Discussions on "Baby envy" in "Trying to Conceive" forum.
3rd Mar 2012, 02:27 AM #1
hi my friends, this article is purely based on good will and support . hope and pray for the concern womens with baby envy.
Baby envy is a growing worry for women in their 30s.
Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock, said Iago in Shakespeare's Othello.
While Iago spoke about lovers in conflict, a new envy has crept in lately and this doesn't have to do with man and woman. Baby envy is the latest social divide to take over the minds of women in their 30s. Also known as profound infertility envy, this is when a woman is envious about the fact that every woman around her is getting pregnant and she isn't. Interesting much? Then read on.
Ashmita Reddy took her time to get married. After she met her husband at 25, she took another five years to get married. Soon, she realised that may not have been a good idea as she went through problems to conceive. "I had this mix of emotions inside me. I hated going on because somehow or the other, I'd see a pregnant woman. My insides would shrivel up and I'd come home feeling angry and sick!" says Ashmita.
Prarthna Bajaj, a new mum recalls how she met someone like Ashmita during her baby's delivery. "The lady felt very out of place there. She asked me a lot of weird questions about my baby but I guess those were genuine questions of concern," says Prarthna. She also recalls how a friend underwent the same kind of pressure and got over it. "She focused on her career and spent more time with her sister's kids. Later she adopted a kid and I think that made her happier than ever," smiles Prarthna.
Sangeetha Makesh, women and children behavioural expert, says that there is a biological explanation for almost everything that the human psyche undergoes. "Oxytocin, a naturally occurring hormone, is present in a woman's body when she is expecting. It induces labour, helps in lactation and provides that mother-baby bond. We call it maternal instinct but that is actually the work of the oxytocin," says Sangeetha.
Citing the example of a friend who channelised her energy towards her career, Sangeetha explains, "This channelising is called sublimation and that's how she got over baby envy. We feel jealous when we are deprived of someone else's love. The same way, women in their 30s feel deprived when they don't have an avenue to channel all their instincts. It is this deprivation that is manifested as jealousy." With solutions like sublimation and adoption, you are sure to have no baby blues!