How to run a smooth family

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
#1
Friends......let us discuss here, the tips to run a smooth family, with no hiccups, ups and downs.

I thought of starting this thread later, but today, one of our friend has asked about this.

So, please share all your tips, to help others.

You may share it in Tamil, english or Tanglish.
 

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
#2
Now a days, smooth running of a family seems to be a HERCULIAN TASK, for many newly married couples.

To overcome this, the first mantra is ADJUSTMENT.

Adjustment with all the members of the family is the key word to run a smooth family.

When we enter into a new family, with all new faces, it will be little difficult to cope with everybody.

For this, before marriage, we need to make up our mind, to adjust with everybody.
 

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
#4
First, let us talk about our husband/spouse.

When talking with your husband/spouse, please do not reveal any unnecessary matters about your PAST.

Now a days, it is quite common, that each and every girl/boy, MIGHT (I am not telling everybody), have had an affair before marriage. It might not have succeeded.

So, it is not a HARD AND FAST RULE to tell all the things, which have happened before marriage, to the spouse.

This might create unnecessary ILL-FEELINGS.

Let us be LOYAL to the spouse after marriage.

PLEASE DO NOT HIDE ANY MATTERS AFTER MARRIAGE.
 
#7
Now a days, smooth running of a family seems to be a HERCULIAN TASK, for many newly married couples.

To overcome this, the first mantra is ADJUSTMENT.

Adjustment with all the members of the family is the key word to run a smooth family.

When we enter into a new family, with all new faces, it will be little difficult to cope with everybody.

For this, before marriage, we need to make up our mind, to adjust with everybody.
hello jeyanthi mam thanks a lot for your suggestion. useful to me. please tel more about maintaining good relationship with in-laws. also tel me what are the common problems we face once after entering into his family and how to handle those situations.
 

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
#9
hello jeyanthi mam thanks a lot for your suggestion. useful to me. please tel more about maintaining good relationship with in-laws. also tel me what are the common problems we face once after entering into his family and how to handle those situations.


​Thank you Devasakthi.
 

NivetaMohan

Penman of Penmai
Blogger
#11
Jeyan super ah solurikingaaaaaaaaa, ennaku ithu romba useful ah irukum.........nu ninaikirennnnnnnnnnnn
thank you jeyan super ah idea kuduthathukuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
:thumbsup
 
#14
super thread aunty..................

marriage fix aanavanga namma penmai kulla vanthutale podhum pola..........

family nalla lead panniduvanga.........
 
#15
Its a good thread Jayanthy:)
As you said, The problem today is adjustment..Because, before marriage the boy or the girl are the Prince/princess of the Parents family... But when they get married the girl has to enter in to the new world where the boy still is the prince and the girl feel lost... Its in the husband's hand to make the wife as the princess here too.. Like wise the girl has to adjust with new people too. Everybody can ask why always girl has to adjust.. lets go as a nuclear family... but Whether you go seperate or not.. adjusting with inlaws has to be always maintained... All are different people with different personalities...Maintain a diplomatic relationship with no hussles or tussles...

Between husband and wife... You both are two different individuals.. You come together in life because you like something in either of you.. Hold that tight... If you hold that tight, the other petty silly fights will not be a matter at all..One of the spouses being it husband or wife(depends upon family) has to be under or just pretend to be under theother... Udane dont think as slaves..
There should not be any ego between spouses.. There should not be shy in discussing the romance moments... One key tip to the wives is, Always underplay your intelligence when it comes to your family... Ofcourse you may be intelligent and be on par with your husband and also may be higher but when it comes to the family, always underplay it.. Why, because Men have a leadership mentality but when they go for work, they have to be under all other leadership and stress and discussion and arguments which really hurts their ego. They have to vent their feelings somewhere.. But when he comes to the family and when you make him feel like he is the head of the family, then the male ego gets satisfied a lot. This is the main trick to lead a happy family.. It doesnot mean that you have to be a dumb wife.. You should know when to stress your thought..

