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Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....


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  1. #81
    Lakschellam is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Hi Sisters,
    This is our Marriage rituals.
    Chettinadu Marriage.


    Nagarathars belong to one of the 9 temples (briefed in the Nagara kovil section). People within the same temple are considered as siblings. Apparently the bride and groom should belong to different temples if they are to be married. However there are some exceptions to Mathur temple where there are subdivisions within this temple. So marriage among brides and grooms of certain subdivisions are permitted. Every Nagarathar marriage has to be approved and registered in the respective groom’s temple. Once approved,a garland would be delivered on the behalf of the temple authorities on the wedding day and only from there on the marriage would be conducted. This can be assumed synonym to an approval certificate.

    The minimum period of the celebration is three days, which consists of various traditional rituals. The Chettinad people gift a large number of items to the bride from diamonds to broomstick in multiples of seven. Though almost all the nagarathar stay away from their nagara village/ home town, they prefer to have their son/daughter’s marriage in their native. The marriage in Chettinad in good old days, was more elaborate and complex. The marriage ceremony was long drawn procedure punctuated with various rituals, customs including gift giving for the wellbeing of the newly married and thus marriage was six days affair.

    ‘Nadu Veettu Kolam’ is drawn by ‘aachis’ using wet rice flour. Procession of bridegroom (‘mappillai’) accompanied by musicians together with another contingent of relatives of the bride especially the ladies with their colorful costumes

    Before Marriage
    There are few formalities before marriage in the nagarathar community.
    Pen paarthal:
    Usually the prospective mother-in-Law, father-in-law and few other close relatives go to a common place, to see the bride to be. For recent, the “would be” groom joins his parents though this is not very common. The groom’s family is offered a silver bucket with banana and coconut along with beetle leaves and beetle nuts. If the groom and his family like the bride they can take the silver bucket as a token that they like the bride. This is called “Vaali vaanguthal”.
    Pesi mudithu kolludhal:
    once the bride is approved by all, they would exchange betel leaves and nuts (vethalai pakku matri kolluthal). This is a confirmation gesture that the bride and the groom are finalized. The bride’s parents and grooms parent (now called sambanthi) decide upon a common day discussing with the astrologers for the marriage.
    Muhurtha kaal unrudhal:
    Once the marriage date is finalized relatives arrive 4–5 days before marriage. This is the very first formality related to marriage. A bamboo cane is fitted with mango leaves on the top. Puja is done by iyer(prohith/ pandith) and close relatives of the bride and the groom keep manjal and kungumam at 5 places in the cane. This is called “Muhurtha kaal” and it is tied up straight. This serves as a notification to others in the surrounding that a marriage is going to be conducted at this house.
    Veetu padaippu/podhu padaippu:
    Every family pray to their ancestors in their ancesstral house, which is known as veetu padaippu and all the “pangalis” together perform “podhu padaippu” (joint prayer). In podhu padaippu which is usually conducted at the common house called padaippu veedu, paniayaram (made of rice flour and karuppatti – jaggery) is done by all achi’s and each family gets one after the padaippu. The day before marriage pangali’s and thaya pillaigal (this is how close relatives are called), would come to both brides and grooms place to make the nadu veetu kolam and manai kolam
    Marriage Day
    Mappillai azhaipu:

    On the day of marriage in the morning before muhurtham, the groom’s family arrive at the bride’s village but do not enter the bride’s home. The mappillai veetar ( groom’s side) arrive and wait at some Pillayar(Ganesh) temple or community centres where the pen veetar (bride’s side) headed by bride’s father go to welcome them with band. This is called mappillai azhaippu.
    Pen edukki kattuthal
    When the groom reaches bride’s house she is brought to the door and shown to him. In the olden days this was the first official meeting (rather seeing) of bride and groom. For “pen Parkuthal” only the near relatives of the groom see the bride.
    Thirupootuthal:
    The brides maternal uncle and grooms maternal uncle (Mamakarargal) wear mamakara pattu ( a fluorescent pink silk towel) wrapped around. The groom sits in the manai. The brides maternal uncle brings her in the manai.


