் முடிந்த வரை அவனுக்கு பக்கபலமாய் இருந்து அவனுக்கு தேவையான உதவிகளை செய்தாலே போதும்...மகன் தானாய் அந்த துறையில் மேதாவியாகி விடுவான்.

    மூன்றாம் கேள்வி:பிள்ளைகளிடம் கண்டிப்பாய் நடக்கவேண்டுமா? இல்லை தோழமையாய் நடக்கவேண்டுமா?

    பிள்ளைகளிடம் தோழமையாய் நடக்க வேண்டிய விஷயங்களில் தோழயமையாய்.. இயல்பாய் இருந்து கண்டிப்பு தேவை படும் போது அதையும் அவர்களிடம் காட்டவேண்டும். தாய் இந்த விஷயம் செய்தால் கண்டிப்பாள் என்ற பயம் இல்லாத குழந்தை வழி தவறி நடப்பதில் எந்த விந்தையும் இல்லை..அதே நேரம் தாயிடம் பயந்து தன் நியாயமான ஆசைகளை சொல்லாமல் குழந்தை அஞ்சி நடுங்காத வண்ணம் நடந்தாலே அவள் சிறந்த தாய் தான்.

    நான்காம் கேள்வி:குழந்தையின் குணத்தை வடிவமைப்பதில் ஒரு தாயின் பங்கு..?

    குழந்தைகள் நம் முன் நிற்கும் கண்ணாடியை போல.. நாம் செய்வதை தான் திருப்பி செய்வார்கள்..குணநலன்களை பொறுத்த வரையிலும் அப்படியே தான். ஒரு பெற்றோர் குழந்தையின் முன் தகாத வார்த்தைகளை உபயோகித்தாலோ சண்டயிட்டலோ நாளை அந்த பிள்ளையும் வளர்ந்த பின் அதையே தான் செய்வான். அப்படி இல்லாமல் அவன் வளரும் போதே தாய் அவனிடம் நற்பன்புகளோடு நடந்தால் அவனும் நாளை அத்தாயின் பிரதி பின்பமாய் தான் நடப்பான். தன் துணைக்கும் சரி உடன் இருப்பபர்களுக்கும் சரி மரியாதையை வாரி வழங்குவான்.

    ஐந்தாம் கேள்வி:ஒரு பிள்ளையிடத்தில் எப்படி சிறந்த நற்பண்புகளை புகுத்துவது?

    சில வித பழக்க வழக்கங்களை சிறு வயதில் இருந்தே அவனை செய்ய சொல்வதன் மூலம் அது காலத்திற்கும் அவனிடம் ஊன்றி இருக்கும்படி ஒரு தாயால் செய்ய முடியும்! ஐந்தில் வளையாதது ஐம்பதில் வளையாது என்று ஒரு பழ மொழி உண்டு அதற்கேற்ப ஐந்திலேயே அதனை வளைக்க ஒரு நல்ல தாய் பாடு பட வேண்டும். அவனது வேலைகளை அவனே செய்யும் படி செய்தல், பிறரை எதிர்பார்க்காமல் இருக்க செய்வது இதெல்லாம் நாளை அவனை மற்றவரை சார்ந்து இருக்காமல் தன் காலிலேயே நின்று சமுதாயத்தில் தலை நிமிர்ந்து நடக்க உதவும்.
    இது ஆண் மகனுக்கு மட்டுமன்றி பெண் பிள்ளைகளுக்கும் சாரும். அவளது பழக்க வழக்கங்களே ஒரு தாயின் சிறந்த வளர்ப்பை புகுந்த வீட்டில் நிலைநிறுத்த உதவும்.

    ஆறாம் கேள்வி: குழந்தைகளின் எதிர்கால லட்சியத்தை அடைவதில் ஒரு தாயின் பங்கு..?

    எந்த பிள்ளைக்கும் ஒரு லட்சியம் இருக்கும் அது..தான் மருத்துவன் ஆக வேண்டும் வக்கீல் ஆக வேண்டும் என்று இது போல பற்பல...அதனை சரியாய் ஒரு தாய் ஊகித்து அதற்கு தேவையான வழிமுறைகளை அவனிற்கு சிறந்து முறையில் வடிவமைத்து கொடுத்து அதற்காக அவன் செய்ய வேண்டிய விடாமுயற்சியினை அவனிற்கு புரிய வைத்து..அது மட்டும் அன்றி அவன் சோர்ந்து போகும் சமயங்களில் அவனை ஊக்குவிக்கும் மருந்தாய் மாற வேண்டும் ஒரு சிறந்த தாயானவள்.

