10 useful ways to stop self-bullying


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
10 useful ways to stop self-bullying

Sometimes, we unleash the meanster within us on no one but us. Here are 10 smart ways to stop being hard on yourself

There's a stark difference between being disciplined and thoroughly hard on yourself. Unfortunately, many of us don't realise the distinction, and end up being, well, mean to themselves. What we really need is love and extra attention. It's this kind of behaviour which makes you feel lonely and disconnected with your own surroundings. And, if someone is mean to him/herself, chances are that they'll be mean (read: vicious) to those around them.

It's the inner meanie within you who makes you feel pushy, sometimes critical. It is the force that fills your head with negative or obsessive thoughts like overworking, over-thinking, over-giving, comparing, trying to be perfect, and procrastinating.Sounds familiar?
But don't already beat yourself blue over it.

Go apply 10 simple but useful ways to stop the self-bullying.

1. Don't compare, be inspired
What you see in others also exists within you -it's just not fully expressed yet.

When you are driving yourself to the point of exhaustion, comparing yourself to those you think are far ahead in the game, use it as an opportunity to feel inspired. First, find out what it is that you're responding to, and what you want to express.

2. Do only what's needed
When you can't stop yourself from doing more, stop.

Know that quantity never leaves an impression; quality does. Focus on being effective, not always efficient. This is a practice in creating emotional freedom. As you practise, you can enjoy all the extra space you created for yourself.

3. Love yourself more
So you have been told that being critical will motivate you, and urge you to do bet ter? Guess what, that's not true. Compassion is the force that will motivate you.

So the next time you feel inclined to judge yourself, imagine a child learning to do something new. What would you say to them to encourage them? Then tell yourself and repeat those compassionate words. Find the compassion within you and you may find it around you.

4. Learn to say no
Practise saying no. By saying no you are not being rude, but are making it clear that you value yourself and your time. And while you are at it, be patient with yourself. When you feel pressured to say yes, like you should or have to do something, stop and breathe. Inhale, exhale and then respond, saying no. Finally, tell yourself that saying no leaves space for other things to shine.

5. Know how cool you are
Sometimes, you tend to conveniently forget all the amazing things you've done.

It is a trigger to engage in self-criticism. Make a list of five things you've accomplished recently, and five things you love about yourself.Read these over and over again.

6. Find desire under pressure
Usually, when you are pressuring yourself to go further, it's because you desire some thing, so you push to get there. Find the desire and ask, "What is the next step?" Just do that.

7. Know your trigger
Know what prompts the angst within you. Is it your professional life or your personal one? Once you pinpoint this, you'll be more empowered.When you feel afraid or stressed, remember that it's probably your inner meanie attacking you, rather than some set-in-stone truth.

8. It's okay to rant
Stop repressing the self-bullying and say or write out what your inner mean per son is filling your head with, so you can see just how `weird' the thoughts are. Then, next time you have that thought, you'll know you're having a terrible time.

9. Seek inner wisdom
We are all guided by that inner light that knows our highest truth. So, in times of fear or uncertainty, take a deep breath, place your hand on your heart, and ask, what does my inner wisdom know? You'll have your answer staring at you.

10. Phone a friend
When you are in the grip of a sticky situation, caught up with fear, stress and self-criticism, it's hard to shake yourself from that mode -you need to reach out to a support system, so you can free yourself from the force of your inner bully. So call a friend, tell him/her your inner meanie attack is on the loose, rant and vent as freely as you must.

While you can't exactly stop your inner meanie to trigger -especially in times of stress and vulnerability -you can reform it so that it stops sabotaging you, and starts supporting you, instead.
Jan 19, 2015
United States
Nice tips and especially like that says no.....
I also want to adopt this habit but I can't sometimes I really try heard but again I just says no to myself and do that what i really don't want to do.:help:

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