    The groom ties kaluthiru – the sacred thread or gold chain or Chettiyar thaali was worn during the day of marriage and a substitute gold thaali was given for regular use. The is a double piece gold chains generally contains a set of total 34 items of hand crafted gold ornaments including two pendants considered to be the most sacred. The pendants carrying the image of goddess ‘Lakshmi’ at the front side and the icons of ‘Meenakshi Sundareswarar’, ‘Rishaba’ bull in the second row. What is very important to note is that these two motifs viz. Lakshmi and Shiva – Parvathi are often repeated theme in Chettinad, which are highly revered by the Nattukottai Nagarathar as the former symbolizing protection and prosperity while Shiva Parvathi pair on bull, represents happy family life. The Kaluthiru in Tamil language has two different meanings – ‘Kalutheru’ means the chain on neck while ‘Kaluth – Thiru’, denotes the Lakshmi as Thiru in Tamil indicates Mahalakshmi. Vaevu irakkuthal:
    This is a custom which is followed to indicate that wealth in the form of food grains and vegetables are sent from the bride’s home by her maternal uncle and their family helped by the groom’s maternal uncle (items are carried on the head in baskets). Then it is received at the groom’s home. The basket usually contains brinjal and rice
    Mamiyar sadangu:
    This is a ritual where in the mother in law, in a silver plate with small bowls (kinnam) will have Vethalai (betel leaf), Cotton, vibhuthi, manjal. Each time she would take a bit and apply it to herself and then to her daughter in law. This is repeated for all the items.
    Poo manam choridhal:
    The elders of both the sides, dip their hands in the bowl with flower petals and take out a few petals and keep them at the seated couple’s folded legs, then on shoulders and throw the petals behind the couple. This is done only by male (mostly married) relatives and not by the woman folk and this symbolizes of blessing the couples
    Manjal neeru aduthal:
    Couple’s feet is washed by cousins with manjal neer (turmuric water) Both the samandhis dip their tip of their attire in a turmeric water. Before they used to take bath but in modern days a formality for the ritual they dip in the turmeric water
    Saman parapudhal:
    The items given as seer (dowry/gift) by the bride’s family is exhibited to all the relatives who attend the marriage. This is considered a scale for the wealth and prosperity of the bride’s family. It contains mappillai saman (for groom), maamiyaar saman (for mother in law) also. The grooms side also add their gifts (silk saree, dresses cosmetics etc.) to the prospective daughter-in-law.





    Kumbuttu kattikolluthal: This is a ritual where in the bride gets the blessings of the elders with a “kulam valum pillai”(krishna idol) in her hand. Each time the elders give it to her they bless her when she falls at her feet. This ritual symbolizes that the following generation to be fertile.
    Mana pen solli kolluthal:
    An emotional moment where the bride bids farewell to her family and near and dear ones. It is quite common to see the bride and her family members in tears. The bride gets the blessings of all the elders of the family where she was born.
    Kattu soaru unnuthal:
    During olden days when the groom and their family take the daughter in law to their home, they had to travel for at least a day. Food is packed for them to be consumed on their way. Usually, the groom and their family eat these packed (kattu) food (soaru – rice) and take rest beside some tank/pond which they find on their way. This tradition is still followed in Nagarathar marriages.
    Pen azhaippu:
    This is the event where the bride is formally welcomed at the grooms home and embrace her as a member of their family. The bride and the groom are usually brought to a temple in their native village before being invited to the grooms residence.
    The couple would be asked to put their hands into three thavalais (ever silver pots) and take out the contents inside. A small game to see who would take over different roles when they run the family.
    Nathanar sadangu:
    Done by the bride’s sister – in – law (s) which is the same as mamiyar sadangu would be done at the time of pen azhaippu…


    Lakschellam


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  2. #82
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Quote Originally Posted by Uma manoj View Post
    thaali katti mudiyum varai kalkandu irukanaum JV...1hr process..karainjuduchuna thirumbavum kodupanga...
    yes sweetana mrg than..innum sweetave irukku

    Oh...apdiya Uma......naana irundha, niraya kalkandu saapiduradhukkagave, every time, adhai kadichu saaptruppen............adhai kadikira jor la kalayaanthai gavanama senjuttu irupeno, illayo, ennavo.therillai....ha....ha....