    ஏழாம் கேள்வி:படிப்பில் மட்டுமன்றி பிறவற்றில் பிள்ளைக்கு இருக்கும் ஆர்வத்தை ஒரு தாய் எவ்வாறு அறிந்து அவனை ஊக்குவிக்க வேண்டும்..?

    இதற்கு முன் சொன்ன கேள்வியில் சொன்ன அதே வழி முறைகளை தான் படிப்பில் மட்டும் அல்லாது பிற துறையில் பிள்ளைகளுக்கு ஆர்வம் இருந்த போதிலும் அதனை அறிந்து கொண்டு ஒரு தாய் செவ்வனே செய்ய வேண்டும்.
    இப்போது பல பெற்றோர் பிள்ளைகளின் கனவுகளை அதில் வருவாய் வராமல் போகுமே என்று தடை விதிகின்றனர்..அது போல் செய்யாமல் அவனுக்கு எதில் ஆர்வமோ அதில் அவனை அதிகபடியாக ஊக்குவித்தலே சிறந்தது..

    இது போல் சிறப்பாய் ஒரு தாய் தன் சேயை பேணி அதன் வாழ்வில் பக்க துணையாய் ஒரு நல்ல ஊன்று கோலாய் இருந்து வளர்க்க அந்த பிள்ளையும் இந்நாட்டின் சிறந்த குடிமகனாய் உள்ளத்தால்,சிறந்த பழக்க வழக்கத்தால், அழிவற்ற அறிவால், நற்பண்புகளால் உயர்ந்து அத்தாய்க்கும் சேர்ந்து பெருமை சேர்ப்பான் என்பதில் எந்த விந்தையும் இல்லை.
    எனவே தாய் மார்களே!
    வளர்ப்போம் அவனை சிறந்த முறையில்
    வாழ்விப்போம் நம் செல்வத்தின் வாழ்வுதனை!

    With Regards

    Expectation is the only devil which smiles at you when you feed it daily!


  4. #4
    vaishnav's Avatar
    vaishnav is offline Commander's of Penmai
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    Jan 2012

    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    இந்த கேள்விகளுக்கெல்லாம் பதில் சொல்லி இருக்கவங்களுக்கெல்லாம் நிச்சயம் குழந்தை வளர்ப்பில் நிறைய அனுபவம் இருக்கலாம்.ஆனால் எனக்கு அப்படி எதுவும் இல்லை.இருந்தாலும் என்னுடைய கருத்துக்கள் சிலவற்றை இங்கே பகிர்ந்துள்ளேன்.ஏதேனும் தவறுகள் இருந்தால் மன்னித்துக்கொள்ளவும்.....
    வாய்ப்புக்கு நன்றி .

    1.சின்ன வயசுலேயே ஊட்டி ஊட்டி வழகறது னு சொல்வாங்கல்ல ....அந்த மாதிரி சின்ன குழைந்தைலேந்தே நாம நல்லத மட்டும் சொல்லி சொல்லி வளக்கணும்..எல்லாரும் "தெய்வதிருமகள்" படம் பாத்துருப்பிங்க..அதுல வர "கிருஷ்ணா" அவ்ளோ tension னான seconds லையும் signal போட்டோனதான் road cross பண்ணுவார் அதேபோல யாருமே கண்டுக்காம போகும்போது இவரு போய் tap water நிறுத்திட்டு போவார்....அந்த மாதிரி இப்டி இருக்கும் அப்போ இப்டி இருக்கனும் இப்டி பண்ணனும் னு சொல்லி வளர்க்கணும்...அதுக்காக ரொம்ப பெரிய அளவுக்கெல்லாம் போகணும் னு அவசியமில்ல ..நம்ம அளவுக்கு "human values , moral values" சொல்லி குடுத்து வளத்தா நிச்சயமா அவங்க good human & good citizen தான்....

    2. குழந்தைங்கள encourageபண்றதுக்கான first step அவங்களுக்காக டைம் ஒதுக்கரதுதான்.அதாவது முதல்ல அவங்கள கவனிக்கணும்.Suppose உங்க குழந்தை shy type a இருந்தா அவங்கள dance,drama னு சேத்துவிடலாம்.எப்டி பெரியவங்களுக்கு அவங்கள அவங்களா வே காட்டிக்க விருப்பம் இருக்குமோ அது போல தான் குழந்தங்களுக்கும் இருக்கும்.So அவங்க sense of dressing,எதாச்சும் கத்துக்கணும் ங்கற ஆசை இதெல்லாம் நாம மறுக்கவே கூடாது.Maximum எல்லாரும் ஒன்னா சாப்புடற பழக்கத்த வச்சிக்கணும் .அந்த நேரத்துல காலைல படிச்சா நியூஸ் பத்தியோ,அவங்கள பத்தியோ இல்ல general laவேற எதாச்சும் பத்தியோ பேசலாம்.

