Don't just speak with your MIL

Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
61
Likes
279
Location
Palani
#1
hi viewers,
i know that every married girl at one point or another have a difference of opinion with your mil.(i have many). one seeing some of the posts here, but a good relation with MIL, i thought i would pen the ideas how i handle my mil.
we are a joint family (me, my hubby, mil, hubby's elder bro, his wife n two kids). i know it is a big clan. though there would be vast opinion clashes there is definitely many good things living in a big family.
so, getting back to the topic of training your MIL,
these may be some of your problems.
1) she never appreciates your cooking
2) she still has a strong hold on your hubby (still!)
3) she hurts you with her words
4) always giving guidelines in each n everything(mine did)
5) no financial independance as she interferes in everything
there many be many other reasons that cause misunderstanding. whatever the problem may be, there is only one solution which will definitely work.
Dont Speak. But TALK.
Yes, you read it correctly. talk with your mil. there is a vast difference between talking and speaking. Speaking is a one way communication whereas talking is a conversation.
I didnt mean that you should argue with your mil. but have a conversation. let her know that you get hurt when certain things are done in a certain way.
Talking will reduce your stress level too. believe me, after a genuine talk you will feel relieved as if the burden has been removed from you.
One important thing while talking is maintaining your patience. 90% of the arguments are only due to the tone on the voice and not on the content of your speech.
Talk with genuine love and she will understand for sure. Nobody wants to have fights and cause havoc in a household. it will affect everybody's peace of mind.
One more thing dear ladies, when you fight with your mil, please do not restrict your children to get close to them. this will surely increase the feeling of insecurity in your mil and in turn she will try to get a stronger grip on her child (your poor hubby).
so let us talk with MILs, talk in a milder tone.
Since i say all this, it doesn't mean that I do not fight with my mil. I do. But, I never restrict my daughter to reach out to her,
I never complain immediately to my hubby who returns home tired after a long days work.
i talk with my MIL often. i let her know how I felt about things that happened.

SO, just try out this and let me know what changes happened.
 

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Joined
Dec 2, 2011
Messages
32,163
Likes
83,727
Location
Bangalore
#3
Welcome to Penmai @madhuksharaa

Thanks a lot for your wonderful tips. It will be very useful for many.

Do share more.
 

kkmathy

Minister's of Penmai
Joined
Jun 9, 2012
Messages
3,189
Likes
6,652
Location
Malaysia
#8
Hi Mathu,
You have given very good suggestions and it is really good advice too.
Thanks for sharing.
 

girija chandru

Ruler's of Penmai
Penman of Penmai
Blogger
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
10,005
Likes
9,075
Location
coimbatore
#9
@madhuksharaa, nice tips.... thanks for sharing....

I too opine that as we are coming from a different family, we cant expect mil to understand or agree with us....

as for me, I am a keralite brahmin... I was given in marriage to tamil
brahmin.

definitely, our ways of cooking will be different....

I lived with three brothers-in-law and family, two sisters-in-law !!!

My husband was the youngest....

I was able to survive, because,

1) I obey elders...
2) I don't speak back..
3) en sogam ennodu thaan... i dont share my griefs....
4) i love children... (all children will support me !!! appudiyae thappichiduvane !!!!)
5) i am a hard worker.... (i used to get up by 4 a.m.,.cook and go to my school (I was the Vice-principal at that time.... thiruvotriyur to vyasrapadi travelling.... I will get back by 7 p.m. nigt dinner, I should do...no regrets, no grumblings or mumblings....)
6) with love, affection and soft words, I won the hearts of all inlaws...
 

Important Announcements!

Type in Tamil

Click here to go to Google transliteration page. Type there in Tamil and copy and paste it.