    Jayanthy





  3. #83
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Quote Originally Posted by Lakschellam View Post
    Hi Sisters,
    This is our Marriage rituals.
    Chettinadu Marriage.


    Nagarathars belong to one of the 9 temples (briefed in the section). People within the same temple are considered as siblings. Apparently the bride and groom should belong to different temples if they are to be married. However there are some exceptions to Mathur temple where there are subdivisions within this temple. So marriage among brides and grooms of certain subdivisions are permitted. Every Nagarathar marriage has to be approved and registered in the respective groom’s temple. Once approved,a garland would be delivered on the behalf of the temple authorities on the wedding day and only from there on the marriage would be conducted. This can be assumed synonym to an approval certificate.


    Lakschellam


    O....ungalodadhu Nagarathar type kalyanama pa......very nice.

    Thanks dear.....

    Happa.....thaali la 32 items irukuma.......romba ganamaana thaali ya irukum poliruke......

    Last edited by jv_66; 18th Nov 2013 at 02:00 PM.
    Jayanthy





  4. #84
    Lakschellam is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Hi Sister,


    What u said is correct.

    It will be nearly above 16 x 8 grams gold. now it's reduced to 13 x 8 grams.


    Antha Thali will be tie only for some important functions. on marriage day, 60th anniversary day, 80th anniversary day, only in son's marriage.

    Then it will be in always in Locker as asset.

    We use to tie 3 chains with thalli on marriage.

    One is kalutheru . what i said above .

    2nd one will be more than 7or 8 x 8 grams for functions.
    3rd one will be in 4 or 5 x 8 grams for regular use.


    warm regards,
    Lakschellam


  5. #85
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Quote Originally Posted by Lakschellam View Post
    Hi Sister,


    What u said is correct.

    It will be nearly above 16 x 8 grams gold. now it's reduced to 13 x 8 grams.


    Antha Thali will be tie only for some important functions. on marriage day, 60th anniversary day, 80th anniversary day, only in son's marriage.

    Then it will be in always in Locker as asset.

    We use to tie 3 chains with thalli on marriage.

    One is kalutheru . what i said above .

    2nd one will be more than 7or 8 x 8 grams for functions.
    3rd one will be in 4 or 5 x 8 grams for regular use.


    warm regards,
    Lakschellam


    ஹப்பாடி .....தாலில இவ்ளோ வகையா ....ஒருத்தருக்கே ......

    ரொம்ப விரிவா இருக்கு இல்ல ......உங்க கல்யாண வகை எல்லாமும் .....amazing

    Jayanthy





  6. #86
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Hi Uma M, Thanks for sharing unga wedding customs ....Different aa irundhadhu ..........

    Lakschellam- Unga post la oru chettiar kalyanam partha effect .......

    Lakschellam, jv_66 and Uma manoj like this.
    Priya


  7. #87
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Hi friends...

    Let me share community marriage custom here.....

    On the day of wedding....bridegroom will be go to mosque or wedding hall by walking.....this we call baith....they sing islamic songs along the way to mosque so we call it baith (baith means singing)

    Ours is always night wedding....then bride will be taken to mosque by (ponnukku mariyathaya paarteengala)

    Then they will ask bride and bridegroom to sign in a register....

    Then bride will be taken to separate room....after that bride will be asked to say wedding vow (I.e inbathillum thunbathilum naanae ivalukku thunai iruppaen) and also bridegroom will anounce his mahar (dowry which bridegroom will give to bride....this is must orelse marriage will be invalid)...

    After that bride will be brought near bridegroom....for this only close relatives will be present....few strands of bride's hair will be made loosen and that will be wound around BG's forefinger....vows and prayers (dua) will be recited....alas now they are both officially husband and wife.....