    3. குழந்தைங்க சின்னதா இருக்கும்போதே நாம தோழமை காட்டிட்டா பின்னாடி கண்டிப்பு காட்ட வேண்டிய அவசியமே இல்ல னு தான் நினைக்கிறேன்.சின்ன வயசுலேயே கண்டிப்பு காட்டி வளர்க்கப்பட்ட குழந்தைங்க சின்ன freedom கெடைச்சாலும் அத நிச்சயமா தப்பா தான் use பண்ணுவாங்க.அதுக்கு பதிலா நாமே இது நல்லது , இது கேட்டது அப்டி னு moral values,behavior எல்லாம் friendly a சொல்லி குடுத்து வளர்தோம்னா நிச்சயமா ஒரு நல்ல மனிதனா உருவாகுவாங்க.because ஐந்தில் வளையாதது ஐம்பதில் வளையாது தானே

    ஒரு குழந்தைய shape பண்றதுக்கு முன்னாடி நாமே நல்ல example ஆ இருக்கனும்.because குழந்தைக்கு தெரியற முதல் நம்பகமான ஆள் அம்மா தான்.நம்ம பாத்து தான் குழந்தை எதையும் செய்ய ஆரமிக்கும்.அம்மா அப்பா வோட அன்பையும் பாசத்தயும் பாத்துதான் அதுவும் அன்போட பாசத்தோட வளரும்.முன்னமே சொன்ன மாதிரி குழந்தை நல்ல விஷயங்கள் செய்யும்போது அத encourage பண்றது முதல்ல அம்மா வா தான் இருக்கனும்.குழந்தை எந்த நல்ல விஷயம் செஞ்சாலும் நம்ம அம்மா இருக்காங்க நமக்கு அப்டிங்கற நம்பிக்கைய ஏற்படுத்த தவறக்கூடாது .அப்புறம் குழந்தை தான் செஞ்சதெல்லாம் சொல்லும் போது காது குடுத்து கேக்கவும் தவறக்கூடாது.ரொம்ப முக்கியமானது குடும்பத்துல குழந்தைக்கும் சில பொறுப்பு குடுக்கணும்.ex,தம்பி தன்கைய சில நேரம் பாத்துக்கறது,அம்மாக்கு ஹெல்ப் பண்ண சொல்றது.வயசான தாத்தா பாட்டிய வாக்கிங் கூட்டிட்டு போக சொல்றதுன்னு .....
    இதெல்லாம் பண்ணா குழந்தைய கண்டிப்பா நல்லா shapeபண்ணலாம்

    நல்ல எண்ணங்கள விதைகிறதுக்கான முதல் படி குழந்தைங்க மனசில போசிடிவே positive thoughtsஅ ஏற்படுதரதுதான்.அதன் தொடர்ச்சியா குழந்தைகளுக்கு மன்னிக்க கத்துக்குடுக்கணும்.சின்ன வயசுலேந்தே குழந்தைங்களுக்கு self confident,responsibility இதெல்லாம் கொஞ்ச கொஞ்சமா சொல்லி குடுக்க ஆரமிசிடனும்.குழந்தைங்க எப்போலாம் வந்து உங்க மடில விழுதோ அப்போலாம் அத அரவணைக்க மறக்கவே கூடாது.குழந்தைங்களுக்கு உண்மைய பேச சொல்லித்தரனும்.எதையும் மத்தவங்க நிலைலேந்து யோசிக்கவும்,மத்தவங்களுக்கு மரியாதை தரவும் கண்டிப்பா கத்து தரனும்.

