confused a lot

Jul 7, 2014
ours was love marriage. thought parents were not agreed initially atlast accepted for us. my hubby was from kerla native. i was fully brought up in tamilnadu. now my mil is forcing to follow their culture in each and every thing food, spiritual etc. it was giving irritation to me . i can't adjust their food like eating the big rice (matta rice) adding coconut in everything etc. how can i explain her that i want be me.


Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 2, 2011
Welcome to Penmai.....Kamala.

It is not only in your case but in every married ladies' life has to be adjusted in almost all the way after she gets married.

Even if the woman gets married in the same caste and religion, each house will have different way of cooking, different traditions may be followed and even in spiritual followings, it may differ from house to house.

But till now, almost all the married women are following all the customs and traditions along with the way of cooking , only according to their In-laws' house.

This is the common practice.

We have to make up our mind to change us entirely and adjust to whatever be the change in lifestyle in the In-laws' house after marriage.

And in your case, you could have very well had a prior discussion with your husband , well before your marriage about the type of food and all the other practices.

Now, you can do one thing. Strictly follow all the practices of your in-laws, except the rice and added coconut. If you follow all the others, your MIL may understand your dislike for the matta rice and coconut and will surely accept for your type of cooking for yourself.

Please try to adjust in all the practices along with your inlaws, to keep up the Family Harmony, just for your lovable husband.

You know something, that matta rice is very good for health when compared to our Polished white rice. The white rice is not at all good for health. All the other state people are now, slowly shifting to the brown rice (similar to matta rice) due to health consciousness.

All the best.

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