Anxiety depressed!!!! :,(

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#1
its been 2 weeks i never attend any of my classes. back in my country my dad is not feeling well and im having massive problem with my best friends. we are almost the the edge od friendship which is almost gone forever. im so depressed about this. all this already ruined my new year! i seriously dont know how to face them. help me! and im an egoistic person prettily very much! im not proud of it but ashamed of it!
 

jv_66

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#2
Hi Kanmany,

Feel very sad that you are losing your friends, just because of your egoistic nature.......

Once when you have realized your egoistic nature as the shameful one and as you have already felt that you are losing your friends just because of this nature, I am damn sure, that you will try your best to change this unnecessary character.....

Along with this, once when you have decided to ask our opinion about this,
can you please tell us about the actual problem?

This will help us to analyze about the situation and suggest further.....

We should know, about what happened between you friends, and your friend might also be possessive, which would have aggravated the situation..

Whenever you feel bad about this nature, hereafter, please think twice, before talking anything to anybody.....you should think about your words, by fitting in their shoes......
 
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datchu

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#3
I think this is an attitude problem. Over POSSESSIVE/control may be a reason for the problem with your dear friends. Your self had admitted that you are an egoistic person prettily very much! not proud of it but ashamed of it!.

It means that you have already started the self analysis theory. So no problem, just relax/divert your mind with music or spirutual activities. You will become normal at the earliestr. All the best.



 
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#4
Hi Kanmany,

Feel very sad that you are losing your friends, just because of your egoistic nature.......

Once when you have realized your egoistic nature as the shameful one and as you have already felt that you are losing your friends just because of this nature, I am damn sure, that you will try your best to change this unnecessary character.....

Along with this, once when you have decided to ask our opinion about this,
can you please tell us about the actual problem?

This will help us to analyze about the situation and suggest further.....

We should know, about what happened between you friends, and your friend might also be possessive, which would have aggravated the situation..

Whenever you feel bad about this nature, hereafter, please think twice, before talking anything to anybody.....you should think about your words, by fitting in their shoes......
vanakkam jayathy! the actually problem is i have these two besties! i really love this both girls! everything i tell them and i do hid certain things from them! im actually very private person. Used to be very moody and very quiet! i became cheerful when i started to mingle around with my two besties! they like some sort of angels fell from the sky! i took it that way! and this two girls are cousins by blood! we used to small small fights i call them patty patty fights! the usual fights! we were like SISTERS! lets name them 'A' and 'B'. 'B' is very close to me! she used to tell everything to me before she tell her sister! so we were that close! she she coupled up with a guy and she hid it from both of us(me n 'A'). thats when all the problem started. whatever she told me about her bf and i went told everything 'A'.'B' also told about her family issues. but i never utter a word about it to 'A' because it might causes family problems. maybe what i did was wrong but i thought 'A' deserves to know the truth because they are sisters. i was thinking in point of view of a sister. once 'B' got to know that i told 'A' everything so she put a full stop for our friendship! but after three months she started to talk with me again! life was awesome after that! then problems started back and we are drifted apart! its always because of me. and they are tired of giving me chances! finally i spoke to them regarding of the fight! and they said that they will be ok but they told that they cant be like last time! so we never gonna be like last time. so everything gone! i was litttle worried! but after spoke to them and all i feel better slightly. thats the story all about jayanthy!
 
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#5
I think this is an attitude problem. Over POSSESSIVE/control may be a reason for the problem with your dear friends. Your self had admitted that you are an egoistic person prettily very much! not proud of it but ashamed of it!.