    6. சின்ன வயசுலேயே குழந்தைங்களோட interest என்னனு தெரிஞ்சிகிட்டு அத encourage பண்ணனும்.அத நல்லவழியில மேலும் கத்துக்க உதவி பண்ணனும்.அம்மாவோட நடவடிக்கைகள் அத தூண்டும் படி அமைஞ்சா மேலும் சிறப்பு.எந்த ஒரு சூழ்நிலையிலும் நம்மளோட விருப்பத்தையோ,ஆசையையோ குழந்தைங்க மேல திணிக்கவே கூடாது.அவங்க சம்மந்தப்பட்ட விஷயங்களல்ல நல்லது கெட்டத மட்டும் எடுத்து கூறி அவங்களையே முடிவு எடுக்க விடனும்."என் வாழ்க்கையில் என்ன நடந்தாலும் நானே பொறுப்பு" அப்டிங்கற எண்ணம் அவங்க மனசில வரணும் அப்போதான் அவங்களுக்கு ஒரு பொறுப்புணர்வு வந்து நல்ல முடிவு எடுத்து அத செயல் படுத்துவாங்க.குழந்தைங்க அது சம்மந்தமா எதாச்சும் உதவிகள் கேட்டா,அத அது கேக்கறதுக்கு முன்னாடி நாம குடுக்கணும்.

    7. இதுக்கு முன்னாடி கேள்வில சொன்ன மாதிரி குழந்தையோட interest என்னனு தெரிஞ்சிகிட்டு அத encourage பண்ணும். ஒரு சிறந்த,எந்நேரமும் குழந்தையோட செயல்களை கவனிக்கிற அம்மாக்கு தெரியாதா குழந்தை எதை விரும்புது னு.அவங்களுக்கு எதுல இன்றேஸ்ட் டோ அத உங்களுக்கு பிடிச்சது மாதிரி குழந்தைகளுக்கு காட்டிக்கனும்.இப்போ உங்க குழந்தைக்கு ஓவியம் வரையறதில ஆர்வம் னா அத உங்களுக்கு ஓவியம் வரைய ரொம்ப பிடிக்கும் அப்டிங்கற மாதிரியும்,அதுக்காக நீங்க நிறைய கத்துக்கற மாதிரியும் காட்டிக்கனும்.நிறைய புத்தகங்கள்ல இருக்குற படத்தெல்லாம் காட்டி இது நல்லருகில்ல இப்டி வரஞ்சிருக்கலாம் ல,நா வேற மாதிரி வரைஞ்சி பாக்கறேன் அப்டிலாம் சொன்ன,குழந்தைகிட்ட கண்டிப்பா ஒரு முன்னேற்றம் இருக்கும்.

    Last edited by vaishnav; 16th Jul 2012 at 05:51 AM.

  5. #5
    Guruji's Avatar
    Guruji is offline Registered User
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    பிள்ளைகளுக்குத் தன்னம்பிக்கையை ஊட்டி வளர்ப்பது எப்படி...?

    தன்னம்பிக்கை என்பது மனித வாழ்க்கைக்கு ஒரு நெம்புகோல் போன்றது. அது இல்லையேல் வாழ்க்கை இல்லை. இதனைப் பெற்றோர் தம் குழந்தைகளிடம் வளர்க்க வேண்டும்.
    At the first and foremost, Parents should make it a routine practise to sit with their childrens and find time to discuss things at large. This will make them understand what is wat and bring them closer to parents.

    1.சுயமாக சிந்திக்க, சுயமாக செயல்பட குழந்தைகளுக்குக் கற்றுக் கொடுக்க வேண்டும்.
    Yes, its the responsibility of the parent to make their children to decide on their own in certain areas of life. Not at the childhood, but at the stage, where parents find that their child is so matured enough to decide on their own, in their capacity. This may be sometimes mismatched in terms of the physical or Mental attitude, but its the duty of the parents to decide on their well being, so that the pros and cons of their doings will be analysed of their own.

    2.படிப்பில், அதோடு கூட வீட்டு வேலைகளில் குழந்தைகளுக்கு பெற்றோர் போதிய பயிற்சி அளிக்க வேண்டும்.
    Its one of the prime importance of the parents, to take them to the level of education, where they can understand the subjects with ease. The importance of education system existed, prevailing and would prevail should be made understand by them, so that, it will be easy for them to score good marks. Also they should be taught of home needs, the need of the hour, and how to indulge in house hold activities. They should be taught on materialistic world with self help techniques to handle the situation at home for their own needs.

    3.குழந்தைகளை அச்சுறுத்தி அடித்துக் கண்டிக்கக் கூடாது. ஆனாலும் அதன் போக்கில் எதேச்சையாக விட்டு விடவும் கூடாது.
    Never practice hard handling on kids. The more you force, the more will be the repulsion. (keep in mind always of the Newton's 3rd law of motion). The way in which you learn the subject for them, the more the ease for them. Its the first and foremost importance of the parents to understand their capability of learning and go according to their mentality. Don't ever try to force your knowledge in them. Rather, its may be gentle to understand their creativity in mind, and act accordingly so that, they sure will have a close relationship with you for ever. And if you find wrong in their attitude, it should not be let it go on their own.. Its our duty to make them understand of the attitude, and realize their fault and to divert their mind in other subjects so that they are free from those negative approaches.

