Any help from Tamil women !

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#1
I am a Punjabi girl who recently got married into a Tamil Brahmin family. In Punjabi society, the mother-in-law gives "bari" to the bride once she enters the house after wedding. "Bari" is the things that a mother-in-law has made for her daughter-in-law. Normally, it includes 11 sets of clothing and jewellery. Most upper middle class families give 3 jewellery sets. I would like to know what is the culture in Tamil Brahmin society? My in-laws are very friendly and quite liberal. The first time I visited their house with my dad about 4 months back after my wedding had been finalised, they gifted me a saree. Then, a month later my sister-in-law (my husband's sister) got married and my in-laws gave me a lehnga to celebrate the wedding as my mother-in-law put it. For the wedding,my in-laws had come to Delhi and they didn't bring anything for me which was odd in our culture. I thought it was because they didn't want to bring anything while travelling. A few days later when my husband and I visited Chennai for a few days, I again came back empty handed from the house. This is very very strange in Punjabi culture. I spoke to my husband and when he asked my mother-in-law if she has anything made for me, my MIL replied that since the wedding happened at such short notice, she couldn't get a set made for me from the jewellery that my husband's grandmother left. I have no doubt she would give me at least 1 jewellery set. But I would like to know if this is normal in Tamil culture. Because it is very embarrassing here in Punjabi society and I have to make up stories of my "bari" when my friends ask me about it.
 

sumathisrini

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#2
Hi @SM2016,

Weclome to 'Penmai'.


In Tamil Brahmin community, there is no such compulsion to offer jewels and dress as you mentioned in the name of 'bari'. They'll buy an engagement silk saree and/or Muhurtha saree & Thirumangalyam/Thaali (Mangal Sutra) only. If MIL like to give any jewels to DIL, she can give. This is her own well & wish. This is not compulsion.
 
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#3
Hi @sumathisrini , Kindly tell me how to delete both my posts. I don't want to keep them online anymore as you have satisfactorily given me an answer.

Kindly reply.
Thanks.
 

gkarti

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#6
This is a very unique feature of this blog.
THis is a General Rule of any Forum Yaar @SM2016

And Reg your Profile Deletion, Check our Forum Rules,

Quitting from Penmai

We look forward your continued participation in our Penmai.com, but if you want to leave for any reasons, please just quit from here. Don't post that I am quitting, those posts will be deleted. We don't want to leave any foot mark of leaving.

We won't delete your post, that you had already posted. Please don't message us to delete the post. It fully depends on the rights of Administrator.

We understand your world!!! :)

http://www.penmai.com/forums/forum-rules-faqs/3-forum-rules-dont-ignore-these-rules.html#post25591
We cant Delete your Account here. If you dont Want to Continue, Just leave or dont Sign in.

Thanks for Understanding!
 

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