It means that you have already started the self analysis theory. So no problem, just relax/divert your mind with music or spirutual activities. You will become normal at the earliestr. All the best.



my friends used to tall me that i have the attitude problem. i should have transformed. but what to do? now it is too late. still hoping for the better day. thank you so much for the piece of advice mythili :)
 

jv_66

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vanakkam jayathy! the actually problem is i have these two besties! i really love this both girls! everything i tell them and i do hid certain things from them! im actually very private person. Used to be very moody and very quiet! i became cheerful when i started to mingle around with my two besties! they like some sort of angels fell from the sky! i took it that way! and this two girls are cousins by blood! we used to small small fights i call them patty patty fights! the usual fights! we were like SISTERS! lets name them 'A' and 'B'. 'B' is very close to me! she used to tell everything to me before she tell her sister! so we were that close! she she coupled up with a guy and she hid it from both of us(me n 'A'). thats when all the problem started. whatever she told me about her bf and i went told everything 'A'.'B' also told about her family issues. but i never utter a word about it to 'A' because it might causes family problems. maybe what i did was wrong but i thought 'A' deserves to know the truth because they are sisters. i was thinking in point of view of a sister. once 'B' got to know that i told 'A' everything so she put a full stop for our friendship! but after three months she started to talk with me again! life was awesome after that! then problems started back and we are drifted apart! its always because of me. and they are tired of giving me chances! finally i spoke to them regarding of the fight! and they said that they will be ok but they told that they cant be like last time! so we never gonna be like last time. so everything gone! i was litttle worried! but after spoke to them and all i feel better slightly. thats the story all about jayanthy!

ஹாய் கண்மணி ,


இது ஒரு பெரிய பிரச்சினையே இல்லை பா .....நீங்க ரொம்பச் சின்னப் பெண் அப்டின்னு நினைக்கிறன் ......உங்கள் early 20's ல இருப்பீங்கனு நினைக்கிறேன் ......அதனாலதான் ,இந்த சின்ன விஷயம் கூட , ரொம்பப் பெரிய விஷயமா தோணுது .....


எல்லா friends சுமே , எல்லாத்தையும் , எல்லார்கிட்டயும் சொல்லணும்னு ஒரு அவசியமும் இல்லைப்பா .....அதனால , அப்படி சொல்லாததால , யாரும் நல்ல friends இல்லைன்னு அர்த்தமும் இல்லை .....


இனிமே ஒண்ணு பண்ணுங்க .....அந்த A and B , ரெண்டு பேர்கிட்டயுமே , அவங்க , இனிமே எந்த ஒரு விஷயம் உங்க கிட்ட சொன்னாலும் , "இதை , நான் மட்டுமே ரகசியமா வச்சுக்கணுமா , இல்லை , மத்தவங்களுக்கு தெரிஞ்சா பரவா இல்லையா " அப்டின்னு கேட்டு , அதுபடியே , கண்டிப்பா follow பண்ணுங்க .....


BF வசுக்கரதெல்லாம் ஷேர் பண்றது , கண்டிப்பா ரொம்ப க்ளோஸ் friends கிட்ட மட்டும்தான் .....அதை , நீங்க A கிட்ட சொல்லி இருக்க வேண்டாம் .....ரொம்பத் தவறான பாதைல போறாங்கனா மட்டும்தான் , குடும்ப உறுப்பினர்களுக்கும் தெரியப் படுத்தணும் ...மத்தப்படி , இந்த மாதிரி விஷயங்களை சொல்ல வேண்டாம் .....


இன்னொண்ணு கூட , இனிமே நீங்க அவங்ககிட்ட சொல்லிடலாம் ....."நாம அனாவசியமா சண்டை போட வேண்டாம் ....நீங்க எப்பவும் , உங்களோட ரொம்ப ரொம்ப பர்சனல் விஷயங்களை வேணா என்கிட்டே சொல்ல வேண்டாம் ....அதனாலதான பிரச்சினை வருது ....எனக்கு உங்க friendship ரொம்ப முக்கியம் .....நான் அதை ரொம்ப விரும்பறேன் ....மதிக்கிறேன் .....ஆக , நாம சாதாரண விஷயங்களை மட்டும் ஷேர் பண்ணிப்போம் " அப்டின்னு சொல்லிடுங்க ......இதனால யாருக்கும் மனசுக் கஷ்டம் இல்லாம இருக்கும் .....


இன்னொண்ணு .....இதுல , உங்களோட ஈகோ பிரச்சினை எங்கேர்ந்து வந்தது ? இந்த விஷயத்துல , உங்க ஈகோ எதுவுமே வெளிப்படலியே .....