    4.குழந்தைகளுக்கு அன்புப்பால் ஊட்டி, அரவணைத்துப் பெருமைப்படுத்தவேண்டும்.
    Love and care is most important in growing a child. Parental love is most essential in this present materialistic world, where many parents lack due to some reason or other in bringing up their child. While parents should have immense knowledge of growing their child, they should realize that only pure love and affection can make them grow in perfect way. Its the duty of the parents to share their mind at all times with the child and encourage in their toddlers, either in school, or in any other specific activities of their life. It will be a boost for them, and will really enhance their self confidence level, which will pave a great way for their future.

    5.’நீ ராசா அல்லவா..? ராசாத்தி அல்லவா..?’ என்கிற வாசகங்கள் பெற்றோர் வாயிலிருந்து வர வேண்டும்.
    As focussed earlier, only love and affection can change a child's attitude, its also the duty of the parents to avoid the usage of negative approach with their kids. If you give a good way of approach, kids mind will focus on your approach. That is the reality of mind, which attracts towards the soft corner. As such your soft approach to the child will attract towards you, and in turn will more positive power in their mind.

    6.“மக்கு,மண்டு,மண்டூகம்” போன்ற வாசகங்கள் மலையேற வேண்டும்.
    Never compare your kids with other kids. This is the first and ever mistakes done by parents. You child may have some talent and other child may have some other talent. Its not worth to compare their attitude, talent etc., with our child. So please avoid such comparison. The way in which you make them grow, will sure be attracted by them and as such, comparison and with negative approach should always be avoided in any phase of life.

    7.பயம், கூச்சமின்றி, உறுதியான நெஞ்சம், உண்மையான பேச்சு, உயர்வான பண்பு இவை குழந்தைகளுக்கு அமைய முயற்சிகள் மேற்கொள்ள வேண்டும்
    Always practice them with positive approaches in life. The real sense of gratitude, high affection towards others, good possessiveness, the real way of living the life with full happiness, the principles of high thoughts and good speech, the livings of our saints and good leaders of our past and their sayings, shall be inherited in their mind, so that they always have a self confidence of living without fear and shyness.

    If all these are practised, no doubt our child will have a GOOD LIFE FOR EVER.

    With love and affection to all parents of PENMAI...

    (Father of two daughters)

    ​aham brahmAsmi

  6. #6
    rameshshan's Avatar
    rameshshan is offline Commander's of Penmai
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    6. How to mold up their career life?

    Parents may have some unfinished or unsuccessful goal or aim in life. Kindly do not enforce that to be completed by ur child. Though they are kids, they have dreams. As discussed in the 2 nd question, the parent’s responsibility is to highlight the merits and demerits of the likings of the children. It doesn’t mean that leave all in their hands. But to ensure that the kids are lead in the right direction.

    It is impossible for a child to take into consideration of all the factors involved in adulthood and it shall not be exactly obvious too. As parents are equipped with life’s experience, their guidance enables them to take right decisions and to travel in the right path. For that the parents should be aware of what does a right path meant to them!

    7. How to find the peculiar interest of the children other than studies and how motivate them to perform well in that line?

    Interesting question! One to be asked!
    Study is important….if I want to say it rightly…Education. “I was born intelligent; but education ruined me”, read somewhere.

    What we normally do is to load the kids with tons of luggage in the name of books, tuition classes, and the schools dump them with homework….! Some schools will say that they allot P.E.T classes for the children’s extra curricular activities.

    Playing 45 mins in ground for a day, that too once a week only or may be twice can just able to drain the pressure they had in that particular day, who knows he/she might be thinking of the next period’s assignment. Ensure that they understood the concepts of the subject they are involved in. There may be a greatest researcher underlying within the kid.

    Music, dance and sports all of various patterns are those the kids will find them attracted to and we normally led them to enjoy them upto their 8th or 9th std, that’s it…10th and 12th those yrs they should forget the so called entertainment.

    When they expose to variety of activities…there follows their lead in assessing what excites them or interests them. Always keep a balance, don’t stress them with only a single activity. Try to communicate with the teachers, watch live classes, interaction with their friends, interaction with other parents shall make ur job much easier.

