Fall into the parent trap


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
Fall into the parent trap

Before you start considering baby names, make sure you have these parenting fundamentals in place...

Becoming a parent is an exciting new adventure to embark on and ensuring that you've got all your baggage checked-in, seat-belts tied and tickets booked will make the journey more enjoyable.

Hegemony versus instinct
As soon as the mandap comes down, that annoying question erupts: When is the good news? To prove your fertility to the world and family is the worst reason to have a baby. It doesn't matter if dadaji wants to see his great-grandchild by next year. Having babies is not necessarily the next step after marriage. Have them only if you and your partner feel ready to take your relationship to the next level.

Health up
Gear up mentally and physically. As the baby will be a tenant in the mother's body for nine months, her psychological and physical health influence the foetus. In consultation with your doctor or gynaecologist, undergo a list of tests.

Do you have the Moolah?
Having a baby means inviting many new expenses. Plan for short-term and long-term expenses and also have a contingency plan for emergencies, say, a C-Section during delivery.

- Set a budget for the baby's medical and other needs.
- Mothers often repent after 'abandoning' their baby for work. So, for the health of the family, cushion your parental journey financially or work out alternatives such as flexi-timing, freelancing, working-from-home, etc.

Emotional workout
Spouses need to know each other well before plunging into parenthood. Talk to your partner about whether he/she is ready to have a baby. And if you are not, it is okay to clarify goals such as, "I will feel more comfortable having a baby in two years, when we have a car" or "When I am able to take care of the home loan by myself". Setting a time frame will help you warm up to the idea.

Check in the baggage
Most people have emotional issues that make them feel underconfident to be a mother or father, but they don't have to come in your way. Being aware of them is half the problem solved, and seeking professional help takes care of the rest.

Pick a style
Most important is to be on the same parenting page as your partner, never matter if you can't decide on a name. Just don't hold a grudge against him or her!

- The parenting approach is important. What are your ideas on discipline? Do you hold academic excellence above artistic abilities? Resolving conflicts in major areas will ensure both of you have a
consistent and appropriate approach.

- Concur on the involvement of both sets of grandparents to avoid bias. If either parent has unhappy childhood memories, they should be resolved. You can discuss how to limit the exposure of undesirable relatives to the child.

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