தவிர, நீங்க ரொம்ப ஷை டைப் ஆக இருக்கறதனால , இப்படி நினைக்கறீங்க ....வேற ஒண்ணும் இல்ல ......


ஆக , இனிமே அவங்களே , அவங்களோட பர்சனல் விஷயங்களை உங்ககிட்ட சொன்னாலும் , நீங்க , எந்த ஒரு விஷயத்தையும் , யார்கிட்டயுமே சொல்லாம இருந்து , எல்லாரும் நல்ல friends ஆக இருந்து , சந்தோஷமா இருங்க .....
 
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#7
ஹாய் கண்மணி ,


இது ஒரு பெரிய பிரச்சினையே இல்லை பா .....நீங்க ரொம்பச் சின்னப் பெண் அப்டின்னு நினைக்கிறன் ......உங்கள் early 20's ல இருப்பீங்கனு நினைக்கிறேன் ......அதனாலதான் ,இந்த சின்ன விஷயம் கூட , ரொம்பப் பெரிய விஷயமா தோணுது .....


எல்லா friends சுமே , எல்லாத்தையும் , எல்லார்கிட்டயும் சொல்லணும்னு ஒரு அவசியமும் இல்லைப்பா .....அதனால , அப்படி சொல்லாததால , யாரும் நல்ல friends இல்லைன்னு அர்த்தமும் இல்லை .....


இனிமே ஒண்ணு பண்ணுங்க .....அந்த A and B , ரெண்டு பேர்கிட்டயுமே , அவங்க , இனிமே எந்த ஒரு விஷயம் உங்க கிட்ட சொன்னாலும் , "இதை , நான் மட்டுமே ரகசியமா வச்சுக்கணுமா , இல்லை , மத்தவங்களுக்கு தெரிஞ்சா பரவா இல்லையா " அப்டின்னு கேட்டு , அதுபடியே , கண்டிப்பா follow பண்ணுங்க .....


BF வசுக்கரதெல்லாம் ஷேர் பண்றது , கண்டிப்பா ரொம்ப க்ளோஸ் friends கிட்ட மட்டும்தான் .....அதை , நீங்க A கிட்ட சொல்லி இருக்க வேண்டாம் .....ரொம்பத் தவறான பாதைல போறாங்கனா மட்டும்தான் , குடும்ப உறுப்பினர்களுக்கும் தெரியப் படுத்தணும் ...மத்தப்படி , இந்த மாதிரி விஷயங்களை சொல்ல வேண்டாம் .....


இன்னொண்ணு கூட , இனிமே நீங்க அவங்ககிட்ட சொல்லிடலாம் ....."நாம அனாவசியமா சண்டை போட வேண்டாம் ....நீங்க எப்பவும் , உங்களோட ரொம்ப ரொம்ப பர்சனல் விஷயங்களை வேணா என்கிட்டே சொல்ல வேண்டாம் ....அதனாலதான பிரச்சினை வருது ....எனக்கு உங்க friendship ரொம்ப முக்கியம் .....நான் அதை ரொம்ப விரும்பறேன் ....மதிக்கிறேன் .....ஆக , நாம சாதாரண விஷயங்களை மட்டும் ஷேர் பண்ணிப்போம் " அப்டின்னு சொல்லிடுங்க ......இதனால யாருக்கும் மனசுக் கஷ்டம் இல்லாம இருக்கும் .....


இன்னொண்ணு .....இதுல , உங்களோட ஈகோ பிரச்சினை எங்கேர்ந்து வந்தது ? இந்த விஷயத்துல , உங்க ஈகோ எதுவுமே வெளிப்படலியே .....


தவிர, நீங்க ரொம்ப ஷை டைப் ஆக இருக்கறதனால , இப்படி நினைக்கறீங்க ....வேற ஒண்ணும் இல்ல ......