    The biggest responsibility relies here on the Mother than the father, as the child has the natural bonding with her and they listens to a mother whom they always share their thoughts.

    “6 years: Mom knows everything!
    8 years: Mom knows a lot!
    12 years: Mom really doesn’t know everything!
    14 years: Mom knows nothing!
    16 years: Mom, what mom!
    18 years: Mom is outdated!
    25 years: Maybe Mom knows!
    35 years: Before deciding, let's ask Mom!
    45 years: I wonder what Mom thinks!
    75 years: I wish. Mom was here to ask he...r!”

    That’s how a Mother is important in crafting a child’s life.

    Last edited by rameshshan; 18th Jul 2012 at 05:11 PM.
    "Don't be Serious, be Sincere."!!


  7. #7
    rameshshan's Avatar
    rameshshan is offline Commander's of Penmai
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    Ramesh shanmugam
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    3. Whether we need to be strict or lenient in parenting?

    We are not running a military house. Ours is a Home with life. That’s why I prefer the word HOME than HOUSE.

    A child who is mischief, naughty n playful shall be considered as a child. The fact is understood well, that one cannot be lenient and at the same time should not be strict. The truth is when we are in a tension mood or in a depressed condition or work pressure, all our response for the kid’s activity or their questions will be in a very strict way..some time even we beat them.

    Same when we are in a happy n joyful mood we answer their queries n respond them pleasingly. Yes! The child will behave the same always. Their actions are decided by our deeds. Make them understand the difference between a mistake and a sin. Teach them the courage to admit their mistakes.

    The child should love u, not to have fear on u. When u r strict, they will start hiding their messages for u…! That includes ‘Love u dad! Love u Mom!’

    4. Mom’s role in shaping children’s character?

    Tom is a 3 yr young kid. Very mischief, very carefree, still his parents are not so wealthy and shed moderate amount of money to get toys but ensuring his happiness always. Tom likes to keep money but keep on breaking the toys always whenever given by mom or others. His mother started bothering about his attitude and she wants to teach him or impart him the meaning of responsibility.

    She gave him 2 Rs/- daily in hand saying that it’s his money and to keep it carefully. He followed her words and put the money in his pouch. This practice continued for a month and now tom has 60 Rs/- . One day she took him to a toy store. The shop keeper invited them and showed a seat asking her to be seated. She didn’t sit, instead asked tom to be seated and told the shopkeeper that, “This gentle man here owned some money and he is here to purchase a toy”. Tom felt as if he is an important person by the way he is being treated. He received a toy from the shopkeeper and his mother asked to give the money from tom’s hand itself, and he done the same.

    When they came out of the shop, Tom said to his mother,
    “Mom! It’s my toy!”

    Make them understand that he/she is one of the important member of the family and are responsible.
    (Answers to the previous questions do shall be shared here to show how to shape a child’s character)

    5. How a mom can seed good thoughts and habits in children’s heart?

    For a kid Good thoughts and habits comes from the parents only. Moral science is the subject I would recommend for any parents to teach their kids. Maximum try not to use negative language or style or attitude in front of the children. Instead live yourself as parents with loads of energy and positive attitude. E.g: Never tell them that God will punish u if made a mistake, instead tell them that God will love u when u r right.

    Stop watching serials when kids are around. Tell them the importance of cleanliness, respect to elders, waking early, what is a healthy food, how to behave with strangers, what to do under emergency. Same time pls don’t forget that they are just kids and don’t impart too many things or dump everything in a single shot into their brain.

    Say them in such a way that they show some glimpse of interest in it. Make them understand the importance of the words like, “sorry”, “thanks”, etc. Teach them to be honest.

    Last edited by rameshshan; 18th Jul 2012 at 05:01 PM.
    "Don't be Serious, be Sincere."!!


  8. #8
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    rameshshan is offline Commander's of Penmai
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    Ramesh shanmugam
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    1. How to bring up a child to be a good citizen to the society?

    A good citizen in my definition is a good human with full of values, principles, and ethics, the helping attitude and active participation in our community. Father and Mother are the heroes for any child and they inspire them in all ways. When a parent acquires these parameters then their deeds attributes for the kid to grow as a good citizen.

    Children must be taught with giving due respect towards people who live around us. Teach them that we have rights, they have them too. After all, a group neighbours contributes the society.

    Apart from teaching them about movies and other things of peripheral importance, try to inform them and teach them about our country. We do teach them; about the number of states, languages, important leaders…but they are not enough. Teach them about the voting system and importance of it, why there is a lok sabha and Rajya sabha, who r there n what r their responsibilities, tell them why we call India as a developing nation for decades and its economic status, national policies for poor and needy etc…in short civics..is all they need.