To the wives, Never talk about your parents family with your husband...or your inlaws, like.." Enga amma veetula.. enaku ithu seivanga.. naan ellam velaiye senjathu illa... ". Keep this in mind.. That not your family... Thats your parents family... you were treated as princess in your parents family.. Remember princess doesnot have any responsibilties.. but in your husbands family you will be the queen of the family... Queen does have umpteen responsibilities.. You should ready to take up..

And with the MIL.. She has been running the family for 30+ years.. she knows the nuances of her family, the financial situation of her family (that includes your husbands too..) So As soon as you enter your husbands family.. dont even think of getting the power of your MIL's hands.. She is a experienced person. She is just like your mom.. Try to win over her..Try to learn family members personalities from her including hers. Admire her for the work she has given to that family all these years and try to learn how she did it.. Remember always if you think that your husband is sweet,caring, responsbile etc etc person.. its all because of her.. Her brought up to be responsible person got you your dream husband.. So for that you should be very thankful...

Women is the driving force of the family.. So with no ego and only with loving and caring as the lubricant...you can ride the family bus smoothly with as much passangers in it...:)

Moderator Note:

This Article has been published in
Penmai eMagazine Aug 2013. You Can download & Read the magazines HERE.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Parasakthi

Registered User
Blogger
#16
Its a good thread Jayanthy:)
As you said, The problem today is adjustment..Because, before marriage the boy or the girl are the Prince/princess of the Parents family... But when they get married the girl has to enter in to the new world where the boy still is the prince and the girl feel lost... Its in the husband's hand to make the wife as the princess here too.. Like wise the girl has to adjust with new people too. Everybody can ask why always girl has to adjust.. lets go as a nuclear family... but Whether you go seperate or not.. adjusting with inlaws has to be always maintained... All are different people with different personalities...Maintain a diplomatic relationship with no hussles or tussles...

Between husband and wife... You both are two different individuals.. You come together in life because you like something in either of you.. Hold that tight... If you hold that tight, the other petty silly fights will not be a matter at all..One of the spouses being it husband or wife(depends upon family) has to be under or just pretend to be under theother... Udane dont think as slaves..
There should not be any ego between spouses.. There should not be shy in discussing the romance moments... One key tip to the wives is, Always underplay your intelligence when it comes to your family... Ofcourse you may be intelligent and be on par with your husband and also may be higher but when it comes to the family, always underplay it.. Why, because Men have a leadership mentality but when they go for work, they have to be under all other leadership and stress and discussion and arguments which really hurts their ego. They have to vent their feelings somewhere.. But when he comes to the family and when you make him feel like he is the head of the family, then the male ego gets satisfied a lot. This is the main trick to lead a happy family.. It doesnot mean that you have to be a dumb wife.. You should know when to stress your thought..

To the wives, Never talk about your parents family with your husband...or your inlaws, like.." Enga amma veetula.. enaku ithu seivanga.. naan ellam velaiye senjathu illa... ". Keep this in mind.. That not your family... Thats your parents family... you were treated as princess in your parents family.. Remember princess doesnot have any responsibilties.. but in your husbands family you will be the queen of the family... Queen does have umpteen responsibilities.. You should ready to take up..

And with the MIL.. She has been running the family for 30+ years.. she knows the nuances of her family, the financial situation of her family (that includes your husbands too..) So As soon as you enter your husbands family.. dont even think of getting the power of your MIL's hands.. She is a experienced person. She is just like your mom.. Try to win over her..Try to learn family members personalities from her including hers. Admire her for the work she has given to that family all these years and try to learn how she did it.. Remember always if you think that your husband is sweet,caring, responsbile etc etc person.. its all because of her.. Her brought up to be responsible person got you your dream husband.. So for that you should be very thankful...

Women is the driving force of the family.. So with no ego and only with loving and caring as the lubricant...you can ride the family bus smoothly with as much passangers in it...:)
Wow... super ka.. well said. You have pointed out important tricks to follow.
 
#19
Superb thread jayanthy... thanks for starting it with your inputs...

lakshmi your tricks are very very good. enjoyed all your points.
 

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