inlaws against my will for work

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#1
my inlaws forcing me to not to go for work. i am the only girl for my parents. we had previously talked about that. at that time they agree but now they are not agreeing for me to work.

i am in post office dept, got this work after much struggles in life it is not easy to get another government job in future too.

how to convince them. my husband neutral state, fed up with his answers. help me.
 

jv_66

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#2
Hi @venmathiyaal

Sad to note the attitude of your in-laws.

What reasons are they telling for not allowing to continue your job?

If the below are the issues, then you can follow these suggestions.

Most of the MILs will be unhappy about the household works. They want their DIL to look after all the household works and she would like to be stress free lady.

So, if this is the reason (she may not tell this openly, but you could guess it from her actions), then you may wake up little early, finish off all the cooking, and the rest of all the household works can be finished with the help of a servant maid.

If you are giving the whole salary of yours to your parents, then change the pattern. Make an agreement with your husband that from now on, you will give only a certain amount to your parents and in the balance amount, after taking a certain amount for your personal expenditures, the rest of the amount will be handed over to him, every month. For this you can have a joint account and transfer that money to that account.

This may give some relief for your husband too, since he would have been told by his parents that, when you both have children and when the burden increases, your salary given to your parents will increase the burden.

And you should also think about one thing, that your father will not be a very old man by now and he would surely be in a job.. Hope he will also be a earning member. So, they should not totally depend on their daughter or her husband for their day to day living.

Now, try to convince your husband by saying that , by continuing in this govt. job, you will have lots and lots of facilities.

You can have ample time for your maternity holidays.

You can take leave as you please (of course,according to the rules of the job) , whenever there is any function in your house or any other occasions. and this may not be possible in any other private jobs.

You will have many loan facilities, retirement facilities, benefits, etc. through this job.

You can also buy new properties, if you continue in this job.

Even after the arrival of your children, once they grow a little, if your in-laws object to look after them, then you can ask your parents to take care of your children (if they are also in your place itself...or ask them to settle in your place after your father's retirement) during your office hours only.

And please never give anything to your parents without the knowledge of your husband or in-laws. This will create a very big rift and they will start suspecting you for each and everything.

If they have any other reason for objecting your job, then you may please tell the same and we would be able to suggest accordingly.
 
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