how to manage my strict mil

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#1
hi all i am meenakshi. i got married in jan. ours is an arranged marriage. my husband is a software engineer. the relation between me and my husband is very good. but my prob is with my mil. she is always particular about my dressing. she expect me to wear saree in all days. she even not accepting to wear nighties. now i am wearing salwars when i am in home also because of her compulsion. but for that too, she is scolding indirectly. i told my husband about my mil. he also talked with his mother and she is not ok. and again i got blasphemy from her. i cant able to wear saree for the whole day. i am not comfortable with that. but if i said this she is not accepting. she is asking yen nanga selai kattitu velai seiyalayanu. even my sister in law is wearing night dresses in home. but she is putting restrictions for me only. i am really fed up. please tel what should i do. should i adjust with her conditions? or how to manage her?
 

jv_66

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#2
Welcome to Penmai.....Friend.

Please do not worry.

This is such a simple matter to be adjusted. This is not at all a big issue.

Ladies who are conservative type, do think like this only. They cannot accept their DILs to wear any kind of modern dresses or wear the nighties at home.

At the same time, they do allow or doesn't object to their daughter's activities.

This is quite common in most of the houses and not new.

Now, coming to your problem in wearing the saree, the whole day, it is not at all a big problem.

With any new dresses you start to wear, you will surely feel uncomfortable to wear it all throughout the day.

Since you would have started wearing the saree only for the past few months, you are feeling uncomfortable.

You can explain this to your MIL.

But once you start wearing it continuously for few days or weeks, you will certainly get used to it.

It all happened to us also.

First of all , you should make up your mind, to get used to wear the saree all throughout the day. Then it will seem to be easy, though a little uncomfortable in the initial days.

But if you go on grumble your MIL's attitude and wear the saree, you will surely feel uncomfortable , even in your 50's.

You can wear the nighties during the night times before going to bed. she will not object for this.

For this simple reason, you need not earn a bad impression from your MIL.

You can very well adjust with her.

Still there may be lots of things to be adjusted in the in-laws' house. Of course it is a place where you cannot feel as much free as your parent's home.

Once we get married, we need to adjust to many things to keep up the family harmony.

So, please don't get disheartened and adjust to her .
 
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ramyaraj

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#4
I think you are managing the situation very well. night dress day time la podurathu nalla irukkathu thaan. anaa chudithaar podarathu onnum thappilai.

ippa vayasanavanka kuda chudithar thaan pottukiranka athu thaan vasathiyaa irukkunnu.

avanka unkalai indirectaa thana thitraanka, neenka kandukama irunka, pesinaa prachanai varum. amaithiyaa irunthidunka appuram avankale konja naalla vittuduvaanka.

neenka eppavum chudithar mattum pottukama, naal kilamaiyila saree kattikkonka. Fridays you can wear sarees.

ithe unka Ammaa sonnaa neenka tension aaga maateenka avankalukku coolaa pathil solveenka, antha maathiri ninaichikonka, easyaa eduththkkonka tension vendaam. tension aanaa naama kaalam pura... tension aaga vendiyathu thaan.

unka side avankalukku puriyavaikka muyarchi pannunka mudiyalainaa amaithiyaa irunthidunka sandai vendaam. ella familylaiyum ethavathu oru prachanai irukkum.

each coin has two sides. antha mathiri manushankakitta positive and negative rendume irukkum. naama verum negative mattum eduthukka kudathu, avanka positivem yosichu paarunka.

actualaa naan en evvalavu solrennaa... enkaum kalyanam aana puthusila enka maamiyaar ethavathu sollum pothu... chinna vishayam kuda avanka etho ennai kodumai paduthira maathiri thonum. aanaa ippa ten years appuram yosichchaa sirippu thaan varuthu. naama en chinna vishayathukku poi ivvalavu tension aanomnnu ninaippen.

oru chinna incident solren. enaku malligai poo illainaa niththii malli ithu thaan thalaiyila vachikka pidikkum. enka maamiyaar ennai oru naalanchu rose serthu vachu thalaiyila vachikka solvaanka... enaku alukaiyaa varum... ethukku ivanka ennai ippadi torcher panrankannu ninaippen. aanaa enaku pidikalainnu solliduven sandai ellam poda maatten.

first konja naal thaan tension aagittu irunthen, ippa ellam enka Ammaatta pesura mathiri pesiduven. avankalum force panrathu illa. avankakitta sila per marumagakitta ippadi nadanthukko, appadi nadanthukkonnu confuse pannathunaala thaan konjanaal appadi irunthanka. ippa sonnaa kettukuvaanka.

avanka solrathukku ellam unkalai thalai aatta sollalai porumaiyaa pesunka sari aagidum. All the best.
 
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jv_66

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#5
Ramya.....Even I thought of telling her , that she can be satisfied now, because she is wearing Salwars at home. This would be more comfortable than the saree.

But I forgot to tell this before.

The salwars is a comfortable and also a decent dress which no one can deny in these days.

I was actually concentrating to tell her that any dress which is worn new, will always be uncomfortable and will take few days to get used to it.

And I wanted to tell to adjust to these petty issues.

So, Meenakshi, you can stick to your salwars and chudidhars.

You can also tell your MIL in a soft way, when she is in a good mood, that you are an young girl of this generation and many of your friends would tease you if you always wear a saree.

Tell her, you will wear both saree and salwars.
 

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