help me to handly my husband

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#1
i am the only daughter to my parents, married before 3 years. for the last 2 years i am giving part of my salary to them, but for the last one year my husband is scolding me indirectly regarding giving money.

how to explain my husband thats my duty. they had spent all the money to my marriage and to my studies.

its really hurting me a lot..
 

sumitra

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#3
i am the only daughter to my parents, married before 3 years. for the last 2 years i am giving part of my salary to them, but for the last one year my husband is scolding me indirectly regarding giving money.

how to explain my husband thats my duty. they had spent all the money to my marriage and to my studies.

its really hurting me a lot..
Dear sindhiyaks, I understand your problem. I am also only daughter to my parents. My parents have fully used their entire savings to get me married. They got me job also. After getting the job (before my marrige) I used to hand over my entire salary to my father. with all the money accumulated through my salary and their earlier savings they arranged my marriage. After my marriage I used to give my entire salary to my father with the permission from my husband but my father refused to accept the money from me. After wards some how my father is managing their expenditure.

In your case at least your husband allowed you to give a part of your salary to your father. Now your husband is objecting means there is no wrong in that. You have to some how convince your husband and somehow help your father and mother by giving some amount of money from your salary. or if your husband allows you can bring your father and mother along with your family to look after the children when you and your husband are away for work. By that you can feed your father and mother instead of rendering financial support.
or
apply for some loan from your office and hand over the fund raised through this loan (but with this also you have to do with the knowledge of your husband only ) All the best. thank you
 

jv_66

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#4
Welcome to Penmai, Sindhiya.

Sad to hear about this.

Actually, you should have discussed about this matter, to your husband (then - your wouldbe) , well before your marriage.


Only some men do accept for this agreement. Many Indian men can never accept this.

They would hesitate to accept your parents as their parents.

This is common with every men.

Every Indian parent who gets married their daughter would face the same situation.

So, if you have talked earlier to your husband regarding this and if he is objecting now , it is a different matter.
You can ask for his clarification, why he has changed his mind after marriage, regarding the decision.

May be, your husband is in any financial commitment, that needs your contribution also.

How can your parents spend all their money for your need , without saving for their future?

Now, there is no other go, than to talk to your parents.
Tell them, that it may not be possible for you to help them financially, in future.

You may ask your father to continue to go for a job and earn for their living.

You can also tell your husband, that you may help them with minimum amount possible. If he agrees to this, you may give a small amount, which will not make a big burden for your husband.

He might think about your family(you, your husband and children)'s future, and may object due to this.

And your parents will also get addicted to your money for their living. I think, they will not be much older people, who cannot earn their own money.

You should go along with your husband's wishes to keep your married life harmonial.

When your parents become very old, your husband himself might help them generously.

So, try to reduce the amount you give to your parents, and make them understand your position, of not losing your married life.


I am also the only daughter to my parents, but I am not working from the beginning.

Being in the middle class family, they spent for my studies, my marriage, and also for their future savings.

Though my husband is ready to give them any money, after so many years of marriage (they are very old now), they never accept from him.

Earlier, we were in Joint-family, and we could not offer them money, and also they never expected any money from me.

So, this is a common issue, and you should not worry much about this.

I again tell that you should make your parents understand your position.

If you are listening to your husband's words now,he will have a good opinion about you and your parents and he will help them later.
 
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thenuraj

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#5
Hi jayanthy akka & sumi akka................ Good Advice..... but naama ennathan maariagekku munadi hubby kuda discuss pannalum, after marriage niram maarum manitharkal eeralam......... ithu enakku therintha innoru case----vidhivasathal maganidame ellavatraiyum izhanthu magan irunthalum magalai mattume nambi irukkum petravarkalin nilaimaiyil irunthu yosithal pavama irukku..... avarkalum ennathan seiya mudiyum....???.............. magal vazhvil nammal problem varukirathunu therinthum ippadi irukka avarkalukku mattum aasaiyaa enna....???
 

jv_66

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Hi jayanthy akka & sumi akka................ Good Advice..... but naama ennathan maariagekku munadi hubby kuda discuss pannalum, after marriage niram maarum manitharkal eeralam......... ithu enakku therintha innoru case----vidhivasathal maganidame ellavatraiyum izhanthu magan irunthalum magalai mattume nambi irukkum petravarkalin nilaimaiyil irunthu yosithal pavama irukku..... avarkalum ennathan seiya mudiyum....???.............. magal vazhvil nammal problem varukirathunu therinthum ippadi irukka avarkalukku mattum aasaiyaa enna....???