    2. How to encourage your child in their way?

    The interesting phase of a human is this…The childhood, coz they learn quick, grasp more and ask more questions. Being annoyed at times parents ignore to answer their kid’s queries pointing that they are silly and childish. When all his/her questions are answered the child can analyze self and will start picking up or move towards or work towards their areas of interest.

    As they receive answers from u always, definitely they do ask about their interested fields or show signs of that. Give them both the negatives and positives of that and let them make their choice.

    Despite their actions, try not to blame them or compare them with others. Appreciate for even the smallest good thing they do.

    "Don't be Serious, be Sincere."!!


  9. #9
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    I would like to share my views too.

    1. Children mimic parents' activities/characters. Hence a parent should be a good role model to their children / good citizen to the society.
    I mean parents should (can)
    a. following the traffic rules
    b. without polluting the enviornment (by not using plastic carrybags, by using the food wastes as a manure to the plants,by properly disposing the wastes at the right place, by not spitting wherever we like, by not peeing at the roadside)
    c.voting without fail
    d.by helping the needy
    e. by planting the trees/plants
    f. by not harming others (humans / animals/plants)
    For example: My kid (1 yr old) saw me watering the plants with a water bottle for many days. Last week She took a empty and closed water bottle and she watered the plants one by one slowly. We (as a parent) felt that everything starts from us and we said we should follow this.
    2. As a mother of a year old kid, i already started encouraging her activities by clapping the hands and by saying "wow,u did a good job". Now she seeks my appreciation when i am busy with some household activity. And i give her without fail.
    3. It is not a hard and fast rule that we should be strict with children all the time. We need to adopt both ways wherever it is required so that they understand the limits. For example: We can't be lenient while the child plays with sharp objects/putting something in the mouth at a very early age. I do not mean that we have to raise(beat) our hand or yelling at the little one, Instead we can explain the situation in a more understandable manner.
    4. Even though parents behave well themselves, children may acquire bad character from the so called 'society' too.In that case mom can explain the positivity and the negativity of a particular character and behave in such a manner that the child will not repeat the same in the future.
    5. Start reading the good (moral) stories to the child from the age of less than a year. This helps in cultivating good thoughts. Keep on discuss/talk with the child about the good things surround us. Good habit begins from the people at the home. For example: a. My kid (1 yr old) saw me watering the plants with a water bottle for many days. Last week She took a empty and closed water bottle and she watered the plants one by one slowly. b. Pray to god before every meal, before bed time makes the child to develop a good habit too. C. My kid disposes the waste at the right place (dustbin) after watching us doing so.
    6. Myself and my husband already discussed not to push or brainwash the child to do a particular course without the child's willingness/interest. We have to allow the child to choose their own career. The point is whatever the career is,the child has to do it with full dedication and honest. Even the child can pick any one of the interested hobbies as a career (eg: photography/any sport activity, etc.,) so that they can work with full heart / interest. Of course, as a parent we can guide them to choose their career.
    7. Parent can help the child to improve their creativity so that they will be in many activities other than studies. Then it will be easy for the parent to find the peculiar interest.Here I would like to take example from Germans as i live here. Kindergarten has been first started in Germany to develop the creativity of a child. They allow the child to play with the age appropriate toys to improve their creative thinking,motor skills and logical thinking. Once we find a peculiar interest of a child, we should not force them to shine well in that field (by enrolling a particular course immediately), instead talk about the persons who had achieved their goal by taking few important steps in their life. Moreover, Give lot of appreciation from young age helps in many ways in the future of a child.

    Note: Please forgive me if i'm wrong with my opinion.

    Thank you for the opportunity to share our views.


  10. #10
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    umaravi2011 is offline Minister's of Penmai
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    Re: Special Contest - Role of mother in child's life

    Friends one of the most important and a magnanimous role played by most individuals in our life is parenting and there are no second thoughts about it.

    When we are children we experience the role which is being performed by our parents and we enjoy the same till we get the role for ourselves.

    While experiencing the same some of us make a note of what we had missed from our parents in our mind and try to add them while scripting ours. Some of us try to replicate the experience and run them down.

    Sometimes we forget that the changes the world has gone through and try to impose our exposure into our loved ones. Let us look at a simple example my mom used to force me to drink castor oil (velakenai or amanakku ennai) once in three months saying that the effect ( we stay most of the way close to the toilets) will enable total purification of our stomach and rejuvenates our digestive system.

