Household chores drive couples apart


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
Household chores drive couples apart

If one goes by what marriage counsellors are saying, it's not death but household chores that do us part.

When Shantha walked into her house at 8pm after a hard day at work, the first thing she saw was her husband, teenage daughter and mother-in-law seated at the dining table, their eyes on the door. "You're here," said her husband. "We've been waiting. You can get started on the rotis right away."

Shantha says she does not know if it was the fatigue or the anger that did it, but it was at that moment that she broke down. "I've been working since my daughter turned two the same number of hours as my husband, our salaries are more or less the same, and still I'm the only person working as hard at home as in office," she says.

A few weeks after the incident, Shantha decided it was time to check in with either a counsellor or a divorce lawyer because the overload was getting to her. "I decided to give counselling a shot. And while he's not really helping at home, I can see some change in the last couple of months," she says.

Chennai-based marriage counsellor Chackochen Mathai says that 30% of the 150 couples he has counselled in the last couple of years have complained of husbands not chipping in with household tasks, despite the fact that all the women held full-time jobs.

The statistics are the same with Gurgaon-based marriage counsellor Gitanjali Sharma, who says that in 30% of her cases, chore-splitting is a large part of the problem, while in 5% of the cases, it is the sole issue. "But I must admit, even in the remaining 70%, it surfaces as an issue, where working women are stressed out as they find they cannot relax even at home," says Sharma.

"In most cases I have handled, I have found that the husband's parents are usually living with the working couple. The mother-in-law just cannot understand why her daughter-in-law does not take care of her family the way she did," says Mathai.

According to a 2010 study conducted by the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW), in India, only 16% of men reported that they played an equal or greater role in household duties, which included washing clothes, house repairs and cleaning, buying and making food and paying the bills.
Jul 7, 2012
I'm living through this sad reality my friend! As a result, I started hating my job now. I'm fully committed to finding a way to earn from home! Hope I will succeed very soon. :typing:

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