Husband hardly finds time for me

Feb 4, 2015
Hello all

Can you suggest me how to get close with my husband? He hardly spends time with me. He is keeping himself busy in browsing, playing games, watching sports or going out with his friends. I am feeling very lonely all the time. anybody here facing the same problem? why these men are not spending time their wives?


Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 2, 2011
Welcome to Penmai....friend.

If you are newly married, this is a common feature among many men.

Men do not come out so easily from their previous habits.

All the habits which you have mentioned would have been followed by him before your marriage.

And hence he would find it difficult to change them immediately, as we ladies do.

So, don't worry about this and the steps you should take to tackle this is as follows.

First of all talk to him. You can initiate your talks daily.

Once you wake up, you can greet him by saying "Good Morning".

Then ask about his tastes in food, while having coffee or tea with him (you can sit along with him for this).

While serving food, enquire about it's tastes and whether anything should be altered.

Tell him that you would like to keep ready the selected dresses for his office. and you can keep them ready while he is taking bath.

When he comes home , enquire about the happenings of the day , about the lunch you had given him.

You can talk while you have the coffee along with him after his office hours.

These kind of talks will ease him and will start to talk and get accustomed to the new wife .

You can initiate to spend your leisure time in outings.

Try to change your wishes according to him. It will be well and good, if you change his wishes as yours. Even if you are not able to change yourself, atleast don’t compel him to follow your wishes. This will, by itself happen in few more years of married life. By spending most of the time with him, both of you will start adjusting to other’s wishes.

If he wants to watch any programmes of his choice, you can also watch the same and have a healthy discussion over the programmes. Even if you are not interested in Sports or Politics, if you happen to watch along with him and start discussing, he will surely wish to explain them to you and in future, you will be the main person,with whom he wishes to discuss the matters. He will also have a good opinion that you are very well understanding his choices.

Atleast do not irritate him by changing the channels while he is watching it with much interest. You can continue with some other works during this time. If you follow this, he will also allow you to watch the programmes of your choice.

Again, if he wants to go for a movie or visit any other place of his choice, you may accept it immediately . The next time,, he will also accept your choice.

Never compare him with his friends or any other relative, regarding his educational qualifications or the current job.

These kind of activities and talks from you will surely attract him towards you and Later he will surely become so intimate to you.

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