Neenga solradhu romba correct Thenu.

Naanum idhai expect pannidhaan, avanga husband first OK nu sollitu, ippo hesitate panradha irundha, adhuku enna reason apdinu kelunga nu solliruken.

Aamaam pa.....indha kaalathula magan , magal yaarayum namba mudiyadhu. Adhukudhaan, namma sondha panathai, future kkagavum serthu vakkanumnu solradhu.

Indha case la, indha maapillai nallavara irundhadhala dhaan rendu varusham onnume sollalai. Aana, indha maadhiri ella maappillai galum irupanga nu solla mudiyadhe.....idhellam expect pannidhaan, first lerndhe panam serthu vachukanum apdinu sonnen.

Ennoda parents enna solranga na, "engalala udambu mudiyara varai naanga thaniya, enga sondha sambathiyathula dhaan irupom, mudiyadha podhu, nee help pannu" apdinu vairakiyama irukanga.

En appavuku 80 years kitta aagudhu, innum, thannala mudincha alavula, udambuku strain illama, velai paarthu panam sambidhikirar.

Ammavum , slogam books ellam print senju panam sambadhikiranga.

Adhanaladhaan, indha ponnoda parents, chinna vayasa dhaan irupanga, adhanala earn pannalaame, maappillai kitta keta per edhuku vanganum apdinu sonnen.

 

Sriramajayam

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#7
Hello Mumbai Sindhiyaks,
Welcome to PENMAI..

:pray1:
Pl follow our friends words..
All d best & god bless u..
 

Sriramajayam

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#8
Hello SSSS & JV,

Super!

:clap2:​
 

thenuraj

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#10
Neenga solradhu romba correct Thenu.

Naanum idhai expect pannidhaan, avanga husband first OK nu sollitu, ippo hesitate panradha irundha, adhuku enna reason apdinu kelunga nu solliruken.

Aamaam pa.....indha kaalathula magan , magal yaarayum namba mudiyadhu. Adhukudhaan, namma sondha panathai, future kkagavum serthu vakkanumnu solradhu.

Indha case la, indha maapillai nallavara irundhadhala dhaan rendu varusham onnume sollalai. Aana, indha maadhiri ella maappillai galum irupanga nu solla mudiyadhe.....idhellam expect pannidhaan, first lerndhe panam serthu vachukanum apdinu sonnen.

Ennoda parents enna solranga na, "engalala udambu mudiyara varai naanga thaniya, enga sondha sambathiyathula dhaan irupom, mudiyadha podhu, nee help pannu" apdinu vairakiyama irukanga.

En appavuku 80 years kitta aagudhu, innum, thannala mudincha alavula, udambuku strain illama, velai paarthu panam sambidhikirar.

Ammavum , slogam books ellam print senju panam sambadhikiranga.

Adhanaladhaan, indha ponnoda parents, chinna vayasa dhaan irupanga, adhanala earn pannalaame, maappillai kitta keta per edhuku vanganum apdinu sonnen.

neenga sollurathu sarithan akka..... unga appa mathiriyethan enga appavum, intha vayasulayum avanga velaikku poi sambathikkarathai paartha & ninaichale enakku azhukaiya varum...... aana ponna piranthutome, naam enna pannu mudiyum......... but mudintha varai pennukku kastam tharamal vazhum pettravarkalthan athigam...... so Sindhiya, ithuikkaka kanavankita sandai pottu unga vazhkaiyai keduthukkama, Inga namma penmai friends sollura mathiri irukka try pannunga.......
 

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