    Last edited by Kate Hadija; 19th Nov 2013 at 10:31 AM.

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    Kate Hadija's Avatar
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    After that palunsoru (rice mixed with milk and banana) will be bought....BG will feed bride likewise bride will feed BG....then BG will feed members of both family from old to small ofcourse only with spoon.....hand feeding only for bride....

    then they will be taken to bride's house....they will be given milk.... After that poona pogudhunu irakkapathu they will be sent to room (door shut) Next day bride will be bought to BG house for maruveedu (in our customs girls stays in mothers house even after marriage)...there things which BG mother gives to bride will be displayed.....

    Next day pandal....wedding games will be held...pazhlaankuli, vettalai appurathu games like these...and also weight lifting (BG should have to carry bride in both hand in front of others)....for this function only close relatives will be present... Thats it people

    Last edited by Kate Hadija; 19th Nov 2013 at 10:33 AM.

  9. #89
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Hadija View Post
    Hi friends...

    Let me share community marriage custom here.....

    On the day of wedding....bridegroom will be go to mosque or wedding hall by walking.....this we call baith....they sing islamic songs along the way to mosque so we call it baith (baith means singing)

    Ours is always night wedding....then bride will be taken to mosque by (ponnukku mariyathaya paarteengala)

    Then they will ask bride and bridegroom to sign in a register....

    Then bride will be taken to separate room....after that bride will be asked to say wedding vow (I.e inbathillum thunbathilum naanae ivalukku thunai iruppaen) and also bridegroom will anounce his mahar (dowry which bridegroom will give to bride....this is must orelse marriage will be invalid)...

    After that bride will be brought near bridegroom....for this only close relatives will be present....few strands of bride's hair will be made loosen and that will be wound around BG's forefinger....vows and prayers (dua) will be recited....alas now they are both officially husband and wife.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Hadija View Post
    After that palunsoru (rice mixed with milk and banana) will be bought....BG will feed bride likewise bride will feed BG....then BG will feed members of both family from old to small ofcourse only with spoon.....hand feeding only for bride....

    then they will be taken to bride's house....they will be given milk.... After that poona pogudhunu irakkapathu they will be sent to room (door shut) Next day bride will be bought to BG house for maruveedu (in our customs girls stays in mothers house even after marriage)...there things which BG mother gives to bride will be displayed.....

    Next day pandal....wedding games will be held...pazhlaankuli, vettalai appurathu games like these...and also weight lifting (BG should have to carry bride in both hand in front of others)....for this function only close relatives will be present... Thats it people


    WOW.....super Hadija......thanks for sharing your customs.

    Romba nalla iruku pa, unga marriage customs.

    Indha Mahar kudukaradhu kooda, enga custom lerndhu different illaya.....engaluku ellam, girls veetla dhaan kudukanum.....but now a days.....these are avoided in most of the families.

    Just ponnuku enna seiringalo, adhai seinga nu solliduranga.....

    My hubby was very strict, in not receiving this dowry....parents ku order a pottutaru....

    OK......ippo poor boy na avanga mahar thara mudillaina, what will happen?


    few strands of bride's hair will be made loosen and that will be wound around BG's forefinger

    This seems to be quite different.....idhaan saakunu, andha hair ai pidichu izhuthuda maatare BG.....


    O.....ungalukum paalum pazhamum unda......


    (in our customs girls stays in mothers house even after marriage)..

    idhu evlo naalaiku....illai permanent aava?(along with husband)



    (BG should have to carry bride in both hand in front of others).

    WOW.....super....super...... paavam ayya kadhiru....amma kudhiru....apdinu illama irundha thappicharu BG......

    Jayanthy





  10. #90
    Lakschellam is offline Friends's of Penmai
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    Re: Different Customs and Traditions in Weddings....

    Hi PriyagauthamH


    Thank u .

    Lakschellam

    jv_66 and PriyagauthamH like this.

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