backbiting mil

#1
me and my husband settled in us after our marriage. here we have some good tamil friends, we actually mingle like a family. recently my mil came here, without knowing our relations she told somethings bad about me and my family.

before marriage they demanded for 80 sovereigns of gold. but my parents they gave only 50 sovereigns. they actually deposited the money to my account. she knows that too. but hiding this and told that their parents didnt put the remaining.

i was very very upset after hearing this. now what can i do ? do i need to tell this to my husband and ask her or i have to ask her directly regariding this?

she stays here for a month. i was bit feared that she may spoil my family name further more in these day if i left this matter without asking to her. and also i dont want to hurt her and spoil her vacation.
 
#2
Hai [MENTION=138618]vasanthirm[/MENTION]

Stay strong! This is the most common problem in ones family and dont worry much. All you need to do is, tell your husband. Make him understand that you have an issue dealing with your mil. Dont do the mistake of talking to your mil about this. That will lead to backfire. It made things worse. Better neglect your mil's behavior. Always be calm and good to her and dont expect anything in return. Be Patient whenever she finds fault on you. You have to throw out the things which annoys your mind and heart the most. Simply direct and balance the life into your own path without making any mess. Dont get stress out all mil's are a challenge. God bless :)
 

RathideviDeva

Registered User
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#3
Hi [MENTION=138618]vasanthirm[/MENTION],
As a person, who has been in your shoes before, i very well understand what you are going through. In my situation, my MIL, lied about me as well as my parents. When ever she brought up matters about my parents, directly to me, I used to take it personally and I would defend for my parents dignity. As Amrudha suggested, this only backfired and made the situation worse. It never stopped. My parents were directly hurt by her.

Just ignore her. Tell it to your husband, and just make him understand your feeling. Dont push him to defend you. This will take away the peace between you guys, as husband's cannot go beyond certain limit with their parents.

At the end of the day, you will be the most hurt. Just understand this, ignore and move on. Ignoring is not defeat. It is just not letting others taking control of your life. One day your MIL might eventually realise and stop this.

All the best.
 
#4
Hi

"she told somethings bad about me and my family" whats ur family here - u, ur husband and kids it should be..

[FONT=arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif]now coming to the point of ur MIL's false accusations among ur friends, totally ignore those.. First no one will be cared about what happened. second, gossips and chit chats have much better things to discuss than one's family matters.. [/FONT]

[FONT=arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif]Now the rule is, dont ever point at ur MIL about all her comments and dont ask ur husband to confront her.. It will totally spoil the peace and relationship at home.. But do inform ur husband about these incidents and pretend that "i just wanted to inform u nothing much" .. He will understand and be supportive in the ways he can do.. [/FONT]

[FONT=arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif]when we take matters seriously into our heads, it literally spoils up everything.. u just let her the way she is and u just take care of ur family..

[/FONT]good luck..