Is it normal to feel this way?

arunuma

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Denver
#1
Hi friends,
To start the story - me and my husband loved each other and married almost 4 years before. I know I am very possessive of him. We both had previous love and breakup and we both knew each other's previous relationships also.

My husband has never talked about my previous relationship after the initial talk. But for me, I always get jealous and think abt the previous girl and will ask him if he liked her more than me and all sort of stupid questions. This kind of fight was more in the initial days and he explained me many many times that he loves only me and in fact that shd have been just infatuation and he doesnt even think about her anymore and I am the one to remind him of her.

In my conscious mind, I know that he gives me all importance and love. Yesterday, I got a chance to see his old emails from that girl which in fact I have read before also. As soon as I started reading them, I got dizzy immediately and I could feel that my head was literally spinning. So even after these many years, in my sub-conscious mind, I am uncomfortable. I have to note that after our marriage, they both have not communicated in anyway. But I still feel uncomfortable. I always think why that girl came in my husband's life ever.

Please help me. Is this just possessiveness or should I get some sort of treatment? I am afraid of myself now.

Sorry.. the post is so long.
 

sathya88

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#2
hi uma

no its not good to allow these kind of thoughts. please don't ask your husband again and again about his past love. really it will hurt him and men always don't like to discuss about his past again and again. as he loves you he explained everything to your at the earliest. if you ask again and again, there may be a chance for him to avoid you. he may thought you are doubting him. also there may a chance to talk about your past life. it will create a big problem in your relationship. so please don't create situations like that. thats his past love. leave that and forget it. live your life happily with the present.
 

jv_66

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#3
Yes Uma.....as sathya has told, you should totally avoid thinking of the past of your husband.

If you go on nagging about these to your husband and if he starts digging about your past, what will happen?

Please never look at the mails of your hubby though it is the past one or present one.

Every individual may want to have some personal space and no one has the right to intervene in these.

Only when any suspicion arises, you may intervene.

And when you see the past mails, think about your past. If your husband also happens to see your past mails, how will your present day married life be? will it not turn sour?

So, always make up your mind whenever you happen to think about that girl, that Past is past. It is never going to return. My husband loves me a lot. I have got such a wonderful husband and such wonderful married life with beautiful children.

After following these steps of thoughts, if you still don't find yourself comfortable, you may please visit a Psychiatrist and get his opinion.

Please make sure that you are not suffering from the Post Partum blues. I am telling this because, I think , recently you would have given birth to 2 children.

If this is the case, this is a temporary phase and you will surely come out of this very soon.
 

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