How do we build trust and confidence of our better half.

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#1
Dear all, this is my situation i wud describe. Please forgive me if I am confusing....


One day all of a sudden, we were asked to accept a new person into our life. Your would-be wants to talk and know you better and better and same is the case with you too. but something is stopping you or too conscious to be open and welcoming him. How to handle this situation?


Thanks,
Radhu.
 

jv_66

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#2
Hi Radhu,

You are not at all confusing and you need not be forgiven for asking this.

You have a welcome question, which many to -be married girls may face.

Yes, you may feel little shy to get along the new member who is entering your life all of a sudden.

In this case, the FRIENDLY TALK before marriage, will surely help you to get accustomed with the new person.

Now, think him as a new friend in your college or office. How will you move with the new friend? Treat him in the similar way.

First say hai, hello, and then talk about his office, his college, his school and others.

Then talk about his likings, like what kind of foods he likes, what movies he would like to watch, what kind of books does he read etc.

Probably, if he is the first one who wanted to talk with you, he would be asking all these questions, and it is just enough to answer them. simultaneously, you can reciprocate your questions.

By this time (after so much conversations), you would have become much more friendly with him.

Now, you can ask him about his siblings, where do they study or work, about his parents etc.At the same time, you can tell him about your siblings and parents.

Now, after these freindly talks, you would feel very close to him. You will now be very much eager to know more about him once you get married. The intimacy will surely increase by these friendly talks.

If suppose, he is talking about some sexual relationship between you two (which is going to happen after marriage), and if you don't like the way he is talking, you please tell him, in a soft manner, that you don't like to open these matters, before marriage, and that, you will enjoy those talks, only after marriage.

Some men may talk these things, just to know whether, the girls are interested in these matters, even before marriage, and if you show much interest, may tease you later.

So, better avoid this. And please do not cross the limits in your intimacy (physical activity)before marriage.

Now a days, the girls and boys are gifted, to have a chance to get accustomed well before marriage. Think of the olden days, when the couples were not allowed to meet each other or to talk.

so, utilize this golden moments wisely and know a lot about him, so that you both get accustomed with each other.


 

sumathisrini

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#3
Hi Radhu,

You are not at all confusing and you need not be forgiven for asking this.

You have a welcome question, which many to -be married girls may face.

Yes, you may feel little shy to get along the new member who is entering your life all of a sudden.

In this case, the FRIENDLY TALK before marriage, will surely help you to get accustomed with the new person.

Now, think him as a new friend in your college or office. How will you move with the new friend? Treat him in the similar way.

First say hai, hello, and then talk about his office, his college, his school and others.

Then talk about his likings, like what kind of foods he likes, what movies he would like to watch, what kind of books does he read etc.

Probably, if he is the first one who wanted to talk with you, he would be asking all these questions, and it is just enough to answer them. simultaneously, you can reciprocate your questions.

By this time (after so much conversations), you would have become much more friendly with him.

Now, you can ask him about his siblings, where do they study or work, about his parents etc.At the same time, you can tell him about your siblings and parents.

Now, after these freindly talks, you would feel very close to him. You will now be very much eager to know more about him once you get married. The intimacy will surely increase by these friendly talks.

If suppose, he is talking about some sexual relationship between you two (which is going to happen after marriage), and if you don't like the way he is talking, you please tell him, in a soft manner, that you don't like to open these matters, before marriage, and that, you will enjoy those talks, only after marriage.

Some men may talk these things, just to know whether, the girls are interested in these matters, even before marriage, and if you show much interest, may tease you later.

So, better avoid this. And please do not cross the limits in your intimacy (physical activity)before marriage.

Now a days, the girls and boys are gifted, to have a chance to get accustomed well before marriage. Think of the olden days, when the couples were not allowed to meet each other or to talk.

so, utilize this golden moments wisely and know a lot about him, so that you both get accustomed with each other.



Very nice suggestion Jayanthy... you are always rocking dear :).
 

Parasakthi

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#5
Hi Radhu,

You are not at all confusing and you need not be forgiven for asking this.

You have a welcome question, which many to -be married girls may face.

Yes, you may feel little shy to get along the new member who is entering your life all of a sudden.

In this case, the FRIENDLY TALK before marriage, will surely help you to get accustomed with the new person.