ஆக , இனிமே அவங்களே , அவங்களோட பர்சனல் விஷயங்களை உங்ககிட்ட சொன்னாலும் , நீங்க , எந்த ஒரு விஷயத்தையும் , யார்கிட்டயுமே சொல்லாம இருந்து , எல்லாரும் நல்ல friends ஆக இருந்து , சந்தோஷமா இருங்க .....
Jayanthy! I feel pretty better now! thanks alot jayanty! i'm 24 years this year thats not consider i'm a 'little girl. my ego heads out when we fight and i will never initiate the talk. so here my ego comes and dances. anyways thank you so much jayanthy! Nambargal nallla choice pannithan friendship pai approve seyya vendum! :)
 

jv_66

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Jayanthy! I feel pretty better now! thanks alot jayanty! i'm 24 years this year thats not consider i'm a 'little girl. my ego heads out when we fight and i will never initiate the talk. so here my ego comes and dances. anyways thank you so much jayanthy! Nambargal nallla choice pannithan friendship pai approve seyya vendum! :)

Welcome Kanmany......

Little by little, you try to change your attitude of this egoism.....it will help you a lot, in your future life.......

Later , in your married life, the life could go smoother, only when you learn to adjust, mainly with your husband and in-laws.....for this, the egoism will never help......

So, better try to come out of it......

For this, let me tell you a tip.....

Whenever, you feel that , you have made a mistake, never hesitate to apologise for that......hereafter, you initiate to talk with the counterpart, eventhough it is not your mistake......

This attitude, will make miracles in life.......

Ipdi , konjam konjama ungalai change panni, indha maadhiri, sorry ketto, illai, pesa initiate panninaalo, ungaluku niraya friends irupanga, at the same time, married life la appodhaan hiccups illama,irukum......

Ellarume, ungalai paarthu,unga friends um idhe pola iruka pazhaguvaanga......and later, unga family members um (after marriage), ivalai pola oru wife/marumaga undaa apdinu ungalai kondaduvaanga......

So, inime , lifela, eppavum, idhe pola situation vandha, just think about my suggestion, and you may implement it.......

Adhe pola, friends ellam, select panni, friendship vachukka mudiyadhu.....ellarodavum friend a irukalaam......but poga poga pazhagum bodhu, yaar kitta, endhalavu personal vishayangalai share pannalaamnu purinchu seyal padanum.....avlodhaan......

idhula, neenga thappu senjuttadha feel pannina, udane sorry kettudunga.....there is nothing harm in it.....

All the best, dear......:thumbsup
 
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#9

Welcome Kanmany......

Little by little, you try to change your attitude of this egoism.....it will help you a lot, in your future life.......

Later , in your married life, the life could go smoother, only when you learn to adjust, mainly with your husband and in-laws.....for this, the egoism will never help......

So, better try to come out of it......

For this, let me tell you a tip.....

Whenever, you feel that , you have made a mistake, never hesitate to apologise for that......hereafter, you initiate to talk with the counterpart, eventhough it is not your mistake......

This attitude, will make miracles in life.......

Ipdi , konjam konjama ungalai change panni, indha maadhiri, sorry ketto, illai, pesa initiate panninaalo, ungaluku niraya friends irupanga, at the same time, married life la appodhaan hiccups illama,irukum......

Ellarume, ungalai paarthu,unga friends um idhe pola iruka pazhaguvaanga......and later, unga family members um (after marriage), ivalai pola oru wife/marumaga undaa apdinu ungalai kondaduvaanga......

So, inime , lifela, eppavum, idhe pola situation vandha, just think about my suggestion, and you may implement it.......

Adhe pola, friends ellam, select panni, friendship vachukka mudiyadhu.....ellarodavum friend a irukalaam......but poga poga pazhagum bodhu, yaar kitta, endhalavu personal vishayangalai share pannalaamnu purinchu seyal padanum.....avlodhaan......

idhula, neenga thappu senjuttadha feel pannina, udane sorry kettudunga.....there is nothing harm in it.....

All the best, dear......:thumbsup

Jayanthy! yeah you are right indeed! i will definitely will apply your helpful suggestion id at all i face the same problem again! After this i will never hesitate to apologise if the mistake in my court. thank you so much Jayanthy! because i really was seeking for this piece of advice! with your 'magical' suggestion i will be a good friend, great wife and amazing daughter in law! :)
 

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