    So dear friends let me try to find answers for the questions raised:

    How to encourage your child in their way?

    First of all we need to practice and demonstrate the art of being a good citizen. Start the exercise by helping the needy in front of them and make them be a part of the action. Celebrating small functions like birthdays and anniversaries among the needy will certainly set the young minds thinking. With media becoming so influential and the advent of Internet it is always a challenge for each and every parent to fulfill the above. Ensuring that the young ones use technology in the right perspective and making them aware about the dos and don’ts will work wonders.

    How to bring up a child to be a good citizen to the society?

    Making them live their life with its nuances is the key. Think about our child hood and let us encourage them to practice what we enjoyed and more importantly what we missed. Try to think that we are also young when we spend quality time with the children, let us not try to out smart them (some times we do). Celebrate every small achievement they had in their life and take it forward.

    Whether we need to be strict or lenient in parenting?

    Let us not be strict or lenient towards them. Let us be firm on points which will condition them so that they understand.

    There is a lot of difference between strict and firm.

    How a mom can seed a good thoughts and habits in children’s heart?

    As the Mom spends maximum time with the children at home (most likely) they are the key for a successful life. Her role is not only providing food when they are hungry but also to provide practical wisdom. For example she can talk to her girl child who is in her early teen about good touch and bad touch and the transformation from a child to girl and thereafter.

    Whenever she notices any peculiar change in case of girl or boy child discussing the same internally with the father and setting it right immediately is an important activity which most of us miss out.

    Mom’s role in shaping children’s character?

    The active role of a mother in shaping up the child’s thoughts starts from the day she finds herself carrying the kid in her. This has been proved scientifically and has been put into practice ages together, but most of us crib that in the current fast life we seldom have time and energy left to work on this aspect. But friends this is the most important activity which will bring meaning to your life.
    Starting from the early days of pregnancy the mom should keep her mind as cool as ever and have only the right thoughts in her mind. Here the role of the father and other members of the family are equally important. It will be better to get them involved in a detailed counseling do that they are clear in their roles.
    a. Having good thoughts
    b. Reading good books – occasional spirituality will certainly help.
    c. Not getting into prolonged arguments and fights at home.
    d. Listening to good music ( can spend good amount of time)
    e. Watching entertaining movies you like – less of TVs serials.
    f. Talking to your child inside you about your thoughts about her and the exciting world which is waiting for him/her and ensure that you talk to the kid inside you in complete sentences and let them make full sense. Most of us would have heard about the story of “ Abimanyu” Arjunan’s son in Mahabaratham. Arjunan used to talk to his wife about various war forms and formats. He used to talk about how to break into the ‘ “ Chakra vuga” one of the most critical formation an enemy can form to stop you. Unfortunately he misses to discuss about how to come out of the charavuga. The kid inside Arjun’s wife’s hears all this and becomes one of the most finest warriors. But during Kuruchethra Abhimanu breaks the chacravuga formed by the kaurava’s and get inside but he gets stuck inside and gets himself killed.
    Friends – do talk to your kid inside you about good things.

    While the kid grows they will have the above registered thoughts in them and the role of the parent becomes easier to shape up.

    How to mold up their career life?

    Here again the preparation for a notable career starts from the early days of pregnancy and goes forward ( How the mother of Kamal hasan used to listen to good music and witness plays and dance shows during her pregnancy which she could not for the elder off springs).

    When the child starts growing we need to observe their interests early and enable them to channelize the same in the best possible manner.

    Never try to impose our opinion onto them (which most of us do ) the same can become counter productive.

    How to find the peculiar interest of the children other than studies and how motivate them to perform well in that line?

    The best option is to study how they spend their spare time. Even if they are watching TV alone, check what interests them and take it forwards.

    Interest in sports and Art forms can easily be spotted by observing the above.

    Once spotted instead of directly jumping onto professional training you can make them practice on their own and see the progress, we can discuss their interests with their School Teacher and ensure that they are chosen to perform in school functions.

    Then helping them to find suitable time for their interest comes the second most important step. Off course followed by professional training reading about successful people in the field etc., will certainly motivate them.

    The best motivator will be to help them set a goal and break them into smaller milestones and be with them when they cross each one…capture all the moments and create a folder so that all their feats are documented with suitable rewards and recognition.

    Hope the above points will set our mind thinking.

    Thank you for the opportunity.

    Happy parenting.....

    Last edited by umaravi2011; 24th Jul 2012 at 08:14 PM.


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