Now, think him as a new friend in your college or office. How will you move with the new friend? Treat him in the similar way.

First say hai, hello, and then talk about his office, his college, his school and others.

Then talk about his likings, like what kind of foods he likes, what movies he would like to watch, what kind of books does he read etc.

Probably, if he is the first one who wanted to talk with you, he would be asking all these questions, and it is just enough to answer them. simultaneously, you can reciprocate your questions.

By this time (after so much conversations), you would have become much more friendly with him.

Now, you can ask him about his siblings, where do they study or work, about his parents etc.At the same time, you can tell him about your siblings and parents.

Now, after these freindly talks, you would feel very close to him. You will now be very much eager to know more about him once you get married. The intimacy will surely increase by these friendly talks.

If suppose, he is talking about some sexual relationship between you two (which is going to happen after marriage), and if you don't like the way he is talking, you please tell him, in a soft manner, that you don't like to open these matters, before marriage, and that, you will enjoy those talks, only after marriage.

Some men may talk these things, just to know whether, the girls are interested in these matters, even before marriage, and if you show much interest, may tease you later.

So, better avoid this. And please do not cross the limits in your intimacy (physical activity)before marriage.

Now a days, the girls and boys are gifted, to have a chance to get accustomed well before marriage. Think of the olden days, when the couples were not allowed to meet each other or to talk.

so, utilize this golden moments wisely and know a lot about him, so that you both get accustomed with each other.


Very Good suggestions jayathi ka..
 
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#7
Thank you sis... By nature, I am very friendly person and I love to talk.
I guess i am over cautious when he is around. Even he was saying that I am not the same person whom he talked with initially! I am bit scared too...

We keep talking abt all this stuff whatever you said. Family, Friends, movies, food habits, my boss, his boss... But even then I feel some background process running to keep analyzing him.

I hope i should beleive in it and keep going.
Thanks once again to ur suggestions.

Radhu
 

Prabha RK

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#8
hai radhu akka.,
its not only you..many girls fear to have a talk with their better half before marraige..
u know.... u r more better than other girls...

my sister is a chatter box but when she was asked to talk to her hubby before marraige she will be stammering with words....but now, after marraige she tells it was a grt opportunity so that she can not only adjust and move with him but also with her in-laws family too.

think it positively as jayanthy maam say. jayanthy maam told rightly its not like olden time use the chance.

if u r scared to talk to him. let him talk...you be a good listener..yes, listen to his talks and know about him,his habits and also his family(your laws)..it may built a good understanding too... you can outcome without any scare.

make urself comfortable don't be over cautious before him....nothing is going to be wrong....... be in confidence and consider him as ur friend ..picture urself as talking with ur new friend so that u may feel better.



images (1).jpg
have a wonderful life together .

--prabha
 

sumitra

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#9
Hi Radhu, it is very common feeling with all girls. Don't get confused with this feeling. For example you have been appointed in a company in your own city. You have been adjusted to the environment somehow and suddenly your boss has been changed and new boss has come. How do you adjust. Or think of a situation wherein you have been transferred to a city where people speak different language and also different culture. How do you adjust. Hence don't worry too much. Think wisely, use your commonsense and move with him in a normal way. In the beginning it will be difficult but the time is the best solution giver for your problem Hence when days passed you will become normal and your way also will become comfortable. all the best. thank you!
 

jv_66

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#10
Thank you sis... By nature, I am very friendly person and I love to talk.
I guess i am over cautious when he is around. Even he was saying that I am not the same person whom he talked with initially! I am bit scared too...

We keep talking abt all this stuff whatever you said. Family, Friends, movies, food habits, my boss, his boss... But even then I feel some background process running to keep analyzing him.

I hope i should beleive in it and keep going.
Thanks once again to ur suggestions.

Radhu

Yes Radhu, since he is going to be your life partner and is going to share everything in your life, you ought to TRUST him.

Don't be anyalizing him. This is not a business which we run, in which , we suspect the cashier in his initial days. Even in business, Trust is the most important criteria , and the owner needs to trust his employees.

But this is life, and he is going to be your better half. So go ahead in Trusting him fully, and devote yourself fully to him. This is very much necessary in love and marriage.

 

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