i dont lik my husbands attitude

Feb 17, 2012
hi,i am kalaiyarasi am in Chennai with my husband. I am married for past 8 months. Ours was a arranged marriage. from the second month of our marriage we have problems.
My husband get angry for even small things. When he is angry he use to tell me so many things which hurts me. He use to tell me that he shouldnot have married me.When he is angry he will make me to cry and then he mentally tortues me with his questions.He is asuming things that i am happy when i am in my home. He was telling me so many things like our married life is a failure and he shouldnot have married me. He donnot give me any priority in his family. He even told me that blood relation is more precious than wife.......I cannot divorce him because of my parents.I donnot want them to hurt by my problems.So can any one tell me how to deal him?


Citizen's of Penmai
Jan 19, 2012
கவலை பட வேண்டாம் சகோதிரியே.....உங்களது பிரச்சனையை மிகவும் எளிதாக தீர்த்துவிடலாம் .....கல்யாணம் என்பது ஆயிரம் காலத்து பயிர்...பெரியோர்களால் முடிவு செய்யப்பட்ட திருமணம் .....மனைவி பிடிக்காமல் போனால் கணவனுக்கு மனைவி செய்யும் சிறிய தவறு செய்தால்கூட மிகபெரிய தவறாக தெரியும்....தங்களது கணவர் உங்களை அழ வைப்பதாக கூறியுள்ளீர்கள்...முதலில் அழுவதை நிறுத்துங்கள்...பெண்கள் அழகூடாது....அழுதால் தன்னம்பிக்கை இல்லை என்று அர்த்தம்....பாரதி கண்ட புதுமை பெண்ணாக மாறுங்கள்....பிரச்சனைகளை கண்டு துவள வேண்டாம்....சோதனைகளை சாதனைகளாக மாற்றுங்கள் ......பெண்களுக்கு மாமியார் வீட்டைவிட தாய் வீடு தான் மிகவும் பிடிக்கும்.. இது உலக நியதி தான்....இதற்காக வருத்தம் கொளல் வேண்டாம்...தங்களது புகுந்த வீட்டில் முக்கியத்துவம் பெற அனைவருடனும் அன்பாகவும் பணிவுடனும் மரியாதையுடனும் நடந்து கொள்ளுங்கள் .....முதலில் கடினமான பணியாக இருப்பினும் போக போக சரியாகிவிடும்...சுவையாக சமைத்து கணவருக்கும் அவரது பெற்றோருக்கும், பரிமாறுங்கள் ....தங்களது வீட்டு வேலைகளில் ஆர்வமுடன் பங்கெடுத்து கொள்ளுங்கள்....விவாகரத்து எளிதான தீர்வாகாது ....அழுகையுடன் கூடிய முகத்துடன் எப்போதும் இருக்கவேண்டாம்...புன்னகையுடன் இருக்க முயலுங்கள்....எதற்கும் பதட்டபடவேண்டாம் ....கணவரிடம் மனம்விட்டு பேசுங்கள்.....கணவருக்கும் அவரது வீட்டாருக்கும் பிடித்தவராக உங்களால் நடந்து கொள்ள முடியும்...உங்களால் ஒரு நல்ல குடும்ப தலைவியாக இருக்க முடியும்.. கணவன் திட்டும் போது அமைதியாக இருங்கள்... எதிர்த்து பேசவேண்டாம் .....அழவும் வேண்டாம் ..... அவரது கோபம் நீங்கியவுடன் உங்களது நிலையை பொறுமையுடனும் அமைதியாகவும் எடுத்துக்கூறுங்கள்...உங்களை அவர் புரிந்துகொள்வார்.... வாழ்க்கையில் வளம் பெற வாழ்த்துக்கள்...
Feb 22, 2012
hello sister,
i saw your post.dont worry in this world every problem has a solution. nothing is left unanswered. first thing you should have is be patience all the time. you sit alone for sometime and think about the suituation you both had fights. analyze it. why it happened?what you spoke? he spoke? what are the ways to avoid it so that the same dont happen in future? iam sure analysing it will give u a good solution.

if only ur husband is going to office then he may have problems in their office? or he may expect more from you? first understand what he expects from you. while he fights with you please dont make any arguments bcos most of the men dont like it. they want to be listened.
if you both work there is ego problem. we have to sacrifice some things to get some other things.

try to move like a friend with him. bcos in most of the couples the only problem is misunderstanding r ego etc.,
he is your's. be patience with him even if he tortures be smiling to him it will change him
all of a sudden nothing happens wait of some time meanwhile try to know abt his likes and dislikes adapt you for it. at the same always be adjusted with his family members etc.,so that they have soft corner for you. but please you do all this dedicately
iam sure you will soon post that you are happy

Vazhga valamudan


Minister's of Penmai
May 21, 2011
Hi kayal,
It happens at most of the household..you both are from different family setup and it will take sometime to adjust.. Even its arrange marriage, you both liked eachother and gave a go on this proposal rite... so there is love.. but it will take sometime to adjust... No body can say the marriage is a success/failure in just 2 mos.. and pls dont even think of divorce.. in just 8 months.. You havenot started your life yet..you will hardly know about each other in 8 months.. even after 10 years of marriage, there will a lot to learn between the couples about each other... so you take it slow.. May be he is having some pressure in the office.. May be, the way he thought about you guys married life a different way, but turned out to be different in reality..(dreams/reality clash). may be he has a ideal couple from his friends circle and want your married life to be like that one.. its all the same... Its just misunderstanding... My friendly suggestion is even he is angry and lets out his anger which hurts you.. dont talk back at that very moment.. Let him vent his anger and after sometime he would realise what he had said and done...but if you argue or cry or fight.. the purpose will totally wear off and you will forget the main purpose of the fight but the fight or anger will continue on what the words that had been uttered during the fight.... Some new husbands will think that they have to keep their brides very happy and they dont want their wife to even cry or fight.. cos the crying will make them think that they are not keeping their wife happy like she was happy in the mom's house., sometime they will have the feeling that she is always unhappy because he cannot live up to her expectations and the helplessness will vent out as anger..

Its your duty to understand your husband.. Give up your ego and ask him what he wants or likes in you.. Dont be shy/uncomfortable in talking anything or everything to your husband.. Only talk will make you understand him better...Put him first in every decision you take.. Crying will never solve any problems.. it will make people irritating..Put yourself in your husband's shoes everytime when any conflict arises..
And one more thing.. dont involve parents both yours and his in your matter and donot tell everything that happens here to your parents..Thats the main reason the fight arises as the girls parents will interfere or suggest something which a husband feels uncomfortable and dont want to discuss with...

you may ask why its always you who have to adjust.. But trust me.. if you can adjust these small things.. you dont want to be worried about your married life at all.. Everything is in Wife's hands in terms of marital realtionship. Male is always a male..be it husband/father/brother.. but its ladies way of handling different situation will make success in the mutual relationship...

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