I am in love with a divorcee


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
I am in love with a divorcee

Question: I am physically involved with a much elderly woman who is a divorcee. Initially, we had decided not to get emotionally connected but gradually I have started developing feelings for her. She, however, treats me as a sex buddy only. I am not sure whether I should continue meeting her or avoid her as this might lead to a lot of trouble for both of us.

Answer: Please try to have clarity of choice and feelings in this relationship. Long-term meaningful relationship is about mutual trust, understanding, respect, care, and some level of commitment. At times lack of clarity, different expectations from the relationship can add to confusion and cause turmoil. I suggest the following:

Ask yourself as to what do you want from the relationship.

- How do you see yourself in this relationship today and in the long run?
What are you prepared to give to this relationship? Try to understand the feelings of your partner. Try a healthy communication with her.
- What are her boundaries?
- Is she willing to invest similar feelings into this relationship?

At times it can be quite difficult to remain physically connected without emotional involvement. If her answer is 'No', I suggest you distance yourself from her, and involve yourself in a healthy routine, engage in creative hobbies that stimulate your self-esteem.

I suggest avoid enmeshment, rethink and redefine your goals and priorities in life.

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